There's a sense of claustrophobia
But not within a box.
When left to myself for too long
I become afraid inside my skin.
And it's almost poetic
Because there won't be an expansion of space
My skull confines what thoughts stir within.
Inhale...EXHALE!
Take too many breaths and I choke.
I choke on the aprehension of never escaping.
And yet, I'm afraid of leaving.
Agoraphobiatic enough to stay exactly behind the threshold.
My eyes are the doors to these fears.
You could never tell it in my face, however...
Because I'm scared of you more than I am of myself.
I'll mimic and agree.
I'll put on a show in a way that you would never suspect
Yet behind my act of egomania
I withdraw myself and present to you another.
Who is braver than I could ever be.
I am my phobia.

A moment of silence

Can be the difference between a war and a calm.

It could be the gap between words

And all the meaning within them.

Just one moment of silence

Can provoke heartache or acceptance.

But after that moment

No others can replace it.

There are only moments of clutter

And mindless choices due uncatagorized actions.

A moment of silence

Comes before the the pull of a trigger

Or after the death of a friend.

It delays the inevitable of letting something go

Just a moment of silence.

Just one second with the absence of sound.

One last look at an alternate ending.

One final inhale of freezing resolve.

One last kiss imprinted in memory.

And a moment of silence keeps it there...

Untouched and unaltered

Free to hang in the air and fill our lungs

And spark nostalgic reminders at our expense.

And in all the moments that will follow

This will be the one that silence will conquer.

Do you hear me?
Is my voice mature enough to articulate my plea?
Should I wait a year or two for my basic right of explination?
I'm sure being so young entitles me to draw attention to myself,
And forget my place in your most complicated world.
So forgive me for the assumption that the past you leave behind
Is the future I'm about to command with my inexperiance.
Instead of teaching me, you choose to neglect.
Instead of preparing me, you choose look down upon and degrade me.
Instead of acknowledging me, you choose to medicate me.
You gave me a false sense of entitlement and then punish me
For your mistakes.
Do you see me?
Does my face have the careworn scowl that yours now carries?
Are my eyes still carrying the innocence that you regret losing?
Don't fret for me then
Because it will soon fade.
The hope that I carry within my smile
Will soon mimic the dissapointment in yours.
I am your child.
I am your student.
I am your caretaker when you are old.
I am your future leader that will stand in your place.
I am encouragable and thirsty for when my voice carries weight.
And when my face grows with the ideas you have placed in my head,
Then you have no one to blame but yourself when your voice goes mute.
You'll be wanting for attention
And my response will be that of rememberance of when I was a child.

I knew you once in my sleep
A figment of dreams And stray thought.
You've mocked my loneliness many times
Even though I've welcomed your voice to my mind.
And as I wake, you seem to linger in the day.
You hardly speak yet I assume you wish to keep the cover of daylight.
So I amuse you to believe that I don't detect you inside of me.
Until you betray yourself to speak
And I feel the skipping of my existence that brings me back to those dreams you so rudely intrude.
Now am I to wonder of your ability to be tangible?
Am I now suppose to obsessively search for your traces and clues like a fiend for a fix?
I've taken hit from you once or twice
And although your effect is euphoric,
Your consistency is short lasting.
So don't flatter yourself with your effect on me.
You've been inside my thoughts long enough to know me.
And I do not claim to be perfect but I hurt myself with the intention to be saved.
An obligation you failed complete though I never asked you to.
I do give you the credit of never mentioning it either.
And that made the itch for you dull through time.
Some people were made to be dreams
And to guard the minds of those who wither when they are all alone.
It's bittersweet that I leave you alone now...
But it's what you wanted in the end.
Isn't it?

He stands above me
Much to far for me to compare.
I am beneath him in all ways
And he will not let me forget it.
On my back for him to conquer
And expose my weakness for him to devour.
I won't fight him out of love
But I **** my voice to compromise with his touch.
He will not know my mind tonight
Though the matter of this does not bring importance to his purpose.
He marks me and shifts me into someone else
Someone more in his image because he hates all others.
And I lay beneath him breathing
And my stomach twists with corrupt acceptance of my bitter love.
He soars above me in brilliance and perfected chaos that I cannot look away.
I am destructed in his wake
Let me be rubble...
Let me be his chaos.
And as he leaves me on the ground
Never to return to my sight,
I feel myself suspended in air
And above you, I fly.