Hindi mo ba alam na ako'y nasasaktan,

Sapagkat hindi ko makalimutan ang mga pinagdaanan,

Palimos naman ng pagtingin mo,

Bigyan mo ako kahit na kapiraso.

Ni minsa'y hindi mo tinanong kung ano ang lagay ko,
Pagkaing mga niluto mo ay hindi mo hinahain sa harap ko,

Lumaki akong may hinanakit sa buong mundo,

Kung tutuusin, itong lahat ay kasalanan mo.

Kung minahal mo lang sana ako at tinanggap,

Hindi ka na sana nahihirapang magpanggap,

Sa ibang tao kapag ika'y nakaharap,

Walang bakas ng kahit na anong pangyayaring masaklap.

Ang tanong ko palagi'y bakit binuhay mo pa ako?
Gayong palagi mo namang ipinadarama na hindi mo ako ginusto,

Kahit anong galing, kahit na anong pagbida ang gawin,

Pipikit ka upang hindi mo ako mapansin.

Hindi mauubos ang aking mga bakit,

Dahil sa kabila ng lahat ay mahal kita kahit na anong sakit,

Sa aki'y ipukol mo ang lahat ng iyong galit,

Sasaluhin ko ang hinaing sa mundo **** mapait.

Gusto kong ibigay sa'yo ang buong mundo,

Halagang isang milyon ang tanong kung paano,
Nakakatawang tingnan kung iaalay ko ang iyong buong pagkatao,

Sa iyo mismo, dahil ikaw ang mundo ko.

Wika mo'y linyang sinabi ko ay gasgas na,

Sagot ko pabalik ay iba ako sa kanila,

Pagkat kasiyahan at mundo ko'y ikaw,

Magagawa ko na lamang ay lalong pagliwanagin ang iyong ilaw.

Ikaw para sa akin ang araw, buwan at mga bituin,

Kapag nawala ka'y tuluyang magdidilim ang aking paningin,

Hindi makakabangon, paa'y waring nakabaon,

Sa isang kumunoy na tatawagin kong kahapon.

Mundo pala'y hindi ko maiaalay sa iyo,

Ikaw at ang mundo ay iisa at iyan ang totoo,

Ang magagawa ko lamang ay ingatan ka at mahalin ng tapat,

Wala nang ngunit, subalit at datapwat.

How many sticks have I lit so far?

All I know is that my lungs are all but char,

Killing myself slowly,

Tampering my longevity.

What a filthy habit of mine this is,
It’s like having a taste of a hot coal’s kiss,

Burnt and ruined my palettes are,

The smoke I exhale is dark as tar.

Why do I smoke, you dare to ask,

Well in gloom I learned not to bask,

I smoke because I want to die,

You’re in for a treat if you’d ask me, “why?”

For I have demons that I’m trying to ****,

Also parts of me that tries and bend my will,

Can’t blame me for wanting to die,

I’m just to fed up always having to cry,

The tears can’t seem to wash the pain away,

It can barely keep the monsters at bay,

So if you will, let me smoke in peace,

Little by little, I taste death’s cold kiss.

Tatakpan ko ang aking mata,

Upang katotohana'y hindi makita,

Saki'y wala ka na,

Tumakbo ka papunta sa iba,

Pilit kitang hinabol,

Ngunit walang napala hanggang sa mahapo,

Ang liwanag nang kahapon,

Bigla na lang naglaho,

Pirmeng nakatingin sa lupa kung may bakas ba,
Ngunit sa kapal ng dilim mistulang bulag na.

Nasasaktan ngunit kailangang manahimik,

Para bang sa lalamunan ko'y malalim na tinik,

Takpan ng ngiti ang pait,

Tanggapin kahit na sobrang sakit,

Kahit ano namang sigaw ang ipilit,

Hindi mo rin naman maririnig,

Himutik ng puso ay patatahanin ko,

Mananatili na lamang pipi upang hindi na makagambala pa sa'yo.

Minsan kong narinig sa mula sa iyong bibig,

Mga salitang nagbigay ng ngiti na hindi madadaig,

Hindi mapapantayan ng kahit na sino man,

Ngunit nang lumisan ka noon ko natutunan,

Ang mundo ko'y tumahimik,

Wala ni kahit anong imik,

Hindi parin mapakali pero nangungulila sa'yong halik,

Haplos at yakap mo'y di na madadama pa,

Labis na katahimikan mistulang bingi na.

Your words gave me open wounds that are incapable of healing..

The moment you said, "I have no feelings for you," cuts right through my very soul. It leaves an opening through my shallow being welcoming the next words you are about to bestow.

"You are not just my type," it's like raging bolts of electricity running through my body and I can't move, I can't even raise a finger to tell you to stop.. Please, stop this bleeding.

I was about to regain control of my senses but you added, "we can still be friends though," that it's as if nothing happened. Like my feelings never happened, like you never listened, like you didn't cut me open, like you didn't have me bleeding to death, like you never throw me daggers in form of words.

And you asked, for the first time, "are you okay?" I gathered all my strength to forestall my voice from breaking as I retorted, "I'm good." I bit my lip the moment my mouth turns like a time bomb that's a few seconds away from explosion and I'm victorious.

The words "it just hurts a lot," didn't escape from my mouth averting myself from going to the place you've given me. Say, friendzone?

I watched you walked away realizing you actually helped me by closing off the arteries of my wounds by giving me a cold treatment.

I mouthed, "thank you," but you didn't see it. Thank you for releasing my favorite demon, hatred..

..this way, I will prevent myself from massive destruction that is yearning to make me feel something good, something vibrant, something lighthearted.. Say, like love?

Thank you for leaving me wounds that covers my body, and soon enough it will be scars that will remind me of how painful it is to make someone look at you the exact same way you're looking at them. Confucius quote, "there is one word which may serve as a rule of practice for all one's life: Reciprocity."

..But reciprocity is not a decree.