Reality an elegant ruse
Mentality portends the muse
In blight or bliss it misconstrues
Twisting neutral, natural balance
as it may choose

Perception blinds the aching mind
thru meaning sought in surfeit
of information's dissipation
by humankind, concerted

The relevant and elegant
realities we're exposed to
are simply short of sembalance
as limitations impose you

No objectivity exists
interminably trapped alone
as we are forced to reminisce
with ego's memories on its throne

By this frailty of mine
the northern wind
should strike me cold
and I will shatter

Left afraid, asunder,
left to wilt and wonder
of the me I never had
yet still have lost

To see the sun
undone in darkness
when the overhanging clouds
consume it whole

As I am hung
struck fast to new beginnings
into winter’s ice
into roiling confusion
and omens of death
where the land speaks
only in whispers

All things sleeping, if alive at all
yet, I hear
deep in the warmth
of my heart
(which never dares to speak)
a final cry as I
loom over
Death’s cold stare

Parting from
the fragments of
life
I once claimed
myself

Untethered

There becomes
the all encompassing storm

No longer are there clouds
nor is there vision

We are suspended mist
This illusion of a form
which does not exist

I am not I

We retreat
to love in deep
to see the overlay begotten

Whilst under thy
unyielding tides
lie everything
as One
forgotten

Meandering in longing
Enamored and encupped by awe
The throngs of no belonging
Emotions’ breadth in crypts of flaw

Supposedly a brief respite
Stretched to a night unending
Monotony and doldrums sit
In magick’s-wove pretending

Surrendered unto nothing new
Defender of the hidden true
I bide aside, in wait of you
In wait of fateful mending

I had a calling, when out there
I saw the light and rose, aware
But only now, as I’m ensnared
Do I see Night’s ascending

So grant me form to see in dim lit solitude
And grant me grace, to waste no time in interlude
I wish no more to stray amiss in destitude
And only then shall I find right, my wronging

Deep sunk heart
When tension's low
My heartstrings bow
And resonate in flow
With the reverberations of
Higher vibrations
Thoughts of love
Beyond me

I remember feeling so strange before
I want to rip out my heart
Bleed my ichorous essence
And paint a portrait of my mind
In my own blood

Whereof void cometh light
Therein the realm of whispers stretching vast
By what great somnolence fore-takes the night
Unto the mind’s recoupled, last

By speckled sand in burgeoned storm
Whose weaving deems thy make
In nebulous, unstructured form
Til brinks, again, daybreak

Whence shrouded depths bestow thy name
O Maker of the Lands Estranged
O Dark Unbridled Taskmaster
What mirth beguiles thy claim?

For in the harbored bow of day
To eat of such abound
Remade in Night’s shadow’d parlay
As we, remade from ground

What, by thy gazing over land
Should bring immortal what is man?
Where through the reaching unto nought
Shall future’s stake, our hearts allot?

Where dreams be dreamt in wake and rest
Your hand to ours, there, to caress
To guide our minds and move our breaths
To breathe for life’s unending test

As is the mount to he who hikes
A place to chase the peak
Should we, who in nature alike
See ours and wish our keep

An overarching sense of one
Left open to new changes
Love's energies forever run
Breaking free, love rearranges
Ether's gross, effulgent shifts
Course openly forever
On currents of unending bliss
Meandering thru vast endeavor
Into the brightest, freeing choice
Newfound promises beget
Gnosis one, but our own voice, fragmenting to currents met

The earth is never still
torrential momentum
can you feel it too?
The way the universe moves in pivots
on clockwork, centripetal lensing

Locked upon the surface, inert
Stagnant never stopping
Living in transitions
I am
Expeditious

If I were cast
into the void of nought
to sit in stillness
would Time shift
to a grinding halt?

Would the gears of reality
befall me
as I am consumed
into the fleeting rescendance?

Light-speed is dark
color blurs, and lines of stars
are not but imagery
when nothing can reach a mass
which tears itself from gravity
unmoving

If I were to melt
into time itself
becoming spaghettified
energetic, formless
would’st petrificatiON
arise belied to existence?

Could, then, I be
without me
without freeform, broken
penchant

Time shifts in days on
Ever standing in coagulant collision
Universal
Rot

Many dimensions intersect us
Poking through the perforations
Of the quantum flux

And soulbound to the collective
Is the suspended intervision

I am introspect, delicate derelict
A piece of self, its own
Unknown to space’s haste
A purer nothing

Then pop!
Come I, again, to being
To become undone by tunneling
Through infinitesimal
Again, herein
The fabrix of
what Matters

Storms of blackened sky and dampened earth. Thunderous silence. Aggressive solitude. Rot; erode, my afflicted qualia. Decompose, my ignorant regalia. Again, to grow, from blackened sky? Arise; from soot and silt, a sprout, amongst the flowing dirt.

Return to your mother, and be exhaled as color, anew, your own.
This heavy chested, poignant, indescribable emotion of chaos amongst emptiness; I suppose I will forever fail to describe it.
Who are you? Who am I? How can we be empty, or full, if we are not even shells?
Cyclical life, extant but fleeting, yet never without itself, throughout, without, inside, and beyond time.
We are the ocean as well as the drops, the sand, the shells, the air above, the sky beyond, the space and time and energy. Microcosms.
I don't understand.

Mirrors flip a picture

Show you warped, but nigh to true

A glimpse of you thru shallow fissures

Your resemblance seen anew

Tho light is sparsely scattered
o’er nought but space confounded

And these windows hold no light to shine their own
Utility and grace abounded

Whence the mirror image shown


Yet in the company, akin

Of mirrors against mirrors

There is infinity within

Til something else comes nearer



Such beauty lost to fleeting things

Of beings fettered to this land

Yet in their company it brings

A vortex ever to expand

Cruelty of heart
The swelling
Before tears
When no tears come

The pressure
In my ears
The howling wind
As if
A portal in my head
Could take me away

To mountains swarmed
In tempests
Touching the sky
Daring to scrape the stars

My head hums
I think of conch shells
Holding oceans
In their caverns

Yet
In this silent night
Crickets
In my empty dreams
I am allured
To unbinding
In the distant tides
of nought

I am ire
In the land of wrath
And I smile emptiness
On your behalf

I linger, soulless
In the grass
Overgrown
and under pathed
In terror, peril
Paralyzed
I reap the fortuned
And dole demise

I am nature
Cruel and empty
I once was full
But you reject me

I am every sin you've casted
To the wind, now everlasting
I am the dark you dread
I am flagrance, and the dead

Whose kinship weighted to the stars?
Whence ‘pon somnolence alone I stood in brazen
As in tumbling ever unto unbecoming
Doth mine feeble mind, eroded, dessicate

Twas thee, elusive child of naught-let whimsy
Whose implorement did expose my pale visage
As in storms of seas, and listless nights,
thine ilk erects atonement

In shattering shackles of perspective
With gentle blades of softest sounds
To render mine enigma commonplace

Prithee, take leave
But frail fate, do not abhor
As it were, an oft unproached night
Beget allusions of entreatment

Perhaps it is in quietness and subtlety of realization that transformation may work its way under the skin, and settle in and into, and become a part of being. That stretching, yawning idea that one sees as fact without ever having greeted it before, yet may respect as if it were so intrinsic to their day to day life as to be unnoticeable. Existential crisis may send the mind spiraling and gripping at open air as one’s very soul plunges into empty abyss, thereto disintegrate; but existential connection is so integrated and undisturbing that we may grow alongside our ignorance, and befriend it. Rather than lose ourselves, we might find we were there under our own noses, and shrug or laugh at the foolishness of seeking in darkness what was always exposed in the light.

I've always known there was a reason for everything. That's why I'm so obsessed with that infernal question of "Why?" Although, in recent times, it seems more about the "How?" than the "Why?", and every piece of the puzzle seems to be a twin. When the puzzle's almost complete, but the picture isn't the same as the one on the box, maybe "Why?" and "How?" should be substituted for "Where?" and "When?"

In spite of melting
I am formed of clouds
Cast on the wind

I am nature's mutation
Existing without being

Life churns in avenues and cinches
I am cosmic expletives

Tear me apart
And let me wisp
And deteriorate
In the map of stars

Give me nothing
But a push
And I will drift forever

Who is that?
Was it me once?
What is "What is what is?"

I remember bleeding
Before tears

I am seated in the cusps
Of fissures in time

Harrowed
Is my nature
Unto oblivion
I am

Oblivious

For
I have no mind
For earth

Auspicious ostensibly ostentatious pontification expounded
Proliferation of erratic introspection elucidates subconscious
aggrandizement

Internalized defensive antagonization of subversive intention toward affirmation
Irrational exacerbation of separation from an inconceivable force

Liberation begets elation of self
The soul-mind complex regurgitates doubt
Infinitely separating composition exposed
The illusion of individuality

Convolution brings malice in ignorance
Through dissonance in emotion
Collaboration of thought incites foundational expansion

To indoctrinate logic of subjective philosophical altruism
Pulchritudinous is agape affection, for we revel in its touch

Never to set our eyes on other stars
We gaze out at the sky
And forever wonder

Thunder beckoning my tribe
Of foreign hunters from the sky
I fly on wings of solid steel
Centuries of anguish to appeal

He rides the lightning from afar
While trailing from a shooting star
The fiercest wind, a crashing sound
Mephistopheles inbound

The Satan's spawn, demon of wrath
Is on a malevolent path
Onto a rendezvous of  souls
Intent on taking all control

He hunts the weak to gain his power
Until will come the final hour
A battle between beast and man
The fight to take the promised land

In days of six and nights of five
The promised one will be revived
He will forsake his own
To sit upon his mighty throne

The innocent will be beguiled
All hatred will be reconciled
But this will all just be a hoax
And the world will be engulfed in smoke

Miasmas of the blackest night
The death of innocent by blight
Inseparable of death
Inoculating breath
Is taking hold of me
Suddenly I can see

And from the sky there comes a sound so loud!
In my mind I am alive again, though gasping for air.
I say please, save me!

They take my hand and I'm above the clouds.
And lighting fills the air.
And everything is energized, we're floating!
And I can see myself over there!
It's not over; he's back, the final conspirator!

So I grab hold of him, and I start punching him, but I'm just a boy!
They were there with me, my comrades, and they attacked him with the various building blocks.

But he unleashed a fearsome attack. All from his body it exploded. Shrapnel made a mark to me.
I fall feint.

And when I wake up there he is; Mephistopheles, standing over me.
I say, Mephistopheles! Why??
And he say, because there is no point!
And I say, what does that matter? You don't need a point to be happy.
He said, now, that happiness isn't everything. And he stabbed me in the neck.





But in my very last breath, no longer inoculating me, he say that it is to live that is to mean and that death is just to be as much.
I gasp!
Then it all fades again, this time for good. But the last thing I see, my comrade is falling down upon him and the final blow ends it.

Yeah, he got his wish.

By acquisition of perfidiousness,
  superabundant equanimity serves as cynosure
for perspicacious circumlocution
  Extricated from acumen by coruscant conviviality
     prescient luminescence elicits magnanimous ebullience
   Profundity wrought the saxicolous
    Winebibber, penultimate in cupidity
    Unencumbered by concupiscence
   in which anomalistic accoutrements might unto be bequeathed
Alas, only by auspices, might idiosyncrasies be brought to be remunerative
As such, in trust, bellwether, to excogitate and make usufruct
is as to find parsimonious, what opulence incorrigibly writhes therein
By hedonistic primal instinct, chase, to what is callipygian

pulsing and throbbing
with the desire to be one of them
traveling along busybody vectors
living life in motion

that listless, sondering countenance;
an aching, yawning, gnawing
yearning feeling

the star-blight cacophony;
sound cannot emanate throughout space
i cook myself
in burgeoning sonic vibrations

In a forest, dead,
with scattered leaves
Its ground frozen,
and wilted of color
A falcon perches
Unperturbed
By snarling predators
Strung about
Upon the forest floor
The wolf strays
But never loses sight
Of its many allies
Seeking sustenance to share

The wind bellows
Through canopies above
Swaying the trees
To sing their song
Their language lost to time

The deer flee
Adorned in fear
And mystery
No home stays safe

The robin cries
To find its lifeblood
A mate, a partner;
A legacy

The owl
Wise as ever
Stays hidden
‘Til nightfall,
and easy pickings

Crows fly by,
In murderous surplus
Strung amiss on winds
Which tarry absently
Mice hide underfoot
In leaves
and burrows aplenty
Scavenging whatever’s left behind

In peaceful silence,
The songs of life
Break tension

The trickling
Of a stream
Can be heard
in the distance
A forest, dead,
with scattered leaves
Still very much alive
Upon further inspection

Heart sodden

mind aflit

How fleeting

the years

nostalgia rapt

2:37am

Spells of sonder sink within my soul
If only to love and be loved
When one so misunderstood can take glimpse
And hearts beguiled by coalescence
Whereupon the mind recoils
Emotion stands on high

Whence fleeting youth foretold of recompense
Allude to thee, take refuge in my heart
O, piercing wind, subtly showing strength
Encompassing earth, untouched
My mind will flitter, clinging close
Adjourning hastily toward
(Un)destination
Together, as one, in truth
Transcendent

Passerby within my mind
Your camera clicks may part
A darkness thick as endless night
With limited reach, alas, does penetrate the light
And so, my candle sparked, I hop aboard
Catch the train; soul of yours, headed toward
Another night, without reward
Another fight, more endless scourge
But nothing quite, can be ignored
Or recommended for
As we are weak and worn
As we are different forms
Pretender, sure, in truth do you bore
Shelter self within the walls of my cerebral core
And do implore
Your every wish, without, needst lore
And every instance sworn

Open ended, gratuitous, and transparent
Synergy restored
As love is love, and hate is more
Individually wrought, but torn
Taped, remade, forlorn
Alleviating self, amor

So, and so, as one, we charge forward
So, and so, in confidence, we pour
-emotions into crucibles of halves of selves, before
But now, as one, so absolute are we, for
Each other's heart we bore

I go outside and see
the birds and the bees
Listen to the wisping wind
and whispering of the trees

Open up my eyes
and let my mind begin to bleed
out through my skull
and into everything

Look up, watch the clouds drift by
and feel the passing breeze
and as my head’s becoming light
I see the sun begin to blink

Everything’s alive
and It is breathing rhythmically
I leave the cave behind
To exhume the world from in my dreams

I'm addicted to the punishment
I just keep coming back
I've got the motive
I can own it
Til I conquer what I lack

It's like a high when I get by
And I'm a better fit for more
Cause I'm awaiting all the pain
And all the suffering in store

It's just a fact of life
You've gotta go through strife
So why not take the edged knife
Put in your mouth
And take a massive ******* bite

I was all nines
Until I saw the value
In the openness of zero

By way of fate
you separate your heart
from what is real,
for in your knowing imposition,
you exhume appeal.

It is to turn away from flowing,
that you learn of ever growing
things within your own pariah's haven.

Patronize yourself in madness;
flicker in the dark.
Surround yourself with solitude,
and isolate your art.

You are the voice of ages.
You exist to turn the pages
fate is writ upon,
and wrought from nothing,
you will carry on forever.

Hark, your inner voice
is stark and screaming.
Rise.
Uncompromising
in your gleaming

In she came
Like a gust of wind
Sweeping me off my feet

And in the air
I lingered there
And felt my mind retreat

It was loss of heat to air
Through which my mind became aware
And thence did doubt deplete

And as I lingered in the air
And as I saw myself engulfed
My eyes did rise to shining sun
Seeing visions of plenty; my whims undone

But thus, alas, as time should fleet
To harrowing mysteries before
My bubble burst at the seams
I plunged to dark, abhorred

Through questioning and recompense
I sought the light fore-met
And in the mind’s eye, new light shined
Through memory dispensed
So there I fell
To abject hell
And there my mind resides
Yet only in the shadow’s summit
Should inner balance, and life bide

Break free of fear
The dark is here
You harbor it inside
Make only effort to balance dark
With all the light you find

As love should take you places
You could never hope to see
Take care to love your many faces
Seek setting your soul free

I see angels
hiding in interesting places
Reading numbers and
forging signs for many
minds upon
passing tides
of energy
I see them
perched
atop their
ethereal pedestals
in astral
in multitude
and bleeding beauty;
magick, which winds
into the arrow of time
I see emotion
crystallize
and bend
the flow to
rend inertia
to the will
of mortals
I am
forever floating
on the tides
of in between
I am
I am
not
I am
but
a vessel
for this
energy
to see
itself

it sleeps
wry, the tide of meaning seeps
transpiring through erosion, til
the cracks reveal a secret,
hollow, in the highest hill
which scrapes the sky

through night and day which pass us by
within the blink of an eye
the howling of the wind in interim
un-winged beings wish to fly
sweeping dirt and dust and dusk and dawn
away into the emptiness
that claims itself as nought; abyss, 

it sleeps

the bidden meaning of the deep
eternal matriarch of heaven’s rays unfurling
only wakes to blink an eye
and see the world return to starlit sopor
light which shines beneath the mind
betraying souls against their mortal forms
it eats

it eats of liminal things,
of transience in space,
and whilst we race
unending to our deaths
til nothing’s left

it is consuming
of the moving
til inert
in stillness rests
it sleeps

for it knows
the dreams of life
to life bestow
in gestating below

the mind, aglowing
shall it grow
unto the flowing
and the overflow

I sought the answers of the soul
I pleaded God to make me whole
For years I searched, til I unearthed
A bright, delicate piece of worth

Cradled gently within my hand
Hoping greatly it would expand
Most precious thing on this green earth
A bright, delicate piece of worth

Sowed like a seed into the ground
To grow into something profound
My savior, object of my mirth
A bright, delicate piece of worth

What good is a sailboat in the r a g i n g ocean?

But            are the waves so violent?
        why

There
is light on the horizon

Yet
the waters
are clearly choppy
and aggressive


Dark
and full of emotion,


        r         i
     f   e   z     e
            n         d


The sailboat sits

                                                           ­                                               Off center

(Un)Earthly
in its

...stillness...

Amongst the rivalsome waters

It is pure white

Un touch ed
and

->unmoving<-

It
doesn’t care
about the state
of the ocean

And,
now that I think
about
it

There.
is no wind,
\either/

The sails are

still


The ocean is simply alive



                                  
And the boat is not floating

       suspended,
It is                    

hardly in   contact   with

the surface



It does not belong to the ocean



And the waters are my rage

Shots fired.
Casualty at 100%
Nothing is lost

Candid natural mutilation
View life from behind a fissure
See no truth that is not gain
Sacrifice null to the wisher

Those who fight for value
Corporeal nonetheless
Are made up to be heroes
And momentarily addressed

A cannon is an instrument
With blood the field fills
But who will be left standing
To write the final will?

I've sought endlessly for beauty in life

Seen it in questions and intricate weavings of their 

Puzzling, fragmented answers

Pieced together with words of silken gold

Or whatever the **** 


What the **** is silken gold to a word?

It sounds pretty


It could be argued to be

A delicate thing, so precious and thinning

Wrapped closely around itself

Building its tensile strength

Creating a thread which can hold the weight of woes


But did I ******* say that?

That's not what I was thinking at the time

It was just something to say

I don't really know how to express my emotions clearly

Everyone else seems to understand them, when I describe it

But to me it always comes off as nonsense


I'm jealous of the simple poets

Who write about what happened to them today

And actually get to cry about it


I don't

Maybe if I could, I'd understand what I'm feeling

But right now it just hurts to feel so alone

Having nobody who knows me

Just because I'm inept

What sort of trembling has become of me?

How could I fly the coop in distant memory,
and shade myself in anything
without a breath of deep, cold air?

Where should I sit when I’m alone,
if all this restless energy forever
makes me shake in discontent?

Where is the comfort in the fulcrum,
and the levity in slow eventual tiring?
Whose rock am I standing on?

What is nature to the trees?
What is ancient to the breeze?
What is movement to heat?

What is everything without the occasional stopping point?

Where does one line divide
the mind
from humankind?

What is holding me fast
against
my screeching in the night?

Why do I cry in silence
without ever letting loose
the deluge within my heart?

Why must the mind and soul,
the young and old,
the love and life
and hope,
all stand apart?

Who am I
without the world
to define me?

Where are those with whom
I may share
my hiding?

Go out and greet the universe
Meet your dreams in the middle
Surround yourself with passion
Light your world up, by stepping into the sun
Bask in the brilliance and splendor of daylight
Of sunshine, and warmth, and rising

For someone out there, you are standing on the horizon
Everything’s just over another hill
We’ll keep spinning around, even if we never move
So why not take those cycles, and turn them into spirals?
Why not greet our challenges as if they were our friends?

If we appreciate life, if we truly love it, we must accept that it loves us, too.
In that, we are bound to be a part of it.
So stop hiding yourself away in fear.
Once you expose yourself to destiny, you’ll be riding that wave straight to freedom.

Let love align with that light inside.
Everywhere is home, on Mother Earth.