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873 · Jul 2019
Homesick
arubybluebird Jul 2019
I'm homesick for a love I've never had.
867 · May 2018
I met the devil once
arubybluebird May 2018
He's a big Talking Heads fan.
867 · Jul 2013
the girl next door.
arubybluebird Jul 2013
red lips, pale skin, blue heart
darling, I can be your American dream.
865 · Jul 2013
positive tension .
arubybluebird Jul 2013
I want your nervous feelings
Every-time we say goodnight
I want your thoughts to linger beneath
The ivory blooming of my body
Just as death does the violet hymn
Give me your paranoia
Fixate on me with salty eyes
Turn to stone before me
With fingers placed between my thighs
This dark tunnel of a city
This diamond mouthful of a sky
Dance about like paper flowers
Wild and windblown
Upon the casket of our lives
Yet we're alive, more than we've ever been
With enough time
To kiss until our soft lips bleed
Perpetually lovely
Potentially futile
Tonight, you are the ocean
Tonight, I hit the tide
838 · May 2018
December
arubybluebird May 2018
I leave the window
half-creaked open

enough to block you out
enough to let you in
820 · Aug 2018
Messiah,
arubybluebird Aug 2018
I am humbled by my need of You.
810 · Jan 2019
This is Not a Poem
arubybluebird Jan 2019
Sometimes you just need a whole lot more of a little bit of cowbell,
ya feel me?
Queue: "Missing" by Everything But The Girl
799 · Mar 2016
Nameless Love
arubybluebird Mar 2016
I write to you not knowing who you are. I think about you everyday. I am in my evening humanities lecture hall listening to Joaquín Rodrigo's Second Movement of Concierto Aranjuez and I can feel my soul unraveling. I don't believe it is a calling for me to be a poet, but I can feel its presence instilled in the very core of my being. Poetry pulling at the chords of my lungs, accelerating my heart beat, causing me to breathe unsteadily. I believe in you. Eleven minutes and fourteen seconds is more than I could ask for, yet it will never be enough. I will never stop wanting, desiring. You're out there somewhere. My words are yours.
arubybluebird Jul 2013
Silver reverberating heart
You've out-grown me
Tonight
You out-run me
But I
Chase you still
I chase you still

Past the corridor of the city's dark slumber
Past the pleasures of the fixated ******

Your magnetism deteriorates my final inning

I'll go
s l o w

I'll go
sdrawkcab

Imperceptive to
Your stance
I'll slip to you
As the sun
To the horizon

Silver wretched,
Alongside the start of an early-morning
Your meek murmurs are
Visible,
Tangible,
Like sunlight from the window passing through a glass picture frame
That creates a spectrum across the steam rising above my coffee
Placed atop the kitchen table

Silvering wretched,
With your faint-cloudy-murmurs I agree,

The sea is the best place
To be
Wondrously
Free

I track you down,
Ever so desolately


Pale skin, blue bones
Renounced
Upon
Breeze
Reeling
Tides

Humble,
Dismissive,
Tr­anquil

My regard is not toward the thoughts you think
I intend not to dismay your delicate appeal

Silvering opulent,
Be lenient
Even if just for the sake of yourself

Tell me so
I want to know

Tell
me
how
you
feel

Reverberating silver heart,
Come, converse with me,

Give me your gossip
Tell me your stories

I
need
to
know
how
you
felt
767 · Sep 2016
Am I getting it wrong?
arubybluebird Sep 2016
Am I getting this wrong, again?
I just want you so bad
I just want you so bad
764 · Oct 2013
I'm so sorry .
arubybluebird Oct 2013
It's Wednesday. It's raining. I'm in my car at my schools parking lot listening to Beach House on one of my favourite college radio stations. My hands are going back to their pale colour (sign of autumns bloom.) I am wearing my favourite beige trench coat and my favourite noir beret. So many favourites, you being one of them. For once in what seems like a long time, I do not feel utterly discontent with myself. In fact, I feel quite good. I'm alright, Bryan. I'm alright, and so are you. I crave warm soup and hot green tea. I crave a metro ride to somewhere far, far away. I crave heart-felt embrace and mail packages with my name on them. My tights are starting to tear. I've always had this thing for beaten up things; books with loose-leaf pages, worn out t-shirts and sneakers, Ginsberg, Burroughs, Jack Kerouac. I like the spurs of sea shell rainbow that form in puddles on black concrete. They remind me of the ** Coexist album cover, as well as bits of recalled memories from my childhood. "Why do you come here? Why do you hang around? I'm so sorry. Why do you come here when you know it makes things hard for me?" Goodness, Morrissey in his Smiths days makes me feel so in tact with my youth. Black is such a cool colour. Cool is such a cool word.
Swim in a puddle with me, Bryan. We can leave our coats on if you'd like.
I want to be foolish with you. Be my autumn valentine.
February doesn't need to know we're here.
There's this boy, his name is Bryan.
He lives in Chicago, I live in California.
I write him letters that I'll probably never send.
753 · Oct 2018
But you were
arubybluebird Oct 2018
But you were a coward afterall.
750 · Jul 2017
My life lacks excitement
arubybluebird Jul 2017
I think I might take to eating more chile verde
or replace my mattress with a bed of sunflowers
or compose a poem using sopita de letras,
gluing every word on the refrigerator and kitchen counters
or learn how to play La Llorona on acoustic guitar,
and perform it at an open mic karaoke bar
in a distant town of people I don't know
or wear a white pillowcase over my head
and call myself a ghost
whisper all my secrets to strangers on the phone
or take a right turn instead of left
or climb a wall, or fall in love
arubybluebird Dec 2016
How to express the weighing
Tenderness in my heart for you

How to explain
My heart
That is losing its shape
And taking form of
A condition

Invisible and critical, demanding
How to make sense of this

Longing here, in the empty shelves of my rib cage
Where you stand before me
Our feverish hands so close to touching
But they do not touch

How to let it be known that
You are wearing down, softly
The parts of me I stregnthened most

Should I laugh about it?
This comely irony, my soul burning bright for you
On winter's coldest night

Tell me, how should I behave?
What façade should I turn to?
When this means more to me than I know it should

How should I conceal, love
The layers
Of you
That can be found in me?
746 · Jul 2013
turn off your mind
arubybluebird Jul 2013
and turn me on instead
the night is not as young as they say
our bones are a thousand years old
/
make poetry
of me
while our flesh is still juvenile
732 · Aug 2015
002: a feeling
arubybluebird Aug 2015
Listening to Arcade Fire’s Milk and Honey, I am slowly drowning in a sea of memories and melancholic images of things I’ve always wanted but will probably never have. My body soaked in bubbling foam, lying on the border of wet and dry sand, softly being kissed by a morning suns warmth after having been brought back to shore by the same waves that dragged me out
731 · Jul 2014
wild nothing
arubybluebird Jul 2014
I remember wanting to disappear
I remember not knowing what to write
Or how to feel

I remember wanting to be a whisper
And getting lost in the dark

I thought perhaps I'd be able to find solace
In the blur of Los Angeles karoake bars
I remember wanting to get lost
In its endless boulevards

I walked as though the moon
were trying to catch up with my feet
Breathing became difficult
I was merely a shadow

I came across a billboard that read "PARE DE SUFRIR"
A few blocks over proudly stood a church of scientology
I remember wanting to forget everything I had ever learned
About religion

Promises no longer moved me
Sincerity no longer moved me
I no longer desired the knowledge of restoring hope
I wanted to be moved

I remember wanting to be a hologram
So I could be at many places at once

I remember all the words running through my body
like a marathon
I remember feeling like the sound of a siren
echoing in the distance

I remember feeling so wild
I remember feeling like nothing
I remember inhaling the night
My paper lungs drenched in syrup

I remember not feeling like myself
I remember wanting to be somebody else

I remember
More than anything
Wanting
To be
725 · Mar 2015
Luna,
arubybluebird Mar 2015
You are the sun while I am asleep

You are the sun as I stand to my feet

You are the sun when my mind becomes dark

You are the sun
709 · Nov 2013
, , ,
arubybluebird Nov 2013
There is something intimate in the way you place commas in sentence.
It's as if each paragraph alone is a love letter within a love letter.
You say "Gladys, good morning. I love you."
And I sort of melt a little on the inside.
You say, "*******, Gladys. Never, never tell me that
what I feel for you is not love."
And I know it in my veins and in my mind,
which are more endearing than my heart,
that I love you, too.

I hope you can feel the sincerity in my commas.
692 · Oct 2013
s h i f t
arubybluebird Oct 2013
I just want to go to sleep
It's been a lifetime and I am restless
I often write your name repeatedly on paper (eric eric eric)
only to emphasize to myself that my longing for you is real
I remember the first time I fell in-love with you
The cuts and bruises on my skin make it difficult to forget
These words aren't coming out as sweetly as I intended
I want the vertebrae of my voice to make you feel at ease
So I'll keep quiet and let you speak
come and go, passing cars, change of season - - -
How much farther, dear?
The college-ruled lines in your eyes warn me it's too soon
Yet with so much time to waste, can I waste some time with you?
Yes, I'd love to waste it again
I'll take you afar to dimensions of unknown pleasures, if you let me
The moon itself is a possibility
10 : 11 PM
Both falling so tediously
                    upon the mattress of my mind
Sleep immune, volume mute
          Tonight, your blood flows through my veins
Tonight, the heat of sun on your soft skin
Shifts to meet my own
I **** the nectar off of your lips
You pluck the petals off of my skin
Both falling so tediously
                           upon the mattress of your bedroom
Risen light, morning furor
Today, my blood flows through your veins
Today, I've rearranged the bones in my back
To meet your own
       To love you less
                   To watch you go
                                     *Perpetual shift
676 · Mar 2019
lately, simply put
arubybluebird Mar 2019
I'm angry
I'm tired
I'm sad
I hurt
676 · Dec 2016
Goshen
arubybluebird Dec 2016
is it possible to spend your whole life fighting love
fighting for love
here I am and there you are
fighting for and fighting against
chasing a moment a sentence a feeling
is it possible to spend your whole life
determined to making it work
and is it enough? is it ever enough?
is it more than you could ever wrap your heart around?
is it possible to spend your whole life worried
of possibilities, whether or not these things will come
will I ever find a place to lie my worrying head
in the form of a lovers lap, corduroy pants on an autumn's day
is it possible to spend your whole life searching
is it possible to spend your whole life hiding
I've not a million lives but one
Love, where is my one?
675 · Jul 2013
pretty woman .
arubybluebird Jul 2013
I'm sick of all the things my money can buy
Your long damp hair, your dreamy eyes
If we're all free to live a last time,
I'd off and cage me to the ripe rye

Broken bones and frozen limbs,
My little problem's just begun
To solve you, sadly beautiful,
Free to go, and go and love
Exposed in depth to fields of lust

Wreck loathing lungs
Inhale the length of you
Your full ivory ******* valiantly read :
Light me up, again and again
Light me up like a cigarette
Inhale. Exhale. Light me up,
Exhale the satisfaction

A taunting drag
A wayward distraction

Sooner than we know
Warm dew blossoms
Imbue the night of
Frailty rapture

Arching backs
Gliding hands
Swaying hips
Bending knees

Porcelain ashtray placed beside the bed
Preserve the words left to be fled

Cenicero, mi cenicero
Tu corazon, mi cenicero
You were alone before we met
No more forlorn than one could get
How sinister and how correct


Through foggy haze
I ruminate and sigh,
I'm sick of all the things my money can buy .
mini ode to Placebo's : Ashtray Heart .
674 · Jul 2013
- - -
arubybluebird Jul 2013
everything fades
it's just you and your thoughts again
fighting with the echoes of the mistakes you cannot erase
weeping over memories that you cannot forget
        everything fades
it's just you and me and the words we cannot bring ourselves to say
mentiras mentiras, amor, mil mentiras
my body melts under the heat of your nervous glance
I am putty in your sinister hands and
         everything fades to your favor
you've always wanted to be mine
yet I am merely my own
everything everything
               everything fades
it's just me and my thoughts
and the echoes off shadows of your image in my mind
again
tonight and
forever.
                    everything fades but you.
672 · Apr 2014
melrose ,
arubybluebird Apr 2014
I need you to love me like I'm wounded
In the darkness of my insecurities
hold me, kiss me, touch me,
fill my hollow organs with the shadows of your light.
667 · Apr 2018
Last note for H
arubybluebird Apr 2018
I wonder if the flowers can sense how sad I am? I prefer they didn't know. I hadn't realized how common your name is until I heard it called twice today. I was caught off guard and both times stung my heart. He was a little boy, with a head full of brown hair similar to yours. I wondered if he'll go on to taint women's hearts when he's older as you have. I hoped a small prayer he won't. That he'll be better, that there will be a lightness to his name that brings comfort to the heart of the woman who loves him.
666 · Jul 2015
sabado
arubybluebird Jul 2015
I like things that make me sad
I don't think I'll ever not be late
I'm trying to figure out a way to think outside of myself
I'm so limited within this unconditional heart
I'm trying to figure out a way to think inside of you
Lift my body from your bed, and leave my soul tucked in to rest
662 · Oct 2014
vomit
arubybluebird Oct 2014
sad, again
but a calm sad
accepting
viable
livable

I'm scared to start liking you
things never really work out in my favor
when I most want them to
I don't want you to be one of those things

you are a person and you are so lovely
I am a person and I am so vulnerable

I don't want to kiss you or hold your hand
I don't want to know that you're better off without me

all I want is for you to sit across from me
all I want to do is talk with you
until night and day become one

we can resume our different lives
in sepearte ways
thereafter

indifferent, again
but an attentive indifference
subtle
perpetual
liking you in spite of fear
657 · Aug 2013
because . . .
arubybluebird Aug 2013
I'd rather lose my
virginity
than lose my
              compassion .

*at what age did you lose your compassion ?
arubybluebird Sep 2013
Autumn, you do something to me.
You lighten up my heart and fill me with melancholy all the same.
You bring out my inner-romantic, and also remind me of my being alone.
Yet, you're my favourite. Always have been, and will always be.
If I could be a season, I'd only hope to be as lovely as you.
Let's take a midnight train ride to some place I haven't been to yet,
somewhere far away from here. Just you and I,
and a thermo filled with warm tea, a woven blanket,
a book of collected poetry, a few blank notepads
and the stillness of forgotten summer memories.
648 · Jan 2015
Hood
arubybluebird Jan 2015
I am going to pretend
That I have never heard what you are telling me
That way you aren't telling me
Something I already know

Last night I wept for you on the A train
Melodramatically, in my mind

You were holding her hand
Pressing her sadness against your baked skin
So that she might feel a little better
And oh, how she did

How you made her forget
If even for a little while
The image of his eyes from her mind
By looking into yours

But I can still see it through mine
And her
And you
And him
And these words

Betray me
Run me over
Make me sick
647 · Nov 2013
the quiet front
arubybluebird Nov 2013
Is the moon dead
or is she alive
or is she, said moon, really a man
and does he have hands
and does she have teeth
and do they wonder
as they look down
what kind of star I am
if I am even a star at all
perhaps I am a meteoroid
I seem to be small enough
or perhaps I am a comet
pale, cold, and *****
constantly shying away from the sun
leftover from the beginning of time
~ ~ ~
Dear Cascabelera,
I am writing to you because
I've grown lazy in my heart
less patient in my mind
and my eyes, wide and salty as the sea,
foam with fear of depths

As you stand there, brilliant and luminous in all your ways
I lay here faithfully underneath you
as I have for the past twenty-one years
there is no greater devotion than ours, I know

Yet as I lay here, still,
underneath your gloaming
with nothing to feel
and no one to hold
but my sadness
I cannot help but wonder
are you dead
are you alive
are you here by choice
have you any tears to cry?

Cascabelera,
I want to embrace you sweetly in the early morning
lunita, lunera
I want you to lay with me in the dark
642 · Jul 2013
thief in the night .
arubybluebird Jul 2013
It was in that night /
The night we lied in that vacant parking lot a few miles away from town
Just you and I, and the half-a-moon and glistening stars above us
Everything still, so still
Everything rapid, never-resting
Just you and I, arm length to arm length,
You and I, two straight lines in a crooked world

I wondered aloud:
What do stars think of us whenever they glance down?
And you replied, lovely and ever desolately:
They wonder what we think of them whenever we glance up

It was in that night /

I sought you
I knew you
You burnt through
The college-ruled lines of my delicate paper skin

I was so young then
I could have known better
I could have a lot of things
You could have been a boy

Do I miss you?
It could be
I’m too ******-up to process thoughts thoroughly
People fall in-love much too easily
The look in your eyes is all too promising

There was a place and time of
Beckoned curiosity, loss of dignity
Tainted sanity, your fingers inside of me

In and out, out and in
The pale of my limbs
Past the garden and villas of my soul
Through the thick of my skull
In and out, out and in
The beating of my lukewarm heart

There was a night when
We let love in
For the first time

From that moment on
We could never be the same
For your fault, I’d take the blame
You’d soon despise me all the same

The presence of your memory
Abandoned in my mind

It was in that night.
639 · Jul 2014
soon, my friend
arubybluebird Jul 2014
I fidget because the look in your eyes is smoldering. And quite frankly, I want to know what it is in your life that brings you fear the most. I like boys who use precise diction and say "I love you" to their mother at the end of a phone-call, especially when they repeat themselves four times to make sure she's heard. My guilty pleasures consist of reading books that I should not be reading. I am dissatisfied with my able to be reached yet so far away dreams. I dream more during the day than I do at night. It is too late, I am already in-love with you, Tom Waits. I am the most un-punctual person you'll ever meet. I am the worst at texting back, replying to e-mails and answering phone calls. Social communication is not my thing. I'll write you twenty-three poems if you ask me to. I treat myself to Starbucks more than I should. I worked hard for this four dollars and eighty-five cents cup of joe, I ****** well deserve it. I ****** well am a mess. I find comfort in oblivion. Do you ever cry just to feel the mystery of liquid on your skin? Do you ever bleed just to make sure that your body is alive? Do you know just how sad you truly are? Do you know that you're the loveliest mind I've encountered by far? I hope, I hope you do. Oh, but it's better if you don't.
632 · Dec 2013
rookie
arubybluebird Dec 2013
I cannot tell if I am alive or just breathing
You are a lie I choose to believe in
I am worried love may just be something my soul needs
I shouldn't have drank that last cup of coffee
I should have kissed you longer while I had the chance
But if choice could choose not to choose
But if sound could mute without losing its sound
But if it weren't a ******* shame that you're not here with me
Perhaps then I'd be able to tell
You are a truth I refuse to except
Maybe I'm living for the small things
I'll never know how to love you enough
Perhaps I should appreciate the cold side of my pillow
Maybe I'm just desperate
Maybe I'm just tired
Maybe I've been alone
                                  with the entire universe inside of me
                   for far too long
Maybe I just miss you
I miss you
I miss you
I miss you
               I can't

I cannot tell if this is a poem or a feeling
I don't want to know if you ever hope to see me
I still love you are the cruelest words in the world
Darling, I never meant to lie
630 · Jul 2013
lost and found .
arubybluebird Jul 2013
sometimes it’s necessary to get rid of the old shoe boxes along with the sepia toned photographs and rubber band held stacks of folded letters stored within them. The old ballad, the old familiar places, the old desires, the tainted dreams. The image of that young familiar face so deeply engraved inside of your eyelids, in the back of your mind--and those rosy lips that once spoke to you ever so sweetly. Those rosy lips that made you tremble, took you to a height of heaven--those rosy lips that made you cry. Some things are irreplaceable, such as that one autumn night of 09’ and that one early morning phone call of some day that you’d rather leave unknown. And you may never forget, and you may always remember. And those feelings may or may not fade away. And you may just come across something better, cause you know ******* well you deserve better. And you’ll go on to live, and you’ll go on to die, and the world will spin madly on and the jigsaw puzzle will fall into place-- just as you held his hand, just as you said hello, just as you kissed goodnight, just as you walked arm in arm. There will, there was, there is, and there is not. And it may never be enough, never as that time you both lied conspicuously on the ground counting raindrops in shared silence. And it may just be pointless, and this may just be a step of defeat, and you may day after day remain clueless. You may just figure it all out. Whether it matter or it doesn't---sometimes it’s just necessary to get rid of the old shoe boxes along with the sepia toned doubts and rubber band held stack of wasted emotions stored within them.
625 · Dec 2015
dream 001
arubybluebird Dec 2015
We are in the front seats of your mustard yellow Subaru. This used to be your father's car when he was a college student in the 70's. It's strange how timing, location, and decisions changes everything. If your mother would have never left Savannah for Berkeley, or if your father would have left Berkeley for Kansas State, it would still be 11:45 on a Friday night but we would not be here. But here we are, in the Starbucks parking lot, my head leaning on your shoulder, your hand resting on my knee. "I'm glad I didn't die before I met you," I whisper. "I could go anywhere with you and I'd probably be happy," you respond as First Day of My Life fades into the background, luring our eyes to close. Sitting in these front seats, in the future looking back, I know that this is where I belong, they belonged, you belong, we belong.
601 · Jan 2019
Valentine,
arubybluebird Jan 2019
What good are you for if you don’t sit and listen to The Antlers with me? Holding my hand soft and sweet as I observe all the people and flowers and low-lights surrounding us while I cry. Valentine, make yourself useful this year. Valentine, be mine.
600 · Jul 2013
5 4 0
arubybluebird Jul 2013
you always hurt the one you love /
clutch your fists, my body craves for your touch
slam your tongue deep in my mouth/ deprive my lungs from breathing
slam my head into the pavement / distort my pastel point of view
color me in misery/ lips stained red/ knees blue-green
skin the sun within my eyes / obscure the light in me
drag my heart across fields of daggers / leave it out to bleed
discard the poetry within me / theive me of my sanity
I offer my skin to you like a prayer in the night
For love, my love, it demands to be felt / And
I need to know that my pain for you is real
arubybluebird Aug 2016
Memory 1:
Cutting oranges off their stems and eating them underneath cherry blossom trees post-rain and post-picket sign protest in Sacramento with Steff.

Memory 2:
Night time, FYF VIP area, sharing a scarf to sit on. slice of veggie pizza, Denisse telling me about her dad, how a beat-down truck with working men made her think of him as she was driving on the 210 the other day. how it moved her so much she ended up pulling over on the side of the road to cry. String of dim lights overhead, Air's Playground Love assimilating in the background of the momentum we've just shared.

Memory 3:
Fourth of July, Navajo woven blankets, lying down faced up arms lazily stretched out in the back of Tia Irene's pick-up truck. talking about how scary it is growing up and how much we fear God. you've decided you no longer want to be a news reporter. I tell you you'll be successful in whatever it is you end up doing. All the while sparks of reds, purple, green, pinks, blues fill the sky in slow, steady twirls all around us.

Memory 4:
Valentine's Day, car parked a few minutes away from where we're walking to. An empty construction site with a view that overlooks our city. you set down the box of pizza, take off your backpack, set out a blanket, a candle, two glass cups rolled up in San Bernardino Sun, a bottle of wine. Tell me to dig in, I pull up the lid, it's shaped like a heart. You didn't realize the wine had a cork, try pulling it off with your teeth. We forget the wine, play The Doors from your cellphone instead, they've finally been added to Spotify, we comment on this. Lying next to each other, my neck cradled in your arm, the warmth of your skin transcends from the wool of your shirt. A shooting star passes the auburn sky like lightning, said you missed it, had your eyes closed. I close mine shortly after, too.

Memory 5:
Everyone is huddled in the living room, a serenade of whispering and sssh she's coming. Tio Frank and Dad have the wheelchair turned around, your back facing us as you enter the door. They move you down the steep of the entrance, you look up, Las Mañanitas starts to play from the stereo, welcome home! You cradle your head in your hands and begin to cry. We reach out to hold you, crying, too.
588 · Jan 2016
First note for H
arubybluebird Jan 2016
I have a customer at work who is turning 91 on Valentines day. Her name is Ann, she doesn't believe in using cellphones, and she has the clearest blue eyes I think I've ever seen. I'm not sure why little details like this stick with me, a sticky note of sort attached to my brain and heart. Sometimes I'm scared of these little details, of learning too much about a person. It scares me to know that these details that make me so fond of a person will be the same details to sting my heart the most if ever the day comes in which that person is no longer around. little ghosts found everywhere, little ghosts that remind me when I'm trying to forget, little ghosts that effortlessly and casually whisper in my ear and tug at my heart. We've been learning more about each other lately. Slowly, gradually, quite deliberately, now that I think of it, we've been taking our time, careful not to reveal too much, but anxious, anxious to learn as much about each other as we can. The thought of everything I've learned about you so far makes my heart swell. This, too, terrifies me. Yet I want more of you. These things can be difficult to make sense of, and there is this part of me that doesn't wish to understand. Devendra Banhart's lyrics echo in the open spaces between my bones and blood vessels, insisting, pleading for you to *please destroy me, please destroy me, please destroy me
arubybluebird Oct 2018
It must mean that I liked it here.
584 · Dec 2015
25 Diciembre
arubybluebird Dec 2015
En la madrugada
Existe dios

Y como yo
Llora  por un amor
Que debería haber sido
Y nunca lo será
584 · Aug 2018
Untitled
arubybluebird Aug 2018
To dream of you and be okay for this night
581 · Mar 2019
Some days
arubybluebird Mar 2019
Some days I feel like crying more than other days.
Some days I wish I was twenty-four again.
576 · Jul 2013
you're so romantic
arubybluebird Jul 2013
and I am so jealous

- - -

It is Sunday night / technically Monday morning
I've been listening to Billie Holiday's Just A Matter of Time for the past two days
I am repeating similar meaning in different ways
you're somewhere out there right now
away from my arms, away from me
yes, I'm losing all sanity at 2 17 a m

darling, love
go steady.
576 · Aug 2013
Sleepless in Chicago
arubybluebird Aug 2013
I wish I were a glass ashtray
In some abandoned
Cheap hotel room.
I wish you still loved me.

I wish you'd never kissed her
I wish to never have met you
I wish to forget you.

Sleepless in Chicago, again
Wishing I weren't.
you could have been
dreaming strange dreams
with me

you could have prevented
this ridicule of a wasted, wishing heart

you've torn me apart for the last time
you're no longer the rest I seek.
573 · Oct 2013
Untitled
arubybluebird Oct 2013
I feel as though I am drowning in a song with no sound
Faceless voices echo the anxiety reflected on my keyboard
The mirrored image in your midnight gaze is that of my own
After life, oh my god, what an awful word
You should have held my hand
You should have kissed my *******
You should have busted my lip raw and tender
Perhaps then would spill the poetry lost and forlorn inside of me
Inside of me, you want within?
Your ears pressed softly against my chest
My thighs pressed tight against your hips
Mezzo forte, pianissimo, fortissimo
....

*Do you want to step outside, or do you want it right ?
I don't know just what I feel, but I feel it all tonight .
564 · Dec 2016
Take these scissors
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