Ghost of you,
my Phantom Lover
lays down 
beside me 
longer than you 
ever had.
I've lasted 
wearied years 
since you left. 
Your Phantom
moved in
upon me
thereafter.
Together we've been since.
I haven't endured 
the madness 
in my clouds
alone. 
I have now 
spent more time 
with your ghost.

She is easier 
to live with, 
your ghost.
Perhaps just as deadly, 
just as dangerous.
In my mind anyway.
Her phantom presence 
scares me to death.
Your ghost 
has since convinced me 
I don't know you. 
And I never did.

Your Ghost
whispers, 
musing verse:
"She isn't quite 
your toothy flower, 
pernicious and proud
with all the power.
Hellbent high
and burning sour...
trippin 'round 
the Midnight Hour."

We can be ourselves,
Your Phantom 
and I.
There is not much hiding.
And certainly no projecting.
The ghost of you 
doesn't humiliate me 
or make me small.
She is gentle 
and smiles 
more easily.
She is here, 
next to me 
when I am alone.

I need her in my life.
Even if 
it is just to remind me
of the pain, 
the haunting, 
the torment. 
The memory in her 
fills me. 
Not of you.
Fills me 
with my shameless love 
for you.

My Phantom Lover
inspires my poetic bursts 
and employs 
my empty moments. 
My thoughts of her 
task me 
to create, 
to express, 
to love. 

Your pre-dawn reach,
your vampire lust
awakens us both.
Context of promise 
and hope 
in colored air
hangs briefly.
Your Phantom
wraps her angelic limbs
about my trembling frame
and I drift,
dreaming of
Wasted Love.

It seems your ghost 
is more present 
now 
than yourself 
when 
we were together. 
Sometimes 
it consumes me, 
however, 
as I am not 
strong enough 
to resist.
I am 
just weak enough 
to dream 
to hope
What could have been
instead
of what was.
The idea
of what we
could be…

My siren sings softly,
more verse:
"Just when I think 
I have no more heart 
to break...
Just when I feel
I have no more love 
to take,
Bitterness and resentment 
now careless contentment.
Impressions upon 
my pillow case,
Fine lit hair 
like golden lace.
Like promises 
we didn't keep
Empty loss
so sharp,
too deep.
For not a life 
you didn't see,
your ghost found 
true love
with me.
You were but a luxury 
Phantom Lover,
now necessity.
After night binge,
your memory…"

Her prayer,
your Phantom, 
my lover,
the next witch
may release your pebble
from my shoe
and exorcise you 
with her noble magic.
I don't worry
how many drinks
she's had.
Or what meds
your ghost 
is abusing.
She does not add words
or remove them
from the sentences 
I speak.
She is honest and loyal.
She is still here.
Beside me.
I can only see now 
what doesn't exist.
As though it never did.

Just now,
this moment.
In my ear…
She muses:
"Promised nothing
granted everything
attempts to sleep
At once,
the grief;
thoughts of you 
wake my mind.
Heartbeat 
quickens.
Pain in time…"

I hover,
floating
with haunting awareness.
I live in happy sadness.
Your Phantom 
is a corruption 
in my head 
not my heart.
She is my idea
of you.

Under white pillow ceilings
I witness in childlike wonder
The Great King Elephant 
did hide in the Clouds 
with his friends 
Death and Folly
Honu and Homer's heroes
Pavarti with Peacocks
and Rockhopper Penguins

The World has stopped 
The Oceans 
then whispered 
to the Earth
The Sky overheard them
and sculpted again
with great abandon 
The Earth 
was tremendously overjoyed 
She set upon 
bolder trees and wiser deserts 
And let the animals know
Flowers with unique faces
de novo in the joy of the Rain
cleansing the lonely paths of man

I beheld a Different Sky today
sweet with promise and decorum
where Clarity holds Paramount
She repeats
to those who will listen

The Sun sang his shiny song 
and threw spotlights 
unspoiled upon
all the Creatures of Creation
Beast and bird 
synced reminiscent rhythms
Breaking through 
the now ancient 
Cities of Gold
Enormous flocks did crowd 
the modern Sky
And the Rebirth is known
As Phoenix itself 
leads the formation

Through it all
The Stars see us 
more clearly now 
The Moon somehow 
seems moments closer 
as she winks delish 
and swings her sass

They each escaped
to the freshborne 
Lilac Meadow
where they cajoled and rejoiced 
The Wind and the Rain 
teased the Clouds
The Sun begged the Moon 
for this symbolic dance
The Stars waltzed
hide-and-seek 
with the shrubs 
and the hedges
Man was invited too
He was warned 
not to play too close 
to the Fire
Again

All danced 
our blessed dance
And revelled 
As Yesterday's pyre
flared higher
and farther
Licking the toes 
of all living things

Golden foxes 
did strike fair accord
with withered sheep
and woeful jackrabbits
Truer still
The Elements
once again granted
Man humble magnificence 
I stood reverently 
encouraged and inspired
by this reset
Alas repurpose
Another opportunity yet
Of Nature's Last Chance
In our New World
Under a Different Sky

April 8th, 2020

Safe Corner

Where you're living
in my head
Escaping corners
and tunneling through
Spaces leaving
sober dread
Twisting and turning
your rusty *****

Constant raking
and scraping
I endure
Memories bashed
black and blue
Your affection
and love
a casted lure
Aching mind
and heart so true

I've found a corner
a place so small
Too far now
from your evil light
Somewhere safe
inside to crawl
You cannot reach me
in this fight

I live there
when the pain’s
too much
Resting safely
during haunting times
Forgetting dreams,
nightmares, and such
Holding dearly
against your
cruelist crimes

Here I holdfast
blocking out
the shame
Of allowing you in
to do your damage
Lest your apologies
against hollow claim
Cementing certain
bonded baggage

I won't let you in
or let you see
I shall make
for self preservation
Trying all
may save
what's left of me
Built only
for strict aspiration

Trapped here now
am I all alone
Trust and folly lost
I shall lament
In this haven
I must atone
A prison within
untold torment

Safe from you now
and deeds you've done
Dug in so deeply
away from affliction
Turned in my mind
this place to run
Agony no longer
my sweet addiction

Sacred sanctuary
I will stay
Abandonment fortified
behind silent bars
Until yesterday
can fade away
I witness
unreachable world
bereft of stars

I sat at our diner this night and stared across the vinyl booth.
Your vacant silhouette seemed to suddenly reach for something and I could swear I heard you laugh.
I pushed my food from one side of the plate to the other until dry potatoes spilled onto the table.

I sat there dully, alone.  
I began navigating the rhythm of my relationships, of our relationship. 
I believe the most satisfying sport for you was to ignore me when I craved your attention the most. 

My heartache has become my lover these days.
I hold your phantom hand as I step my unsteady path home. 
High above the lane I see tea lights on a terrace. 
Dancing light plays upon the night and Billie Holiday weeps faintly from an open window.

It's sweater weather now and the chill directs me home. 
It's cold. You are cold.
I must find warmth.
I turn on your playlist as I fall to sleep and think,
The more impossible, 
The deeper the love.

When I was seven years old,
my parents
took my brother, sister, and I
to the beach
in Crescent City.

As we stood
near the shore,
a fish jumped
out of the waves
and into my hands.

It was at that moment
I became aware
I am capable of anything.

True story.
I was seven once.

Time to go.
My world has withered.
This pandemic 
will sweep me away 
from joy undiscovered 
and beauty unrealized.
The blossoms 
are no longer blooming 
on The Mall,
The Eternal Flame has gone out.
Darkened jackboots 
drown out 
the honor tap 
of The Tomb Guard.

Sycophantic sickness 
spreads scourge 
as babies are caged, 
holiday dinners are ruined, 
and he grabs them 
by the *****.
Half a hallowed hall 
stands and cheers 
as a racist 
presents a medal 
to another racist. 

Our Divided States 
watch in helpless horror.
A Nation's Nightmare continues.
Decent dissidents are bombarded with a continuous campaign of lies.
Lie after lie.
Gone are accountability 
and reason.
This land has formally been set adrift by an immoral government obsessed with greed and power. And then… 
greed 
and power.

Boasting and bragging 
and bellowing his *******, 
the hapless dictator steals 
his fortune in a cacophony 
of crime and cover-up,
Corruption and concealment. 
The soured and slow 
are but chattel and fodder 
for our people's demise.
Oaths mean nothing,
Moral consciousness lost.

The sheep bleat louder now,
Not for the wolves,
But at the wiser sheep.
Rip it up
Rip it up indeed!
Rip up lies
Tear apart misinformation 
Tear it all up
We are near the end.

It's time to go.
It's time to go
straight to the Booth 
For one last try.
We must
Bring back the Bloom
And honor the Tomb
We MUST fight
To keep Liberty lit
We will not let
Democracy die
In the darkness!

Before we are gone
It's time to go.

As Earth's pirouette
its eternal dance,
We celebrate another darkness to light
Along superfluous mythical demarcations between the two

Thus, tonight's witnessed passing
Offers little more
than the last
Perhaps nothing more
than the next
Dare say I,
Common
Unspecified...

Yet archaic rituals
And tried traditions true
Ring throughout Her
Witching Hour
As a new pass
An open invitation
Clean slate

Our night is,
as all the others
Created, She was
For wishes
Promises
Kisses
Beginnings

The line drawn
in Her midnight sand
Is but an illusion
You are welcome
To resolve
Anything
Anytime
Anywhere

We do not require this
Concocted date
To dance and sing
Nor celebrate

Conjuring Love
And Peace
And Hope
This Eve!

Eternal is not infinite
And infinite is not timeless
Time is merely
A wicked concept
In which we box our lives

Yell and sing and kiss
Hold each other tight
Each new day
And Dance
your eternal dance
Each and every night

Happy New Day