During all of the trials and tribulations
God was always standing close to me.
Even in the darkness of all those days
He shined His light for me to see.

He created me because He knew that
I would always need His help.
He created a bridge over the troubled
waters to protect my every step.

He provided constant shelter on all the
days when I felt cold.
He waves His hands in mysterious ways
to bring a new fire into my soul.

How could anybody deny all of the good
that He has done.
For if there is someone for us to count on
then Jesus is the one.

He has no guilt about what He does for
the likes of me and you.
For Jesus is the one and only whose has
a love for us that's genuine and true.

Current events keeps clashing
with the events of the pass
Leaving me broken and sad
shattered inside like broken glass

A voice keeps saying to me
you know right from wrong
Giving me a clear path to the
keys and melody of Jesus song

Surrounded and tormented by
nothing but darkness and pain
That's a lot of weight for one man
carrying such guilt and shame

Praying to listen and learn how
to pick up my bags to move on
I've decided to climb the tallest
mountain to hear Jesus song

When I really think about it all
there's really no better choice
How cool would it be for a man
standing to hear His sweet voice

I'm asking for forgiveness and a
prayer to keep growing strong
It's time to leave the pass behind
to live by the words of Jesus song

Jesus woke me up at 1:30 a.m.
He told me to tell you that
there are some people that
you just can't please.

No matter what we need or
what ask for, we want miracles
and we want them now, and
yet we all have a desire but
we refuse and forget to get
down on our knees in prayer.

Jesus, I want this and I want
that, we want Him to make
a mountain of treasures for
us, sometimes we use and
we're most likely to abuse.

Jesus has a pure and clean
heart and He's a very willing
and cheerful giver, all He ask
is that we kneel down to Him
and pray for it's an easy task.

Some of us won't get to
share all of His mercy and
His glory. Jesus wants us to
know that we can all contact
Him anytime and believing
His incredible bible story.

He doesn't want to be the
only one working fulfilling
our daily needs, we need to
show Him some humility by
falling to our knees in prayer.

How can I love thy neighbor
if I hate his guts.
Why should I tolerate people
who drive me nuts.

Why try to please someone if
I'm not in love.
How can I find a star at night
if I don't look at the sky above.

How can I find a job if I really
don't look.
Why should I care to read mess
that's all over facebook.

Why should I keep backing a
losing sports team.
How could I make reality of a
long lost dream.

How can I find myself if I'm
always loss.
Why should I buy anything if
I can't afford the cost.

Quiet and peacefully she slept,
in my arms an angel felt safe
A new addition to add to my
name she's called Laila.

3:21 in the morning she came
while I waited in my sleep
To welcome her in my old
granddaddy like way.

When I first saw her beautiful
little gray eyes open up.
Laiala Aariel put a stamp
of love deeper into my heart.

Born at 7lbs. 6oz. she was
like a little feather of love
All I could do was to grin
Saying I'm a grandad again.

Granddaddy I'm having the most
difficult time, that's what she said
to me.

I laughed to myself and said to her,
my love what could your problem
possibly be.

Granddaddy I'm cleaning out my
toybox she said. I have to get it
under controll.

I laughed to myself and I just could
not believe. these were the words
of an six year old.

We talked a little while longer and
I assured her that she could conquer
whatever she set out to do.

She giggled with pride and before
she hung up the phone, she said
Granddaddy I love you too.

The cans are empty, no money
in the jar.
can't ride the bus, don't even  
own a car.

The phone won't ring nor
make a single sound.
can't wear shoes to keep my
barefeet off the ground.

The stove won't burn, cause
there ain't no gas.
can't drink water or even
wash a single glass.

The world is dark and filled
with doubt.
can't find my way around,
cause the lights are out.

When I take a walk back down
memory lane.
I think about all the things that
I did that were so insane.

I can hear keys clinging when the
the guards locked my cell.
Teardrops conquering in my head
when I didn't get any mail.

Marathons of drug use without an
extra moment to spare.
I see my kid being aborted by a mother
who just didn't care.

How and why God spared me to
be living today.
I guess it's to help somebody else
who can't find their way.

If that's the reason then I really don't
have anything to regret.
I travel back down these lost roads
because I don't want to forget.

Forgiveness I seek from God because
of the things I didn't understand.
He's giving me another chance to be
a completely different kind of man.

A bright light came shining through
shining brightly saying I Love You
As the crash came, I saw her face
she just smiled and left without a trace.

She was sent as an angel for my protection
to take my life towards a diffrent direction
If I know Mae, she did all that she could
She talked to God as I knew she would.

She took me under her wings only to fly
She removed a situation so I wouldn't die
Mae made it clear for me to understand
She said God wants me to be a better man.

Maggie knew everything that took place
in and out of the neighborhood.
She was always willing to talk about the
things that meant others no good.

Maggie the towns gossiper who's always
looking for a place to roam.
She could talk about the business of
everybody's except for her own.

Maggie always stood in her doorway looking
for someone she could criticize.
She criticized everybody except for the
man who's blackening her eyes.

Maggie may wake up one day and realize
that we all sometimes hurt.
She may even come to grips about her own
life and stop living in the dirt.

Maggie knows that a black cat moves about
in the darkness of the night.
Police cars parked outside her home let's
others know that something isn't right.

She's living with a man and he's
not doing anything for her.
Except making himself scarce,
his presence is always a blur.

She calls me when she need things
and I'm suppose to understand.
He's the baby's daddy but he's not
willing to be the man.

I don't talk to her much now and
I think I know why.
I'm not making money anymore
so she told my heart goodbye.

I got caught up in an accident and
for me everything had to change.
She's taking it personal by acting
real strange.

I thought we were going to be the
best of the best.
She's saying love without the money
she can now care less.

My love hasn't change for them and
I'm the same old man.
All I want to do is see my kids and
she doesn't care to understand.

Our worlds are totally far apart,
my life is full of destruction and
loneliness, its like a broken down
boxcar that sits in the ghetto

Our eyes met and I see you
everyday riding the trains
and walking the streets
of India, good or bad I don't
know

Our dreams may be different
I only dream of you in gold
and diamonds and a will to
always protect you

Our train ride together offers
me a chance to leave my world
behind, only to join you and
your breathe-taking smile

Our thoughts about life and
who we protect are the same,
kind hearts beat that way and
you make mine beat in a very
special way

Our journey like the train, goes
in different paths with you never
knowing that when our eyes meet
you take me wherever you go

the poison still haunts mentally
and the desire is gone.
to be free once again to touch
what's right by defeating wrong.

the scars that linger increase in
the most dramatic pain.
circles swirling all around above
one must be insane.

the grip of the vice get tighter as
the minutes go by.
there are tears from swollen eyes
but one can't cry.

sorrow seems to come easier as if
it's in a much higher demand.
there's not a cure for the broken
heart of a dying and lost man.

for reasons untold there seems to
not be a way out.
nobody's doing any talking because
everyone's feeling doubt.

pleas and screams they all are yet
to remain unheard.
voices talking inside of my head
refusing to be disturb.

Sorry I misjudged you by the
story the media told.
A car of a different color (blue)
original color (gold).

It wasn't you who started bickering
or the brutal fight.
It's just who I assumed you to be
that made the story seem right.

The wheels of racial politics keeps
spinning around and around.
I apologize for having to see your
body lying dead on the ground.

Nobody including me will never
completely understand.
Until we truthfully see ourselves
alone out in no man's land.

Everybody wants to be first at
any and all cost.
Extreme false explanations given
for the lives that's lost.

Where do you and I start or is
there a place for a beginning.
What happens in the end when
a heart never start mending?

A pretty smile she had
hair black and wavey
She liked to tell us stories
about a snake crawling
through a hole under the
bed.
She seem to always be
happy whenever we came
to town. She convinced me
talking about that snake I
found it very hard to lay
my head down.

I often wondered if it was
her own private joke just to
see what I would do. I loved
going to Mississippi to show
that I loved her too.
Miss Callie Mae was a joy
to me, each and every time
It was something very, very
specical about this lady
who was a grandmother
of mine.

Even at my age today there are many
things that I don't understand.
Things like political pressures and the
many failures of me being a man.

Why are there so many struggles in
our world and our given life.
Why do people do so much cruelty
to separate a man from his wife.

Who are we and why do we as people
take little comfort in our own existence.
Does the evils of the world form the way
for review of our life long assistance.

What will the single man do for himself
if in this world he is left all alone.
How will he survive to see another day
without his wife, children and a home.

We rather detonate a nuclear bomb to
defeat our friends and even an enemy.
Even the dog will leave home realizing
that even he has an unclear ending.

Count the days until we reach the end
of so many wasted days and nights.
Why are there so many people who has
all the answers and never get it right?

1:51 a.m., it's a dark and dim moment.
Nobody can fall asleep.
Listening to the night winds blowing.
Death and the sounds of a child's weep.

Calm is the recipe for the moment
yet it's hard for most to achieve.
No mother, father, sister or brother.
Sadly they all had to painfully leave.

Sadness clearly seizes these moments
to remind us the ways of mankind.
Riches surround leaders of the world,
yet our lives aren't worth a dime.

Sit and weep silently in the moment.
Faces covered with pain and despair.
Broken hearts can't scream out loudly,
Nobody listens, nobody to really care.

What do we do in such dire moments
as the reaper knocks at the door.
Do we stand and fight for our lives
or sit quietly in a corner on the floor.

Mothers are cool too, because if it
wasn't for her then there would
be no you.

She says no when you want to
hang out after dark. She's the one
who picks you up when you fall
in the park.

When you get sick, mothers stay
up all night. Worrying herself close
to death trying to make you alright.

She washes your clothes, she feed
you. She'll give you her last dime.
She'll come to your defense, when
others treat you unkind.

Never take for granted all the joy
a mother gives. Passing by a last  
dying breathe, just to let you live.

Mothers wear flat shoes because
thru the years they walk a lot of
miles. Doing all that they can
just to make you smile.

Standing alone waiting for a
message from God.
Watching to see Him walking
down the hallway of my heart.

The room is quiet as the door
opens slowly, a fresh breeze of
calmness moves in and takes
a seat across from me.

A gentle voice speaks to me,
whispering and saying that the
choice to follow Him is always
and completely left up to me.

He says if you like roses and
streets made of gold, rivers
that are pure and fresh and
the sun lights up the skies.

I'm offering you a chance
He said, to just follow me.
It came as a surprise and
why was He asking me.

Wanting to explain about all
the bad and wrong I've done.
He quietly raised His hand
to tell me that it's never to late.

All of these things He knew
would come to pass. They're
called trials and tribulations
yet He's giving me a chance.

The book of life was written
and my name is surely there.
Nevertheless the decision to
go with Him is still up to me.

i watch for her as she slowly
gets out of her car.
what goes through my mind
is how's her day so far.

she's battled through the day
surrounded by this disease.
this isn't a disease to put
anybody's mind to ease.

i pray for her as she walks out
to her car.
i have to remind my hero that
through it all she's my star.

my prayer to God is that He
reach out to keep her safe.
let her do her best to help
those who need her space.

trust in God more and more
each minute through the day.
He's made up His mind for
her so she'll be okay.

i cherish my hero for i know
she will do her best.
be proud to be the best to
help carry on the rest.

so i praise her, i love her and
i want her to be strong.
fight your battle graciously
and then you come on home.

worried about my little girl
and all the danger she will see.
clouded without directions will
she make it without me.

a twisted world she lives in
and nothing comes free.
will she become a victim trying
to please the powers that be.

she's my little girl chosen from
God's best selection.
will she remember me once she's
free from my protection.

she's fully aware that the world
isn't always as it seems.
she's my beautiful little girl who's
the only star of my dreams.

Mysteries are things we sometimes
never figure out.
Why do some say the keys to the world
are only love, hate and doubt.

Why are things off limits to some of us
and totally free to so many others.
How can a man love himself only to
end up hating his brothers.

What is the answer to a question that
has never been asked.
How can anybody have a future without
having a past.

Why are so many people out searching
for a tomorrow of change.
When the tidal waves of the human race
are so easy to rearrange.

What are the mysteries of a day that can
only be seen at night.
Why does wrong seem to override the
things that are suppose to be right.

The days of neon grey continues
haunting me deep inside.
My child, now gone forever
hidden because of lies.

Screams in dark dreams seem
to come often and clear.
The abuser stands closely by
watching me covered in fear.

Taking a high road of trying to
support a colorless demon.
Whose heart was covered by
nothing but black and neon.

Signs of distress often appeared
before my very own eyes.
The heart told me to keep going
and to overlook the sea of lies.

Reality was shadowed by wanting
to make a dream come true.
The abuser wanted nothing but to
turn the sun black and neon blue.

The abuser always seem to have
a colorful secret of how to win.
Falsely forgetting that their neon lies
is how all the bad things begin.

Maybe the neon dream will have
a bright neon color of reverse.
And finally break away from the
abusive demon and its neon curse.

A: always full of greed and the destruction of others
B: believes the world owes her something for free
O: others were nothing to her but a stepping stone
R: ran others away when they saw her coming
T: told lies just to get her own selfish way in life
I: insist on causing others pain, she has no clue
O: one man stands up to her no matter what the cost
N: never knew his unborn child because she didn't care

i look for the redefinition
of my rugged old life.
to erase the tarnished filled
memories that is my plight.

let's create another direction
coming full circle of change.
creating new thoughts to
set the world onto flames.

it's my ignition to crank the
power that be.
supercharged to the max
who else would i be.

powerful, bold and fierce
excepting nothing less.
waiting to be the batter's bat
knocking down every test.

the mind's been at an idol stage
filled with distraught and rage.
days gone by with very little rest
dazed and confused as to what is best.

stressed out and left without an ounce of
vigor for me to carry on.
everything sits openly inside my mine
who knows if i'm right or wrong.

i can't stay here anymore it's now time
for me to move on.
why must i sit here to keep listening
to the very same outdated song.

it's far too late to come running back  
talking about your wants and your needs.
why should i depend on you when you
don't want to try to succeed.

for years we've gone on without a real
good reason.
it's time to pick elsewhere and to move
on by exploring a brand new season.

Trouble always seem to poison my day.
If there's a way out I can't find my way.
Trust they say and never have doubts.
Is this truly what life is all about?

The sun up there in these big blue skies.
Doesn't shine on me to dry my tearful eyes.
Birds fly over my head never making a sound.
I never miss the puddles on this old wet ground.

Why don't I get to miss the things of wrong?
When people sing why don't I hear their song?
Candles burn at night without leaving me light.
The moon disappears in the middle of the night.

The mental aspect of it all it seems to get worst.
Rivers running all around me I still have a thirst.
Wanting to leave it all behind I can't find my way.
God teach me and lead me to paths for a better day.

on my side of the fence
the grass is not green.
only a big bald spot that's
taking up the sun's beam.

my pots are empty because
the flowers refuse to grow.
there's no making sense of
the plants I don't even know.

the ground have stones that
have fallen through the cracks.
found an old broken pitchfork
so i decided to throw it back.

no production of any kind not
even a mustard seed.
what's left in this old garden
of mine are only dried up weeds.

Some people think they own you
if they open the door for you.
They watch your every step, they
keep an keen eye on you.

They wait for you to respond to
every demand they make.
They want it right now and they
don't care what it takes.

It's not about how much they care
for you, that's not in the plan.
They did something for you and they
expect you understand.

Nothings free anymore you brought
this down on yourself.
They will take, take, take away from
you until you have nothing left.

Night begins to fall in
you can't sleep
Darkness finally comes
you begin to weep

You tremble inside as
he approach your door
You count every step as
he creep across your floor

Unwanted touches that
cause you so much pain
You feel guilty and you
carry so much shame

You're being told that
nobody should find out
You're being promised
hurt and that's no doubt

He force you to believe
that everything is alright
You feel something inside
that say you should fight

Stop the madness and
this is a true fact
Tell someone your story
and take your life back

Oh! that Laila such a spirited life and a very spirited soul.
Chasing joyfully behind "Bunny Hop" as he tries to reach
his little bunny hole.

Oh! granddaddy do you see the bunny running and playing?
I'm going to catch him, her little spirited voice kept on saying.

Oh! that Laila she's such a bundle of joy, "granddaddy" can be
expected to ring out at least a million times a day.
Because she knows that her granddaddy loves her and she loves me, and we wouldn't have it any other way.

We share such memories together like hanging out at "Hams Orchard" on many summer occasions.
Oh! that Laila melts my heart away while we partake in sharing
our peach ice cream with such an aspiration.

Oh! that Laila looks forward to what we call "Donut Saturdays"
and the only one donut that's covered in a pink glaze.
She knows that if she see's that one donut she and I will have another episode of memories that'll last for months and days.

Oh! that Laila

Bored as one can be, oh yes that's me
frustrated without a second thought.
Really, if you seriously want to know I
blame myself, oh yeah it's my fault.

I can't quite find my way, I can't quite seem
to find my very own prayer.
I can't see the good side of my face anymore
I look in the mirror I can only find a stare.

All notions have been tested, oh! yes that's me
searching from the bottom all the way to the top.
Quickly sliding further down toward the bottom
of the pit and I just can't stop.

My lion like spirit has taken on quite a beating
Oh! yes these are my tears.
What's happening with all those prayers that
I've stored up for years.

Shout at me and it's okay for anybody who
wants to go all out and scream.
Oh! yes it me and I'm looking for somebody
to wake me up from this old bad dream.

Oak trees aligned all dressed in green with
an occasional site of a Bald Cypress tree.
Homes decked out in painted shades of fall
as birds fly overhead singing so openly free.

As narrow streets pave the way throughout
the neighborhood.
There's a peacefulness surrounding that makes
all seem well and good.

The horizon gives way to a painted masterpiece
of faded white, blue and sunshine gold.
Leaving one to wonder about the many wonderful
amounts of feelings that such sites may hold.

There's a sense of pride that one must have to
possess this God given gift.
It's good to know that the owners of this place
have smiles that give others much needed lifts.

The silence proves to be much welcomed and
proves the many good stories told.
That good small town living and life is a good
thing for every man's God given soul.

God allows for things to change for a many good
reasons, on time and never ever too late.
Allowing for a chance to share, see and visit such
magnificent dream come true labeled as 10188.

By: Willie Jennings

Out on the ocean you see colors
blue green, purple, blue, etc.
If you look closer you'll even
see someone just like me.

Out on the ocean you just may
find the sunlight and the rain.
If you look closer you'll even
see someone in pain.

Out on the ocean you can see
the stars and even the moon.
If you look closer you'll even
see someone who died to soon.

Out on the ocean you feel the
wrath of an unexpected wave.
If you look closer you'll even
see someone who has been saved.

Out on the ocean you will see
a fish and a flying sea gull.
If you look closer you'll even
see someone who has no love.

Out on the ocean you can take
a look down and see your face.
If you look closer you'll even
see someone who's lost in space.

Out on the ocean you can and
somehow forget about bad times.
If you look closer you'll even
see someone who God did find.

There are open trap doors
lying up ahead.
Sometimes we can get ******
in and could end up dead.

Pitfalls setup by some whom we
consider to be a friend.
They're not happy with you, unless
you're trapped in a lion's den.

Smiling faces sometimes, they
can seem so dear.
They can also cause so much pain
like the pierce of a spear.

We live in a world where respect
seem to no longer exist.
Some people like to see you down
living as their accomplice.

the torture of doubt stampedes
the mind sometimes.
it has destroyed many lives and
brought about so many crimes.

doubt churns and churns and digs
deep into a man's soul.
many may think they can outlast its
wits only to end up losing control.

doubt has taken down groups in
packs and/or singled some out.
it has wipe clean the heart's of lovers
leaving an empty heart without.

you can be happy and suddenly
doubt seeks to make it's change.
it has so much hidden power to
cause a bright mind to suffer derange.

There was always a full house to hear
the preacher preach on Sunday.
Nobody wanted to be around to hear
the words he spoke on Monday.

Fussing and cussing at the top of his
voice he yelled.
If the spirit of Jesus was in him then
nobody could tell.

He sung mighty songs of glory on Sunday
and out singing the choir.
Couldn't stand to see the wife on Monday
because he had another desire.

She danced to the music as the pianist
hit all the right keys.
Praising the Lord this Sunday morning
asking God to supply her needs.

Monday afternoon when all the blessings
finally came through.
The praise dancer was hanging out in the
juke junk drinking and smoking *** too.

Sunday mornings you couldn't beat these
two trying to get in the first shout.
Rushing to get this day over with, so they
could see what Monday was all about.

maybe the puzzles could be fixed if I only
knew where the right pieces are.
the jagged pieces won't fit if the corners
are all seemly square.

it's hard to keep forcing pieces to fit if they
won't match up.
kind of like trying to fit a big cardboard
box into an eight ounce cup.

the right pieces for my life to get back on
track I can't seem to find.
everything I need to focus on to feel good
it won't seep into my mind.

this heart of mind was made to become
all about the Lord and His joy.
the devil is playing me like a fool just to
make me his own personal toy.

i want out of the devil's game so that I
can find peace in my own game.
i need Jesus to lead me through this
by me calling on His name.

pick up the pieces Lord and help me
to fix my puzzled and confused life.
it's been said by so many others that
choosing you, you will make it right.

I realized what I have in you, it's
more than I deserve to have.
Always having a very positive spirit
compared the negative one I have.

I often wonder why couldn't I be the
one who's there to carry you.
To fight for you on the days when you
feel as if you can't make it through.

I stand back when the crowds are there
to cheer you on.
I think about the tears you've cried on
days I've did you wrong.

The sacrifice you put yourself through
to keep our lives as one.
You've never said to me that you're not
the one who's having fun.

Your smile is worth more than the cost
of the coolest September day.
I just wished that we could stand out in
the rain and do nothing else but play.

When I was on top of the world you were
always there with me.
I couldn't really open up my eyes to truly
see that it was really you standing by me.

If you left today and never came back to
be my friend again.
I'll remember that it was me who was the
one who gave up my very best friend.

What happens when the teargas takes
to the sky and finally disappear.
The fact remains that nothing has changed,
you still have chaos and the taste of fear.

Riots unfold and the looting begins and
the turmoil seem to have no ending.
A mother is somewhere in a closet crying
and her heart has no way of mending.

Everything about life has now been changed
and a total package of disarray.
People shouting from the rooftops and saying
nothing, because they have nothing to say.

Fingers are pointed in all directions without
trying to figure the problems out.
Words are spoken emotionally as the tears fall
down leaving a trail of nothing but doubt.

a force of wind always blowing
forcefully at his back.
rushing tidal waves of despair to
reckon with and that's a fact.

as the sails are lifted to bring about
much needed speed.
there's a sense of emergency that
lies ahead in uncharted seas.

bows may break and there may be
much cargo that's forever lost.
holding on to the title of being a good
captain doesn't comes without a cost.

understanding what's in store as he
protects his unwavering crew.
there's a strong possibility of death
as troubles may brew.

scars of wisdom are embedded deep
within the lines of his face.
willing to befriend all of God's people
as he travels from place to place.

Something scary is scratching fiercely
at the doors of my heart.
Caught up in a lions grip and there's
no escaping of being ripped apart.

Sometimes the pain within goes back
to the innocent of childhood days.
Caught up in the middle of a storm
that's deadly in many ways.

The chains of darkness only tightens
with sorrow in the middle of night.
Caught up in a broken spirit that's lost
forever without the will to fight.

Tough to see chariots of freedom that's
so unwilling to come to a halt.
Caught up in a sandstorm of skeletons
causing one to remain distraught.

A rider slowly rode into town
during the darkness of night.
He knocked at my door and he
asked for a light.

He had a look in his eyes, one
that I've never seen.
I didn't want him at my place
because he seemed so mean.

I tried to find him a place to go
and to lay his head down.
He wasn't friendly at all nor did
his face cover up his frown.

He insisted that he was told by
someone to move into my place.
I tried to run him away instead
he punched me in the face.

I asked why was he here stepping
into my household.
The rider said that he was there to
cause me pain and to take control.

I stood there wondering to myself
is this little guy for real.
He replied; I'll hurt you forever and
the joy you have, I'm going to steal.

So he forced his way in and at the
table he grab himself a chair.
He called himself Satan, the master
of destruction, misery and despair.

silence lingers in the head of a man
who holds so many secrets.
pain lingers in the heart of a man as
he tries to move pass many regrets.

there are so many things that a man
feel the need to say.
but how can the words come about
if pride always get in the way.

who has the right to tell a man what
he needs to do.
what precautions would you take
if a man tried to control you.

if a man decides to dream what should
he dream about.
if he believes that his dream can come
true then who are you to doubt.

a man's secrets and his dreams they both
may coincide.
why tell a man that his dream is only a
secret that he must continue to hide.

You can explain things to a man
but does he really listen, no
he has it in his mind that no
matter what he's always right.

Man let pride get in the way
and instead of seeing truth,
he wants the world to think
cool be he and he be cool.

You can point to the problem
yet he'll refuse to see it, and
then man will turn and blame
it all on you.

An unbreakable image for
what the the world must see,
all the time afraid like a boy
screaming, i want to be a man.

Soles ran down on the edges,
rubber, wood, plastic and other
manmade material they all walk the same.

Scuff marks, some unpolished,
dust on top, dirt on the bottom and
some wet from the puddles in the street.

Name brands, some unknown,
faded, two tones, heels high and low,
some have taken on many countless steps.

Strings laced, untied and tight,
some small and long, medium, large
and some come in x's, size 0 to 14 and more.

Gators, leather, cloth, and eel,
other synthetic fibers and filaments,
some cheap and some tagged as the very best.

Made for comfort and specialties,
colors of black, brown, red, and blue
midnight, taupe, white, orange and pink.

Universally worn by most,
one size that fits the world for sure
whether they're old, used or shiny new.

The silence remain within
it hurts and it's scary.
The sound of silence is normal,
common to be afraid.

Keep silent because men are
not suppose to speak.
Accept it or be ridiculed
by everlasting torture.

It's supposed to always be
an unknown secret.
That's not to be shared by
others who look like me.

Remember the pointed knife,
remember the bats of violence.
Continue to hear the threats,
remember the physical pain.

Cling to the many times I tried
to tell the story of reality.
Nobody cared to stop by or call
to hear my broken voice.

Nobody cared to understand,
denials were made in silence.
Today I stand broken because
it's all taken as a joke.

Society won't to listen to a
broken voice like mine.
Keep silent they say to me
remember I'm a man.

Many things have gone away,
many moons have passed.
Many nights of broken dreams,
mental scars from a silent lie.

suddenly feeling kind of broke
just another day for me to choke
can't remember where I've been
blame it on the tonic and gin.

the tidal waves splashing all about
my pocket's empty there is no doubt
asked the band for a song to sing
instead I got a bump it sure does sting.

something went wrong in the crowd
suddenly things became loud
lights began to cover my eyes
to much to drink and that's not a lie.

suddenly I'm rowdy as I can be
got a long way to go before I'm free
running fast trying to get away
trying my best to see another day.

Sometimes a man never escapes
the deeds of the pass.
Sometimes the sorrows of today
they leave too fast.

Sometimes a man fall far to short
of his everlasting dream.
Sometimes the visions in his eyes
are never quite like they seem.

Sometimes a man can get lost and
and he can never find joy.
Sometimes reasoning isn't considered
to be the greatest of ploy.

Sometimes man follow another man's
path only to be mislead.
Sometimes there are signs that warn
to stop before the danger ahead.

Hatred was more important to her
than me being a father.
If she couldn't control my life she
had no reason to be bothered.

For all the good things I offered there
was always something wrong.
Her ideals of having good times
involved the use of knives, sticks
and stones.

Keeping quiet because of the child
I thought it would be best.
The child turned out to be more of a
reason for mom to care even less.

Terror was buried deep inside of my
soul but it had to stay hidden.
I knew that my child was being
used as a tool for bidding.

If I wouldn't give in to the abuse
or pretend to be happy and nice.
Storms of abusive behavior would  
arise without the abuser ever
thinking twice.

A self inflicted separation came
by the end of the day.
A lost child forever used to settle
the score for me walking away.