Sinerita

Sinerita Sep 2020

I'm so sorry
For all the horrible things I've done
For letting people down
For wasting time
For being sorry
For not giving in sooner
For caring what people think
For letting them hurt me
For being far away

I regret not meeting you sooner
I regret pushing you away at first
I regret being scared in the beginning
I regret not telling you my feelings sooner

I'm not sorry for meeting you
I regret nothing about you

Sep 2020

Mikey

full of a sort of love

i speak.
the clouds that once fill my lungs seeping out with every breath, as you refill them with daisies.
the pain i once felt in the bottom of my stomach, washed away with words that roll of your tongue.
its a never ending cycle of healing,
through softy spoken words soaked in sweat,
through the ever so gentle touch of your lips,
through the way your love fills me to the very brim.
although i am broken, i can slowly feel my pieces come together when im with you.

Sinerita Sep 2020

The Truth

You have a beautiful smile,
A beautiful soul,
A beautiful mind,
These are things I love about you.

You are flawed,
Have scars,
Have fears,
And I love them too.

You hide from me,
From the world,
From yourself.
And I can still love you for that.

You can withdraw all you want,
I can see through it.
I'll still love you.

Sinerita Sep 2020

2AM

It's 2AM,
And I wake from a nightmare,
Then I realise,
It's not a dream.

It's 2AM,
The shadows dancing on the ceiling,
Reaching for you,
Nothing but emptiness.

It's 2AM,
And I lay remembering,
How we laughed,
Until we couldn't breathe.

It's 2AM,
I turn and stare at the wall,
Wishing I could see your back,
And kiss it like I did that morning.

It's 2AM,
And I remember,
The way I made love to you,
That rainy Wednesday.

It's 2AM,
I lie here wondering,
What I could do,
To keep you close.

It's 2AM,
I ponder through thick eyes,
How I can change,
So people won't leave me.

It's 2AM,
I have conversations,
With you,
But only in my mind.

It's 2AM,
I lay wondering,
Where I fit into your life,
And what you feel.

It's 2AM,
And then its not.
Nothing stays the same,
Not even the time.

Sinerita Sep 2020

Youll never know

You say you are flawed,
You say you are broken.
To me, you are perfect.

I say I am flawed,
I say I am broken,
To you, I’m a goddess.

I’ll spend the next 60 years,
Telling you how beautiful you are.
Even if I write you a million letters,
You’ll never understand what you mean to me.

Every word I write, and wrote, comes from my small little heart. Te quiero.

Sinerita Sep 2020

Wishes

Missing you,
Is the hardest thing,
That's come across my path.

First its like a dull headache,
Deep within my silly old head.
Then it moves down to my chest,
Where it burns.

My every bone, cell and fibre,
Wishes for you to be close.
Wishes to snuzzle my head into your neck.
Wishes to hear your voice.
Wishes to hold your hand.
Wishes to feel your breath on my skin.
Wishes to see your smile.
Wishes to talk for hours.
Wishes to sing to you.
Wishes to eat dinner with you.
Wishes to walk to our tree.
Wishes to hear you call be a 'nana' again.
Wishes to try and cook for you.
Wishes to do laundry with you.
Wishes to watch telly with you.
Wishes to watch you sleep.
Wishes to make you laugh about snatches.
Wishes to watch you frown when thinking.
Wishes to feel your arms slide around me.
Wishes to be at ease in your company.

The wishes just hurt.
My tears hurt.
My heart hurt.
Everything hurts.

My world isn't the same without you.
My world is poorer without you.
I stare at my arm.
My dedication to you.
It hurts.

Feeling this powerless,
Hurt.
I can't change the situation.
I can't stop time.
I can't take away your pain.
Your fears.
Your anxiety.

So I just sit here,
Watching the rain fall.
Remembering heaven.
And it hurts.

Sinerita Sep 2020

Gentle on my mind

Forever you'll be.

As the lyrics roll through my mind.
So do memories of you, when I hear that song.

My door will always be open to you.
I hope your path goes past it.

Forever you'll be.
Even when my arms are longing,
Longing for your embrace.

Forever I'll remember.
How we danced.
In the back.
That evening.
To the song.

Forever you'll be.
Ever gentle on my mind.

Inspired by Glen Campbell - Gentle on my mind