another new day
brings forth hope and miracles
believe in yourself
19/9/2021

And now the real test begins,
sink or swim, pass or fail.
Well, it's not an exam in
the true sense of the word;
I won't receive a grade or
a score.

This is life,
at its grittiest, goriest,
glorious best.
This is death;
crawling closer with
every wheezing, and
scrawled stroke of
the pen.

I have plenty of nay-sayers,
and my God,
I wouldn't have it
any other way.
Every good drama
or piece of fiction, or
any ******* life worth
living needs strong
antagonists, and to mine
I say this:
sometimes, you have to
walk through the fire
to get to the other side.

I haven't been myself for some months now. I thought I could just push through this like I do everything else I cant. On March 2nd a person I use to consider a friend attempted to sexually assault me. I filed a police report because that is the first thing people who don't believe you ask. Go to hell. I went through this in 2016 and it was not just an attempt. I didn't fight hard enough for justice and another women became a victim. I know it's not my fault but it's hard to truly believe that. I don't want a repeat of that because as women there's so much harmful behavior men display that were just taught to brush under the rug as men just being aint ****. No it's predatory. I spoke with Officer Land from the 4th Precinct after calling them several times, having to relive that experience more times than my brain could handle, and even now no detective has contacted me. I'm not going through this again. I'm not staying silent and dealing with all this pain in silence anymore. I want repercussions for this man not understanding no, climbing on top of me and me having to hold my legs together for dear life to not be put back into a defiled state. My body can not handle anymore violence in the name of men being men. So if I can't get justice then the whole world can know who you really are because you crossed boundaries once and I believed you were just too incoherent but that naivety is gone. You're blocked on everything and calling me on a fake number threatening me with a lawyer. It's harassment and I'm exhausted. I've cried for help and it feels like nobody is really hearing me because everyone always expects me to get past it. If I don't bring it up it's not followed upon so I'm gonna advocate for myself and stand up for myself this time around openly and unapologetically.