This painful
Wondering
Are my assumptions correct
Of his actions
Oh God
If he did
What is
The world coming to and
Why
Does it bother me?

He's not mine.
That's a fact and I
Can't complain but I felt like
I might
Void the
Contents of my stomach
Brilliant pain
Of food exiting the way it entered
Searing me

He is not mine
But if he had been
Maybe
It could be okay
And I wouldn't
Night before 1 of my 2 days
Would be spent
In formal wear
With strangers
Arguing
Be feeling the urge
To make crimson flower
From my hips, thighs, stomach.

WANTED**
Girl
/
Woman
Seeking
Attractive
Funnyinteresting
Sweet
Human
Between the ages of
17
And
25.
Must enjoy
Washing dishes
And see it
As a form of reflection
Not a
Chore.
Girl/Woman
Enjoys baking
Roasting
Cooking
But not dishes.
Food provided.
Cuddler preferred.
Inquire at her heart
With soft words
And gentle glances.

Oh God
You have said
Those 3 words I so wanted to hear
And now I know
I can't live without them.

They've given me the confidence
To be myself
To maybe
Almost
Love myself
I don't know if you can see
The change in my stance
The smile in my eyes
And you make me feel
Like I could be
Beautiful.

Oh
How I wish
I could rend Time asunder
And take
That first sweet
Fruit of your lips
That kiss
You gave
To her.

I don't know her name
Why you liked
Or loved
Her
But I know
She
Was worth a poem
And I
Have never been worth
A
Single
Word.

I
Have nothing
To offer
In exchange
For that which you have to give
For your virginity
You still possess
And I
Have naught
To offer
But
My heart
Which rests
In
TattersWithPatches
In the milky cage
Of ribs and flesh
I have so little to give
To the perfection
Which you
Embody

I'm broken
In the face of
Your
Softwholesweetness
And I want to be
Your slender
Elven
Queen
I want to be anything
Or everything
I can't stand the pain
Of anyone else
Catching your fancy
I can't stand
That she saw
The sacred beauty
Of your flushed cheeks
Oh God
I need you now
Like a seedling needs the kiss of the sun
Like a babe needs mother's caress
Just please hold me
And pretend
I'm all you could want.

I hadn't realized
The aching emptiness
He left
In my Life
Until the knock came
On the Front
Door.

The comfort
Of him existing
Was enough
It was
So much
Because I
Didn't have to worry.

He's never needed
Me to hold him close
To make things okay
Though if he does
He knows
Where
I am.
I will not
Deny him
And, in truth,
Hope the day comes
When he asks.

It doesn't hurt
That I can't
Have
Him, I suppose
Though it can't be denied
I do remember
The softness
Of
Those lips.

I need the comfort
Of knowing
He exists
More Often.