This buggar stuck to my finger
No matter how much I rub and flick
The **** thing won't come loose
It's surely making me sick
I tried to give it time to dry
But it's wet as wet can be
No matter how hard I try
This thing is so **** gooey
I can't put it back in my head
And surely not in my mouth
I guess I have no choice
But wipe it under the couch

The poem with the obvious
Grammar problems
Has been trending
For a while

Yeah, she was a ******
But I gotta give her props
That Bonnie, back when females were always second-class
She hung around with ****** Clyde
And she was such a villain
But ya gotta respect her
That girl got herself top billing

If you have a problem with my breast
Covered by the head of my feeding child
Maybe you shouldn't look at my chest
Man! That suggestion is wild!

I tried to write a poem
About the way that music moves me
But I couldn't find one thing to rhyme with "blissful jungle boogie"

What's the point of admiring a ***** that you never get to watch walk away from You?

I do, sometimes
Ache for you
But I never cry

I am not mentally ill
But I wonder
If I was
How envious I would be
Of all those
Who know
The bliss
Of boredom

We Americans have so much Faith in our election process
That we don't consider it can
Be bought
By the richest man around
It's actually delusional
For us to assume
The election was not bought

In some ways
I rely on my
Brain explosion
To excuse my saying
(Or doing)
Stupid ****
Apparently
I'm offensive
To people
Maybe it's because
My brain exploded
Or maybe
I'm just a ****
I.don't know
What my deal is
But I do know
I don't try
To hurt people
Take it
For what it's worth

It's a hold on my brain
But also it's opposite
In that it is expanding what was there
Not a hold, but still....a hold
In that my brain goes there more than anywhere else
It could be that time looses the reins
Or takes them to it's chest
Either or, I'm looking forward.
(Ps...I put that looses there on purpose.  I know it ain't right)

I didn't lose my mind
I know where I left it
It got stuck to some guy's jacket
And I couldn't follow him around
Without being a creep
My mind will come back to me
It always finds it's home
But I am an owner of a mind
That surely loves to roam.

When your last ****** relationship was with someone you never had *** with.

He willingly walked into my branding iron.

We poets are such fakers
We're always talking
Writing
By picking up the
"Ink and quill"
Not a one of us
Has written with a quill
Or even ink
Unless it's in our
Printer

Within an hour of meeting
He called me "heartbreaker."
I got the feeling
His heart was already broke
And he liked it that way

You can't blame that guy because he doesn't love you anymore
He wasn't an ******* just two days before
But now that he's told you he's all done with you
He's suddenly turned to a devilish brute
That's the thing about being victim of the break
All the things that you loved, are now reason to hate

He's the guy attracted to
The girls who are
Broken
He wants to be the knight in
Shining armor
Rescuing the fair maiden
From her misery
He will not accept
He is broken
Too

Nobody has ever died of broken heart
That was not done by their own hand
Broken hearts are not terminal
But they can convince you that they are
Broken hearts are cured by time
Or by being blown off course

I don't want to be a
Know-it-All
But I think it is
Imperative
That every adult
Should sing
"This Little Light of Mine"
With a child under ten
At least more than once

If you prop yourself up by bringing others down, you have built your house upon a sinkhole.

Please, I beg
Do not make me your everything
Do not love me
More than you love you

I just can't keep my mouth shut
When I disagree
Silently listening to *******
Well, that's just not me
But I invite the same from you
Call me on it, please, please do
Let's all agree to refuse
To tolerate the ******* blues
If you encounter *******
Please get rid of it
Especially
If it's coming from me

When you have gone on a limb
In what you thought
Was a really cute pose
To gain someone's attention
And they took no notice
And that's what everyone else
Took notice of

I had a stroke, you see
So now my son takes care of me
It breaks the heart in me
I want him to be free
He is the bright spot in my day
And says he wouldn't want it any other way

I would guesstimate
At least half of
All sunburns
Are totally worth it

Let's face it
Canada is notable
Because of maple syrup
And how amazingly
Resilient and
Kick-***
It's indigenous peoples
Are

Is there anything in the world  More utterly Tempting
Than un-popped bubble wrap?

The first lady
Wears a jacket
That is wrinkled
And looks like she bought it
At a garage sale
And people are concentrating
On the graffiti
Telling us
What we already knew

I guess there are a couple of people on this site
Complaining they are being stalked by another member
All I can think of is
Where the hell is my stalker?!
Am I not stalk-worthy?
The status symbol of a stalker
Eludes me
Maybe I should make one up
I'll bet half of them are fictitious, anyways

He's got a bunch of other  interests
He keeps on the side
But according to her logic
He cares, because he lied
If he didn't love her
He'd shove it in her face
And she's just so **** happy
She's "winning" in first place

She was clearly the outcast
In her sorry, backwards town
Any time she got up
They would try to bring her down
People always throwing rocks
And giving her a hassle
They figured out too late
She used stone to build her castle

I cannot help but wonder if the physical examination
Conducted by medical professionals
To see if a child has been sexually molested
Just might be more traumatic
To the child
Than the origional molestation, itself.

Please do not tell me what I cannot tell you
My voice is my own, your opinions can *****
I suppose you think I'm rude
But I could say the same to you
I'm not the one tryna go around
Telling people what to do

He entranced my mind
So clever was his wit
I would gladly bind
Myself ever to it
Unfortunately his mouth
Was full of
Jealousy
It took just a short while
To see he wasn't for me
Yet, still I think about him
The boy who ignited my brain
Oh, the chance I didn't take
Saved me a lot of pain

You keep saying you want that boy to change
And maybe, just for you
But how could you expect him to love
Someone who can't accept him for who he is
Would You?

You can spend a hundred dollars
On some ride on toy, or *****
Don't forget the Legos
Matchbox cars, or all the dolls
How about Nerf guns, or a play house with three walls
Buy those kids hundreds worth of trinkets and of baubles
But the the toy they'll love playing with the most
Is the 50 cent bottle of bubbles

I shared the last poem so you can see the creep in the comments. (If he hadn't deleted them by now)

Chewbacca never said a word
But we always know what he meant

If it stirs your heart it is poetry
--Suzy Masser (but now I'm stressing I spelled her name wrong)

I'm pretty sure
Though may be wrong
But I'll give it a whirl
I really doubt there's such a thing
As a "high class" call girl

Is there a more redundant word
That I use so much
How absurd
Clearly ridiculous

Clothes may be
Directly related
To obesity

I tried to open a business
It turned into a big flop
Apparently it turns out
You need a bathroom in a coffee shop

"We've used up and wasted all of our resources, so now we're gonna steal them from you.
And charge you for it"

Sometimes I think I'm a trendsetter
And sometimes I think I'm a
Bigheaded snot

It's not that I don't have a response
It's that my brain couldn't settle upon one wise-*** retort
And I had enough time to realize I was in ******* mode
The mature, adult in me
Is gonna let it slide

If you ever want a good laugh
Sit next to a toddler who sees breastfeeding for the first time
And then, try explain it to him
Guaranteed for a laugh

I have the right
To get on my knees
Anytime, anywhere, anywhy
And might I just say
Peaceful protest is
The American way

He sat her down
Serious look
And held her hands in his
We braced ourselves for something
Whatever it is
"Mom," he said, "I am gay.  I can't change it. I've done all that I can
"Phew," she said, "I was so scared, you were going to say you were a Republican "