I did my dance, I gave to you
The satin ribbon from my shoe
And now through my shoe it won’t lace
Nothing to hold me into place

For weeks I pondered on this choice
with fears too subtle to be voiced
Wondering if I’d given away
the thing that made me not to stray

You used this bow I’d kept for me
To tie me down, discipline me
Created puppet strings you’d lift
You made me dance with you, …

In the aftermath that night
I’d come to know every mom’s fright
And come the dawn you were, I see
Compelled to advertise your deeds
You tied the string around my head
To show off what you’d done in bed
You claimed it made me strong and pretty
Shame your claim wasn’t quite witty
Enough to fool me, they saw through me
No one lets girls who’ve been had truly
Free from perpetually being red
You won’t believe what they had said.

My satin bow became a noose
You’d wrapped it tight, I couldn’t loose
(en) it so slickly
I felt sickly
Every time I had you with me
I wish you’d just leave me alone
I threw you out, and changed my phone
(number) and left you
Called for rescue
Joined the show as I was meant to
Acknowledged everybody’s doubts
Was granted one chance, or be out.

And so I went hoping no change
Would affect my place on the old stage
They looked at me and said it’s fine
That I could still belong in line
Missing my shoes since they'd no bows
To cross themselves in neat-pulled rows

I took a step, onto the tile
The other dancers in a file
But I stood there in my bare feet
And I instead was shown a seat.

I like to think of myself as footprints in the snow
You can see that I was there, but you can’t tell who I am.
I mean, sure, you can find out what kind of shoes I wore
How prepared I was for the weather, my style from the treads
Maybe my weight based on how far it’s sunk in
But do you really know anything about me?
Can you really tell anything about who I am?

I don’t go out into the cold often
It’s nothing like the dark, where I’m traceless, where I’m broken
I go out to the cold to start a new journey, to venture where it hurts
To fill the ice to my lungs and understand that I still breathe
That I keep breathing, that I can go on
Even though it at times it’s empty
Even though at times I can’t..quite..go on
Perhaps one day I hope you’ll follow me, to find out all the rest?
Please do not think you have the full story—though it remains representing me, since that’s what people do.

When I go out into the dark, you can’t see me, you can hear me
But you’ll never know me there if I do not make a sound
Out here you will know, I can’t hide from you at all
But the only thing you’ll ever learn is which way I was bound.

Been hurt once, and you'll never forget
You forgive, get sensitive
learn to learn from the mistakes
of the Blind Man cloaked by love
But never once trust the endurance
of the bluff beneath his bet
or the ground beneath his shoes
For one slip of either hand
marks the end of what he'd give
for that life you have to live
Alone in arrested darkness.

You were handed a key
And'd suddenly "stolen his heart"
And no jury would believe you
If you explained you'd very kindly
Tried to have given it back.
"I didn't break it," you promised
"I carried it around very gently!"
Some things are better not in their owner's possession.

So I swam out into the deep unsure if stumbling in my sleep,
Inept to help the starry sky escape the dawn's predestined reap.
And as the lights fell into dark I saw the sun slip into ocean,
Completely unaware of trends in simple harmonic motion.
I watched it be consumed in daily water-based disaster,
To return spat out at night to glow in shades more like its master.
It then occurred that even though it shone up high like royalty,
The sun was subject, all this time, to answer to the sea.

Sometimes I think I do too many things, and that it takes on my life,

And constricts my breathing

But in truth I am thankful for at least my stressful days are full

So many die and crow, 'if only, if only,'

Perhaps 'If only I had taken time to enjoy the small things,'

But I won't regret it because I can't regret putting too much of myself into the world,

In fact, I think my only regret would be not sharing enough of it

How could I, so blessed with life for another microsecond on this earth, be so selfish?

If I could only be

the vine around your arm,
the kiss upon your lips
the laughter in your ears,

Then I would be eternal. But as it is,

you no longer hear me
you no longer see me
and my touch has long left your skin

This is accepted.

There is a cake.
There is a beautiful, rounded
Vanilla swiss buttercream well-iced cake
That they gave to you.  

This cake makes me miss you
Makes me miss running my fingers
Throughout your hair
And gently pressing my own soft lips
To yours, Instead of your lips pressing
     this stupid cake.
And I know that you love it.
And I know that if you do not have
every ounce
You will starve.  

I was jealous of this cake, I admit
Jealous indeed of the shiny new replacement
They gave for you for my love
It made you feel good inside and out, as well
Enriched your brain, and your appetite
I was jealous and stole a slice in spite of you.  

Then I realized, that you love this cake
You have waited for this cake, every year
Every birthday
Hoping for the envelope informing you
That the time for cake was now
That the cake WAS your time, now, and that
All of you was invested, in this succulent dessert
And you needed to keep as much as you could,
     for your sake,
I came to accept the fact, that you needed so.  

But like your hair, I brush this cake
with the tips of my fingers, I taste this cake
I understand the sweetness you enjoy
and the sanctity of it being left alone  

But if I dare to kiss this cake
because I adore the things you care about so much
and some icing comes onto my lips
Have I stolen something from you?