Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
 
Aug 2013 · 289
bitter, still
haley Aug 2013
i know
that you know
that i loved you
when you tolerated me
and now
i will never
be able
to face you
and now
when i am forced
to see you
my mouth fills
with an acrid taste
and now
instead of smiling
my lips curl down
in the corners
when you meet
my eyes
with yours
but
my heart still
flutters with nerves
and i know
yes, i know
that you
are no good
for me.
haley Aug 2013
every time
i leave the sea
i feel as though my soul
crawls back into
the deepest corners
of my body
to hide
and slumber
until i am reunited
with glittering waves
and soft sand
and windswept
dripping hair.
haley Aug 2013
the worst day
of my life
is not
my last.
Jul 2013 · 1.2k
break down the dams
haley Jul 2013
life has stripped me
of the ability to shed a tear

my throat tightens
a clenched fist
in my esophagus
making breathing painful

and still no
******* tears
Jul 2013 · 412
save your pulse
haley Jul 2013
if you ever decide
to pick up your razor
and hold it against your
beautiful skin
i want you to stop
if only for a second
and remember

that just millimeters
from the cold metal
there is stardust
flowing through your veins

that every breath you breathe
is precious oxygen
the very same that fills the lungs
of every stunning creature
you have ever seen
human or otherwise

that there is someone
somewhere
who would greatly benefit
from just one encounter
with you

that you
are entirely unique
and irreplaceable
and capable
of more than you could ever imagine.
you just need to be here.

*give yourself a chance.
haley Jul 2013
there is something beautiful
about rushed,
shallow breathing;
sweat-sticky hair;
and salty fingerprints.

i like to think i leave
pieces of myself
that i no longer need
in the scattered sunlight
of my early morning runs.
Jul 2013 · 383
invisible ink
haley Jul 2013
i write because i want to
document every terrible way
you make me feel
so i never feel it again
but every time i fall for you
i can only read
the positives
and it's impossible
to tell when the
pain will sneak up
and capture me

i am never prepared.
Jul 2013 · 319
amber
haley Jul 2013
shadows on the surface
of the lake
remind me
of darker days

just like the darker
regions
of your
eyes.
Jul 2013 · 232
a shadow is still a clue
haley Jul 2013
in our youth,
we often pretended
and believed
that we were not
what we were.

i have realized lately
that it became
a habit.
Jul 2013 · 686
pros and cons
haley Jul 2013
to know
that you don't care
is sort of liberating
i have no one to impress
and yet also constricting
*did i never impress you?
Jul 2013 · 294
no beginning, no end.
haley Jul 2013
it occurs to me that i am alone
more than not
and that maybe
it's my fault.

maybe
i push people away
maybe
i should have asked you
to stay.

i know - you always say - that i need to try
i need to reach out
i need to make plans
but plans fall through
and friendships end
and i am tired of
endings
so i've stopped creating
beginnings.
and maybe that's how i like it.
Jul 2013 · 344
do i want to know?
haley Jul 2013
if i told you i miss you
would you say you miss me too?

would you lie
or would you tell the truth?

is it the truth
or is it the lie
that i would want to hear?
Jul 2013 · 570
depth
haley Jul 2013
it goes like this:

my toes curl over the edge
the stone ledge is warm beneath my feet.
i tense
and leap
and for a fragile second i am hanging, twisting
above the dancing water.
i swear,
i can fly.
the sunlight reflecting off its surface
stains my retinas
as my body plummets.
the ocean reaches up
and swallows me whole
with a splash of chilly water.
i open my eyes
to see millions of tiny
light-filled bubbles
float to the surface,
leaving me alone
in the dark.
i sink slowly,
as though drifting off to sleep
and am only conscious enough
to register the cloud
of sediment
that surrounds me
as my body reaches
the bottom.

and then there is you:

you watch from the shore
smiling
as i leap.
after all,
this only recreational, right?
i have every intention
of resurfacing
a moment after the plunge
of course.
but you
you see that i have
not risen
and you must think
you must
"her lungs,
they must be starved
of air".
and rather than rush to my aid
for i am clearly drowning
you sit back on the shore
and prepare
to yell
and scream
and cause a scene
but not for help
no
you will scream at me
because you
feel betrayed
that i could so easily leave you.

don't you know i wish i wasn't drowning?
don't you know that i could have been saved?
not really sure what happened here, but i kind of like it.
Jul 2013 · 382
the energy of children
haley Jul 2013
this morning
was beautiful.
i pounded along
on the asphalt
sweat running in rivulets
down my back.
my closest friend and i
ran
until we could barely breathe
and
when we could barely breathe
we stuck flowers in our hair
and were kids again.
Jul 2013 · 326
090511
haley Jul 2013
spinning
we all are spinning
like tops
on wooden tables
so unstable that
one breath
is all that is
needed to send us
toppling
i wrote this 2 years ago, and just edited it...not really sure if i like it.
Jul 2013 · 487
forget
haley Jul 2013
i don't want to see you
ever again.
please,
just let me be.
Jul 2013 · 468
lust
haley Jul 2013
i worry that i have
lied every time
i told a boy
i loved him.

i fear that i have
only ever been
and will only ever be
"in love"
with the idea
of love.

and most of all,
i am terrified
that every boy
who has ever told me
he loved me
was in love
only with the idea
of love.
         not me.
Jul 2013 · 509
"shiver"
haley Jul 2013
on and on
from the moment i wake
till the moment i sleep,
i will be by your side
just you try and stop me.
i'll be waiting in line
just to see
if you care.


did you want me to change?
well,
I changed for good.
and I want you to know
that you'll always get your way.
these are lyrics from the song Shiver by Coldplay. such a beautiful song.
Jun 2013 · 277
remember
haley Jun 2013
i've always thought that it is so
beautiful
the way that certain songs call forth
memories of vacations
and days spent lost in
the perfect novel.

i've always thought that it is so
remarkable
and so ******* sad
the way that i am reduced to
shaky knees
and ear shattering heartbeat
at the sight of you
-
and to think that time
had healed
and released
me from
you.
Jun 2013 · 386
summer
haley Jun 2013
i spend
the e n t i r e year
lusting
and
craving
for summer

but by the time
it arrives
i find that
i really don't
care for the heat
or the sweat
or the smothering humidity.

and so
i lust
and crave
for autumn's grace
and the death of
warmth
so that i may
feel alive
again.
this turned out weird..
Jun 2013 · 584
roots
haley Jun 2013
i used to
like to think of myself
as a tree.

maybe
a weeping willow
or
a crooked pine.

but now
i have grown tall
and strong
and my bark has grown thick
and my roots have taken hold.

i am no longer
weeping
or crooked.

i am as strong
as the strongest oak.

and this is the first time
i've thought of you
in two months.
May 2013 · 921
sacrifice
haley May 2013
to think we were best friends this morning
and now,
i bite the back of my hand
to keep from screaming obscenities
into your ugly face.

you sit on your pedestal,
immersed in yourself,
and accuse me of immaturity
when i walk away
when you say
"i don't care
about you."

you think
that i act this way
because i am
"insecure"
"pathetic"
"sensitive"
but really,
darling,
it's because
i have realized that
i
  deserve
     better
         than
                          this.
*not to the same person as previous poems*
May 2013 · 571
inescapable
haley May 2013
on days when i feel
as though i may actually be getting over you
i find myself
looking,
searching
the eyes of those who pass by,
hoping
fearing
that i'll fall for a
stranger.

tonight,
as i sat with my family
in a cozy restaurant
my eyes found a boy.
he was beautiful.
several times,
we locked gazes.

but the problem was,
he looked just like you.
May 2013 · 616
traces
haley May 2013
i think that
as long as i know you
possibly longer
you will cling to the innermost
recesses of my mind
to the notches in my spine
to the cavities behind my eyes
and the creases of my elbows

but i
i will only leave traces
of myself
on the soles of your shoes.
-hmt
May 2013 · 701
you are the desert sun
haley May 2013
i think that even if i
drank all of you in
while i had the chance
i would still fear
death
by dehydration.
idk if this makes sense
sorry
May 2013 · 287
if
haley May 2013
if
i would gladly die tonight
if
i would be born anew at dawn;
if
my heart did not know you when i arose;
if
i could

forget you
May 2013 · 313
ache
haley May 2013
for every time
i get high off your attention
there is an inevitable crash.
i want only to crawl into bed
each time
and sleep away the betrayal
(that isn't really betrayal).
but sleep is hard to come by
and hard to endure
when my dreams are only of you.
and the hardest part
is that i know
that i have not crossed your mind
                                                               once.
May 2013 · 771
ambivalence
haley May 2013
i love you.
your words make me dizzy;
my thoughts like ants who've lost their trail.
i hate you.
one glance sends the blood rushing to my face;
i can hear my heart pound like waves against a stony shore.

get out
of my head.



i love you
because you're sweeter than honey
and sharp as a tack.
i love you
because you make me laugh
and make me feel special.

i hate you,
though,
because you love
                               her.

and yet you still have my heart.
dear ****r,
sometimes i wish we weren't friends.
May 2013 · 282
untitled
haley May 2013
I've been alone for so long.
Does this muscle still work?
Is my heart still beating?
The true question,
I think,
is: will someone help me
figure it out?
morning ramblings...sorry!
May 2013 · 357
nothing
haley May 2013
i am nothing but these words scratched on paper
and the golden strands of hair that lie in forgotten places that i haven’t seen in ages.
i am nothing but the buried impressions of footprints i took years ago
and the sweat i dripped into the ocean.
i am nothing but the warmth i breathed into the snow
and the fingerprints i left on the cold hotel window.
i am nothing but the coffee stain on the old wooden table
and the trails of meteors i’ve watched fall.
i am nothing but the dust in your lungs
and under your feet
and caught in your hair.
i am nothing
but i am everywhere

— The End —