there are a lot of sad things in the world to see
that melt the heart with hot tears
and
make the body to thrill of compassion.
for some of us, who can easily recognize
people who don't know how to live,
because all they do is to survive.
humans often forget about what is life about
the most common feeling is
not to be content of... life
and I can hear them say a lot
not enough
beautiful, skinny, rich, bold, fast, smart.
I get so tormented that I want to yell at them:
*do you know how to enjoy life?

today we count down
years since your first breath
so let's take a moment to recall it all.
              
                         ...

I've been whispering you
Happy Birthday
since ten years ago.

One decade seeing you grow
becoming the man you always
been wishing for.

Happy birthday my dear husband
and happy many years
together dancing.

I will continue to wake you up
in the middle of the night
to whisper softly
'Happy birthday Adrian!'

searching deep beneath and high above
for special little things in people to see,
to help understand the flows that are carried
in mind, or on shoulders, or in heavy walking
down the street,
it doesn't matter what is there,
we find only what we can recognize and what we need
since the first day to the last in our lives.

Pain is like a ******* bestfriend
always with me, no matter what.

take me!
on a ride we should go
secrets not to hide anymore but to spit them all
to whisper slowly in the cold night
when we stay embrace, face to face.
take me in a dream
to discover a new place for both
'cause we need to engage in life
like we never did before
what better way for me to watch your back
and you to watch mine.
we are worth fighting for, not tapping out anymore.
have a moment with me
tell me not what I want to hear
but what I need and I'll do the same for you.
chasing for an open space, with clear view
we should discover how is to love
and
maybe
how is to fall in love again.

take me again on that ride
make me to anticipate what pleasure is like
I know you won't go there,
yet
remember and show me what is foreign now to me
what I've forgot I crave so much
what safe and belonging is like.

It was your birthday
not long ago,
yesterday to make it clear,
and
I did not call
to sing the song
to wish you well
to say cheerful
'Happy birthday!'

I saw you too late
and maybe it's better this way
because
once you know, you can't unknow
that my mind screams to you
and my body screams for you
and
I hope that the dreams
about your lips
will never end
as well
as your laughter
that still resonates
in my eardrums.

things were new, now are old
it's part of this movement in entire world,
life beliefs, dreams or expectations,
are now cheerfully updating.
but what to ask for in this new year?
perhaps the same stuff, plus
a glimmer of wisdom
to understand more better and deeper
the next segment in our life.

to capture a few seconds
of my sophisticated sense of humor
is not actually a lost.
like when I simply say that sometimes
I get sick of feeling a tremendous fear
when I smile with hidden pain at someone
*who is half way to the death side.

Maybe we are like tall trees that are burst by the wind from all sides,
But because of those difficulties, they have grown deep roots underground.
Perhaps that’s the all point, to not bend too much until they break,
So they can survive multiple shots of pain.

it's about friendship
one of a few things mankind can accomplish.
I don't quite remember,
but with you was all clear from the beginning
relations are quite amazing.

I like seeing kilometers left behind
And smile at rear-view mirror from the left side,
pressing the gas pedal a little harder
to see in the dash board how my car is running faster.

Looking further on my left,
I see cars flying in opposite direction from me,
and it strikes me right away,
next year I'll be on that side of the highway.

I find it downright admirable
to read the thoughts of ordinary people
which may transpose letters on the sheet,
forming eternal words with magic meanings.
I tend to think there is a hidden power,
because some souls can be healed with good metaphors.

I find myself sitting on the bed,
in a quiet of grave,
staring at the empty bag
that lays in front of me
supposed to be already made.
I will let all here, behind.
This thought makes me smile more
Finally, I'm going home.

from the wisdom of an old woman
who had a sick husband shot in the chest
five centimeters to the east
so close to the heart, he even survived
The Second World War
had seven children
and a good but short life.

old face sunburned  and sweaty,
old soul full of memories that keep her
dream awake of what was
a lifetime ago she whispers slowly from nowhere.

sometimes I'm afraid of her power
but when she speaks I'm covered in emotions
I wish that all can be the same
like once upon a time
*today, tomorrow and every day.

Poems with power impact on life
Lyrics that bring a soul from land of the death
Courage with strength of iron shrouded in gold
And people still cry deep in the twilight.

Dawn is a curse when remember to go
At doctor for a white paper with black letters on,
Recipes written on mega speed
Others don't give a dime if you leave.

I forgive myself from being mean
I forgive you for shouting at me
Forgive and forget and happy move on,
Let the earth spin one more year around the sun.

my heart wants to understand and
be refound in what my mind reads.
a clarity of what happens in front of me
because is hard, and I get tired.
so tired of trying
and slowly I let go. becoming numb.
staying like that until I'll figure it out
to cry myself to sleep at night
to make rhymes in my head
with
this disease
how sick is that?
thought, I can still see "the forest"
but is not green. is grey to black.

pain of being away from a place called home
where mom can cook and listen to me how I will fulfill my dream.
my dream is my future
not
my future is a dream , inclined to think that now.
still, nothing happens and I'm here. thousands of kilometers away
in a foreign country where I miss hearing my language
even in a store,
and to spend a lazy Sunday with my friends and family.
I always feel like I don't have a balance
and I hear only with one ear
their language.
sometimes I get mentally tired.
the power of trying is wasted halfway to... nowhere.

what I could give in exchange here?
nothing can pay the comfort of home.
and I miss the thousands of people from home
because here are many and no one.

I want to say...
but not the words to be heard
maybe only my mind to be read
because I feel the need so deep
to scream out the secret I keep.

some things we learn from parents and siblings
other we develop ourselves during life exploration,
that's how I've come to know that
smart people know the difference between
kind and naive,
and
stupid people think that those two are one and the same.
but today I said it aloud
and they didn't understand.

when the end will come
I want the power to stay straight, unharmed.
to not feel sorry for my soul
to not be scary for the cold.

late in the night, remembering
to put my clock alarm, for the last time
to get up in the morning sun.
It will be the last day to think, to feel, to breathe.
there is no turning back
no point of retreat
who will know?
I will never see...

I hope I didn't get my life wrong
to wish for one minute at death's door
to redeem my former sins
to cry and beg  from my beginnings.

drinking tea and writing poetry
some to share
some only for my eyes to see
is not a passing breeze of freedom
rummaging through mind's corridors
to keep in check life reality,
is like pure blessing
if you ask me.

my heart asks about you, what should I say?
that you are miles away? In other world I might say
and yet still here, nowhere to reach me.
you are all the spring flowers on the hills
and the earth is breathing through you
only three months a year.
you are the clouds that pass in front of the sun
in a long day of summer time.
you are all the leafs that fall from trees
more in a day in autumn season than in all year.
you are the frozen snow under my boots
that whisper softly in my ears
little sister,
*I miss you too!

I was in the market place to buy eggs
and I saw him
a mentally ill old man begging for something.
the seller said to him...
                                            (what do you think?!)
the mentally ill old man started wallowing on the ground
and beg and beg and beg
in his incoherent of logic.
I was stunned.

when I was 5 I realized that my class mates
from kinder garden didn't listen to our teacher
and mock the others with and about anything
and I didn't understood why.
10 years later I realized that there are good girls and good boys
and also bad girls and bad boys.
I always choose the good ones, but
I secretly asked myself how are the bad ones.
after another 10 years... I know who they are.
they are people who can't understand a brother or a sister in pain.
they are incapable of love and acceptance.
who can guard with their life's
gues what? strawberries!
in a little **** market place.
the seller continue to do his job,
making abstraction of what just happened.

poor man he wanted a few strawberries.
A. give him money and the mentally ill old man started to cry
and I fought back the tears because
I didn't have the courage to let them free.

how awful of me to remember a ill human being
associated with one or two or three strawberries he wanted
to taste.

I got the feeling that
my all life revolves, without my attention
somewhere between yesterday and tomorrow.
the promise of having all forever
and get a full use of it snaps me out of numbness
and I finally can feel *today.

pain shows up differently.
manifests variously in each of us
highlighting
our personality
when we express suffering.

life is a climb and a descend
but you knew that since you've realized
how is to miss the taste of a candy
in your little mouth
or a mother / father full, normal hug.

we not choose what to get, we just receive,
and leave, move on
not complain. eventually, for what to do that?
we are all in the same position
**** situation.
war in Ukraine, war in Syria.
I'm gonna tell God everything
and my heart is broken
several times,
because, ****,
I can't forget the face of a dying child.

and oh, we must accept this
and if we don't? then what?
everything is a *****
hold on to me
why are you saying that to me?
I can't live like a princess
knowing that my siblings are dying so easily.

you
like all others,
will see me like others do.

being in the fog of unclear thoughts
while waiting for a calm moment for them to sit down
to put in hold this part of life, may be a good decision after all.
but there you came fast to me, full of your wicked **** grin,
and I'm not afraid of shaking my thoughts even harder,
while everything is going slower.

loving you at your best
is a happenstance of pure joy,
but if you ever consider to change
know that loving you at your worst
will be my best self destruction mode.

here we are standing
in a absolute time
were seconds seek minutes
are split seconds all we have?
and hours offers days
this makes me asking
about the current situation:
*are all lives dawn-to-dark?

you don't pay attention to me
empathizes with someone else
but not me.

I am a witness.
I don't want to be.

You are my friend, stay by me.
your mouth start moving
different sounds I can distinguish.

I see rivers that form slowly.
I see eyes glowing.
I see  tired genes
stick themselves until you blink.

the hurt, the pain, the guilt.
I take your hand and you squeeze.

I feel a paper in your palm,
unfold is a poetry
so I start to read:

                                      *I enjoy you like a rainy day
                                       whatever you do, I become delightful.

                                       I'm so glad that I have you.
                                       I'm glad that you smile and touch me
                                       I'm glad that you read and walk with me
                                       and I am glad you show me how you feel.

It was for him, you say to me.
you seem lost, I will not leave.

I wish I had as many words as tears
to describe the picture I have in mind,
is the same landscape, even the colors fade
or get more sharpen in other days.

I wish I could told you about the pain
I felt inside, because
my heart is still full of bruises
and bears the imprint of your fingers.

the disputes between lovers should be about
what colour the wallpaper is best to have,
not about what each other may conceal
wanting to quickly reveal.

when I'm seeing that your features are sad
I'm not allowed to ask why?
when you speak less in evening when you leave
I can't beg you to stay for a little bit.
I can't read you like a newspaper
but I know that,
there are some days when you're keeping all inside.

they both are out of clever things to say
and that's why she's left alone
like in a tremendous storm.

she's covering her face and looking away,
she smiles with lips but cries with small eyes,
she begs with shaky hands for a bear hug
and he's not realizing that she is slowly dying
every day in front of him.

or maybe he's doing the same.
I'm sorry my friend, but
some relationships are ending before
you realize it has been ended.

I'm indebted sold to you,
again, no more, no less.