A: always full of greed and the destruction of others
B: believes the world owes her something for free
O: others were nothing to her but a stepping stone
R: ran others away when they saw her coming
T: told lies just to get her own selfish way in life
I: insist on causing others pain, she has no clue
O: one man stands up to her no matter what the cost
N: never knew his unborn child because she didn't care

The storm kept coming and
the rain kept hitting my face.
But the Lord kept telling me
He's in charge of this race.

There were days when I
couldn't find a friend.
Jesus said He was there to
stand by me until the end.

There were times when I
cried into the night hours.
God woke me up the next
day with His Holy power.

Even in my weakest times
and I felt I couldn't go on.
Jesus picked me up and He
taught me right from wrong.

I had to ask the Lord why did
He choose a man like me.
He said even sinners like me
deserves to be set free.

sometimes you have to wallop in
the mess thats created around you.
you try to run, you can't get away
you try to hide but you're always
seen.

scream as loud as you can, but no
one really cares about what you're
going thru, so it seems that you're
out there all alone, nobody but you.

get up, face it, what do you expect
someone to come running to solve
the mess you've made.
no one can make this right,
except you.

stand up for yourself and stop
looking for self pity. before you
created this awful, awful mess
you were doing just fine, weren't
you.

I fell out of this chair because
I just wanted to believe in all

you've said to me

all you've read to me

and even the pain you've

caused me.

I can no longer believe in
you because I can't get back

into this chair

because you lied

to me

but not only to me

you lied

by taking the

life of

my child.

I sit down on the floor

because you think

that it's cute.

I realized what I have in you, it's
more than I deserve to have.
Always having a very positive spirit
compared the negative one I have.

I often wonder why couldn't I be the
one who's there to carry you.
To fight for you on the days when you
feel as if you can't make it through.

I stand back when the crowds are there
to cheer you on.
I think about the tears you've cried on
days I've did you wrong.

The sacrifice you put yourself through
to keep our lives as one.
You've never said to me that you're not
the one who's having fun.

Your smile is worth more than the cost
of the coolest September day.
I just wished that we could stand out in
the rain and do nothing else but play.

When I was on top of the world you were
always there with me.
I couldn't really open up my eyes to truly
see that it was really you standing by me.

If you left today and never came back to
be my friend again.
I'll remember that it was me who was the
one who gave up my very best friend.

The cans are empty, no money
in the jar.
can't ride the bus, don't even  
own a car.

The phone won't ring nor
make a single sound.
can't wear shoes to keep my
barefeet off the ground.

The stove won't burn, cause
there ain't no gas.
can't drink water or even
wash a single glass.

The world is dark and filled
with doubt.
can't find my way around,
cause the lights are out.

Isolated from the world as time
floats quietly away.
Having to deal with an abundance
of pain every single day.

Memories of perfect days are surely
bound to be loss.
Like facing the wrath of a tidal wave
you're bound to be tossed.

Peace seem to fade away suddenly
and at a very rapid pace.
Leaving the frown of uncertainties
stamped across the face.

When others of the world are happy
and floating happily along.
This monstrosity can cause the soul
of a victim to feel all alone .

Unwanted pain greets in the morning
as the sun rises slowly in the sky.
Uneasy waters traveled across, without
a real reason or understanding why.

Time has been turned upside down and
minutes are wasting hastily away.
The nights are purple and the hours of
the morning turn quickly to a black veiled day.

Memories of the way life use to be are
slowly taken over by grief and pain.
The mind is greatly held hostage by
a huge unbroken chain.

There are many storms to cross out in
this uncertain and open sea.
Its something you learn to live with,
there's no other way to be.

Batten down your hatches and make
sure to close that open door.
This ship may never find the entry to
another refuged shore.

There is no way to escape this fog and
its angry purple haze.
If this sinking ship lands at home again
it will only find black veiled days.

Hatred was more important to her
than me being a father.
If she couldn't control my life she
had no reason to be bothered.

For all the good things I offered there
was always something wrong.
Her ideals of having good times
involved the use of knives, sticks
and stones.

Keeping quiet because of the child
I thought it would be best.
The child turned out to be more of a
reason for mom to care even less.

Terror was buried deep inside of my
soul but it had to stay hidden.
I knew that my child was being
used as a tool for bidding.

If I wouldn't give in to the abuse
or pretend to be happy and nice.
Storms of abusive behavior would  
arise without the abuser ever
thinking twice.

A self inflicted separation came
by the end of the day.
A lost child forever used to settle
the score for me walking away.

I'm standing in the middle of the park
watching and waiting in despair.
Cars are blowing their horns at me
I wave back as if I really care.

There's nothing to do except waste time
on another glorious day.
Searching for reasons or an excuse to not
work, instead I'd rather play.

I lay back on the grass as it dances with the
rhythms of the wind.
Singing songs with the birds and praying
that this day never end.

Terror surrounds my house because
of the work she does.
I know she's the caring type and we
must go on, right or wrong.

It's not her fault nor is it the fault of
the man whose involved.
Our lives are at stake but to me it's
all for her, that's the amount of my love.

I cherish her because she means the
world to me and much more.
I have to do what I can for her and to
keep this enemy away from my door.

It's not her fault but she has to fight
this monster but not without me.
I'm willing to be the one who has to
face this monster but just set her free.

She's bold and beautiful and she's been
bless with courage from God.
I'll take on this terror to keep her safe by
asking God to not take our love apart.

So God I ask that You bring her home
safe and sound for me.
So that I can watch over and pamper her
until I know that she's finally free.

Oh! that Laila such a spirited life and a very spirited soul.
Chasing joyfully behind "Bunny Hop" as he tries to reach
his little bunny hole.

Oh! granddaddy do you see the bunny running and playing?
I'm going to catch him, her little spirited voice kept on saying.

Oh! that Laila she's such a bundle of joy, "granddaddy" can be
expected to ring out at least a million times a day.
Because she knows that her granddaddy loves her and she loves me, and we wouldn't have it any other way.

We share such memories together like hanging out at "Hams Orchard" on many summer occasions.
Oh! that Laila melts my heart away while we partake in sharing
our peach ice cream with such an aspiration.

Oh! that Laila looks forward to what we call "Donut Saturdays"
and the only one donut that's covered in a pink glaze.
She knows that if she see's that one donut she and I will have another episode of memories that'll last for months and days.

Oh! that Laila

Sometimes you get stuck in a place
and you don't know what to do
You hear cries in the night, you
look around, theres nobody there.

Who is it, who am I, who are you
why are you here and what do we
want, we just don't know and we
keep wondering why is it us.

The silence is all around you and
it has me covered with dismay
you don't care and we are lost in
turmoil of what we just may be.

How do we get out of this mess
what do I do to be removed from
who and what you are and you
be ridden of who I just may be.

Will we continue to sink into the
darkness that's inside of me
must I continue to suffer the
bitterness of who you really are.

The flowers are dead all around me
and the ground on which you are
standing on the grass will never grow
no spring and there is no sunshine

Empty spaces for you and the fun
of the circus don't exist for me
why are we here and who am I
and what will you turn out to be.

how many acid raindrops have fallen
from the open skies up above.
how many people live today without
knowing the meaning of true love.

how many tears are formed in the eyes
of a man each and every day.
how many people try to use their voice
but never having a good word to say.

how many years have gone by since the
beginning of the good times.
how many neighborhoods can count the
days when there was no crime.

how many clean rushing streams are there
that actually find their way.
how many children walk the streets without
having a pillow for their head to lay.

how many times will man **** another man
just for the sake of his own greed.
how many years will continue to go by before
we destroy the only world we need.

There are open trap doors
lying up ahead.
Sometimes we can get ******
in and could end up dead.

Pitfalls setup by some whom we
consider to be a friend.
They're not happy with you, unless
you're trapped in a lion's den.

Smiling faces sometimes, they
can seem so dear.
They can also cause so much pain
like the pierce of a spear.

We live in a world where respect
seem to no longer exist.
Some people like to see you down
living as their accomplice.

You can see Annie pushing her
old grocery cart out in the street.
Her clothes are ***** and torn,
she has no shoes on her feet.

People laugh at Annie because
of her downward condition.
Never knowing that they could
end up in the same position.

Annie stood out in the middle
of the street one day.
She brought traffic to a sudden
stop when she begun to pray.

Annie was asking God to give
her a brand new life.
Please remove all the criticism,
scorn and the hurtful strife.

You can say many things about
Annie and the way she lives.
But you can never take away the
love her heart has to give.

So the next time you see her and
you have mean things to say.
Annie could be the very one who
has to help you out one day.

Imagine the steps you take with
the sand under your feet.
The wind blowing at your back,
the sunlight's a treat.

Imagine ships sailing carelessly
out in the open sea.
You're resided to your cabin
sipping a cup of warm tea.

Imagine the wings of the seagulls
spreading effortlessly.
Racing after breadcrumbs that's
thrown in the air so unselfishly.

Imagine watching the sunset over
into the western skies.
These are the perfect images for
days when tears fill your eyes.

by: Willie J. Jennings
4/25/14

Standing alone waiting for a
message from God.
Watching to see Him walking
down the hallway of my heart.

The room is quiet as the door
opens slowly, a fresh breeze of
calmness moves in and takes
a seat across from me.

A gentle voice speaks to me,
whispering and saying that the
choice to follow Him is always
and completely left up to me.

He says if you like roses and
streets made of gold, rivers
that are pure and fresh and
the sun lights up the skies.

I'm offering you a chance
He said, to just follow me.
It came as a surprise and
why was He asking me.

Wanting to explain about all
the bad and wrong I've done.
He quietly raised His hand
to tell me that it's never to late.

All of these things He knew
would come to pass. They're
called trials and tribulations
yet He's giving me a chance.

The book of life was written
and my name is surely there.
Nevertheless the decision to
go with Him is still up to me.

creatures from the swamp
they keep coming up.
whispering silently sneaking
around in the office.
watch out because the poisons
about to be put in your cup.

envy, jealousy, spite, confusion
it's all coming your way.
the neighborhood eyes they're
all watching you.
nighttime thieves will come and
visit during the day.

unwanted chills surround you
by the winds of hate.
lurking in the darkness seeking
to do much harm to you.
it's best that you turn yourself
around before it's to late.

The days of green grass, white fences
are many miles behind.
The dreams of the good neighbors and
politics are so hard to find.

Nobody takes much notice of what it
takes to run the good race.
People refuse to help one another if
it takes up a lot of space.

Greed, self destruction and less loyalty
make up the golden rule.
Nobody seem to care anymore about
a child staying in school.

Run they say and catch as many *****
as you can.
Nobody wants to talk to a man unless
there's a million dollars in his hands.

Nobody can win a battle without the
willingness to fight until the end.
What good does it do for a man if he's
the one standing without a friend.

There's a number of times when
we do things without seeking
God first.
We go on as if He doesn't exist
we run, we hide, we're bold
we're selfish and we deny His
will to help and we destroy.

The stars of the night, He  has
bless us to see by the promise
of our eyes opening during the
beginning of the day.
We lie, we cheat, we forget His
glory of each passing minute
when we don't pray.

The weaknesses of the world
comes crashing down upon
us at the blink of an eye.
Bringing troubles that seems
unbearable at times simply
because we think we can
do anything without putting
God first.

you're out there somewhere
hidden without me.
victim of someone who seeks
to totally control me.

used as a pawn for someone's
selfishness and greed.
you're a person of interest to me
our hearts will be freed.

hopefully God's angels are flying
all around you.
maybe we'll see each other again
because I'm looking for you.

the truth will be known and that's
without a doubt.
you see that's what the promise's
of God is all about.

many things have happened to us
and they're really awful and sad.
my search will last forever because
I am your dad.

God's plan is in motion and there
are no doubts.
Everything that's been hidden
will eventually be found out.

a knock on the door
nobody answers- yet
curtains in the window
slightly moving
yet nobody's there.

rain clouds falling but
you're not wet-yet
a totally drenched mind
moving slowly
yet nothing can be found.

tension fills the air but
you feel nothing-yet
there's air floating in
your head
yet nobody's there.

souls torn with damnation
no peace found-yet
a heart filled with lots
of pain
yet nothing can be found.

Darkness can't take away this hurtful pain
so I try to picture colors at night.
I try to mingle outside during the day but
I can't stand to be in the light.

A cloud of color is moving inside of my head
so I feel like I'm on cloud number nine.
There's a terror of realizing who I am today,
the new me is bound to be very unkind.

Confusion is the new normal day and there
is nothing better after dark.
Depression becomes the colorful new vehicle
that can never be taken out of park.

Dull colors constantly take away the energy
that's suppose to be a brand new day.
Leaving the remnants of a broken dream and
a body of decay.

There is no way to get away from the colors
that this world forces you to see.
Unless the forces of the God lead us down
a path that uncovers the hidden key.

The driver slowly drove down
a road called "Troubled Lane".
There were plenty signs along
the way that said "Stop".

He drove down "Sin Street" and
asked if I wanted to take a tour.
He suggested that we go down
the road called "Past".

He pointed out a sign that read
the "Road to Hell".
There was an arrow on a sign
pointing to the "Lake of Fire".

He quietly asked if I wanted to
tour "Outcast Boulevard".
Or follow the sign that pointed
toward "Destruction Row".

There was an option given to
turn toward "The Bible".
Finally the driver showed me the
sign that said "Repent".

Ted was a good guy, he had
plenty of friends.
No one could believe that his
life came to an end.

People would always say that
he had a great smile.
He would go the distance for
you, even walking a mile.

Ted worked ******* his job from
night to day.
If they needed someone to work
overtime, Ted would stay.

Suddenly one day he began to
feel terrible and strange.
This is day that everything in
Ted's life changed.

Doctor's ran blood test, cultures
and a whole lot more.
Ted's boss and the job selfishly
kicked him out of the door.

Suffering without insurance and
in a whole lot of pain.
Ted then decided to give up on life
because he felt he had nothing to gain.

Lord, if someone had just reached out
to lend Ted a helping hand.
We wouldn't have to be standing
out in the rain trying to understand.

One thing about Ted is he did the
very best that he could.
Satisfying his no good boss, job and
people who never understood.

Ted's insurance company let it be
known that they could care less.
Doing all that they could do to make
his life more of a mess.

So here we are talking all about Ted
leaving behind kids and a wife.
Nobody wants to face the facts of
why he took his own life.

Most would agree that suicide for
Ted was all so wrong.
Even the strongest of men have a
day when they are not strong.

I worry too much about things and
I let it get inside my head.
I can't travel in the right directions,
I go the opposite way instead.

I lose faith in everything and it's
just the way I live.
I give out in the middle of the road
because I have nothing more to give.

I search for the tunnel that will have
the shining light.
Only to find that the daytime hours
have been taken over by the night.

I've been beaten and destroyed by
a force that I can't figure out.
If there's any good left in me it's
taken away by lot's of doubt.

I stand at the bottom of mountains
without finding a way to the top.
Reading signs along the way and
they all say "STOP".

How can I find my way if I'm afraid
to take the chance.
How can I stop boulders from knocking
me down if I don't make a stance.

the ghost of past civil unrest
seem to linger everywhere.
the just always pay the price
for others who just don't care.

riots are formed by the mouth
by those who seek fame.
yet there's a death that is the
past of an forgotten name.

tragedies comes about and it
crosses every color line.
yet the scars of yesterday are
never far behind.

tensions flare and words are
spoken to ignite the flames.
to the political and the leaders
it just another game.

nobody has an answer for all
the pain and the sorrow.
yet the books are already open
just waiting for tomorrow.

Out on the ocean you see colors
blue green, purple, blue, etc.
If you look closer you'll even
see someone just like me.

Out on the ocean you just may
find the sunlight and the rain.
If you look closer you'll even
see someone in pain.

Out on the ocean you can see
the stars and even the moon.
If you look closer you'll even
see someone who died to soon.

Out on the ocean you feel the
wrath of an unexpected wave.
If you look closer you'll even
see someone who has been saved.

Out on the ocean you will see
a fish and a flying sea gull.
If you look closer you'll even
see someone who has no love.

Out on the ocean you can take
a look down and see your face.
If you look closer you'll even
see someone who's lost in space.

Out on the ocean you can and
somehow forget about bad times.
If you look closer you'll even
see someone who God did find.

What happens when the teargas takes
to the sky and finally disappear.
The fact remains that nothing has changed,
you still have chaos and the taste of fear.

Riots unfold and the looting begins and
the turmoil seem to have no ending.
A mother is somewhere in a closet crying
and her heart has no way of mending.

Everything about life has now been changed
and a total package of disarray.
People shouting from the rooftops and saying
nothing, because they have nothing to say.

Fingers are pointed in all directions without
trying to figure the problems out.
Words are spoken emotionally as the tears fall
down leaving a trail of nothing but doubt.

There are storms in this world that
sometime make us all want to cry.
God keeps His umbrella of love open
on rainy days to keep us dry.

There are days when we experience
at least two types of weather.
God said that He'll never leave our
sides, for He'll make it better.

Trust in Him to protect us because our
bible tells us so.
God use these rainy days to always
make our flowers grow.

So when the storms come and we
think today is going to be a mess.
Be mindful and think about all the
sunny days when we've been bless.

Buried deep in the clutches
of unknown fear.
Knives hanging from ceilings
edges sharp like a spear.

Chaos confirmed to be defined
worst than it's meaning.
Bloodshed and tears running
like water hot and steaming.

Missiles become a common
thing bursting in midair.
In the clutches everyday people
live in total despair.

Nothing is simple anymore
for its complex situations.
Extreme greed and destruction
threatens all creation.

No one is immune from falling  
through the clutches pitfalls.
Evil has a way of waiting for the
right moment to make its call.

worried about my little girl
and all the danger she will see.
clouded without directions will
she make it without me.

a twisted world she lives in
and nothing comes free.
will she become a victim trying
to please the powers that be.

she's my little girl chosen from
God's best selection.
will she remember me once she's
free from my protection.

she's fully aware that the world
isn't always as it seems.
she's my beautiful little girl who's
the only star of my dreams.

on my side of the fence
the grass is not green.
only a big bald spot that's
taking up the sun's beam.

my pots are empty because
the flowers refuse to grow.
there's no making sense of
the plants I don't even know.

the ground have stones that
have fallen through the cracks.
found an old broken pitchfork
so i decided to throw it back.

no production of any kind not
even a mustard seed.
what's left in this old garden
of mine are only dried up weeds.

taken the steps to disqualify
the used of your name.
she'd blown you many kisses
even when she's ashamed.

she's never said a word when
she knew you were wrong.
she sits gladly and she listens to
the words of your sad song.

there's never a time when she
won't give in.
she's the one and only standing
when you needed a friend.

tired of working the long hours
that keeps her away from the kids.
she's losing faith in you because
you've taken she'd money she's hid.

tears fall from her eyes because she
doesn't know how to get rid of you.
she see's the bottle in your hand and
she doesn't know what you'll do.

verbally and physically she's been
beaten down to the ground.
she's just waiting for the days when
you're no longer around.

all of the evil thing you've done to
her oh! she'll never forget.
but once she's gone those will be the
days that you'll always  regret.

waking up in darkness yet He
saw fit to show me the light.
in the middle of the storms He
chose to make things right.

the many days of sorrow and
the unfortunate minutes of pain.
He stepped in and touched my life
so that I'll call on His holy name.

countless blessings He's given to
me with many more to spare.
He didn't have to do it for me but
through love I do know He cares.

my life's a living testimony for reasons
that I do not know.
but He saw fit to guide me through it
all, there's no better friend I know.

i look for the redefinition
of my rugged old life.
to erase the tarnished filled
memories that is my plight.

let's create another direction
coming full circle of change.
creating new thoughts to
set the world onto flames.

it's my ignition to crank the
power that be.
supercharged to the max
who else would i be.

powerful, bold and fierce
excepting nothing less.
waiting to be the batter's bat
knocking down every test.

the mind's been at an idol stage
filled with distraught and rage.
days gone by with very little rest
dazed and confused as to what is best.

stressed out and left without an ounce of
vigor for me to carry on.
everything sits openly inside my mine
who knows if i'm right or wrong.

i can't stay here anymore it's now time
for me to move on.
why must i sit here to keep listening
to the very same outdated song.

it's far too late to come running back  
talking about your wants and your needs.
why should i depend on you when you
don't want to try to succeed.

for years we've gone on without a real
good reason.
it's time to pick elsewhere and to move
on by exploring a brand new season.

there were secrets that couldn't
possibly be talked about.
pride mostly taken over and that's
without a doubt.

kicked and scratched up and many
times knocked to the floor.
a screaming man's voice never heard,
no authorities knocked at the door.

tortured for being kind and a hostage
trying to keep afloat.
afraid for his voice to heard and even
afraid to write a note.

a common conversation would be a
reason for a fight.
if things didn't go her way and if she
didn't think it was right.

he stood and he took his bruises like
some say you should take as a man.
she took it as an entitlement without
making efforts to try to understand.

she didn't care how much pain she
caused, it was just her way.
she became more violent with the
abuse, believing it was all okay.

she didn't care about his feelings or
what anybody else would think.
she could cover it all up with a smile
and with an eye blink.

it was all about her feelings and it
was all about her having control.
he was living in a world that says
that a man shouldn't bare his soul.

this man lived his life thinking that
life was to always be this way.
thinking abused men should be quiet
without having one word to say.

she lives her life daily and without
losing any sleep at night.
continuing to be the abuser and to
believing that she's still right.

I'm stuck on a major highway
my life's all jammed up.
The wheels are turning, I'm not
moving so I'm just stuck.

My lights are flashing on and off
I'm trying to be cautious.
I want to get out of my car and run
away but I'm much too exhausted.

No matter how hard I've turn the
wheel I just cannot make it move.
I left home early this morning and I
sit now watching the nightly moon.

Getting to the point of how this day
has gone, it's really troubling me.
If there's something positive about this
day it hasn't been revealed for me to see.

maybe the puzzles could be fixed if I only
knew where the right pieces are.
the jagged pieces won't fit if the corners
are all seemly square.

it's hard to keep forcing pieces to fit if they
won't match up.
kind of like trying to fit a big cardboard
box into an eight ounce cup.

the right pieces for my life to get back on
track I can't seem to find.
everything I need to focus on to feel good
it won't seep into my mind.

this heart of mind was made to become
all about the Lord and His joy.
the devil is playing me like a fool just to
make me his own personal toy.

i want out of the devil's game so that I
can find peace in my own game.
i need Jesus to lead me through this
by me calling on His name.

pick up the pieces Lord and help me
to fix my puzzled and confused life.
it's been said by so many others that
choosing you, you will make it right.

disturbed by madness created
by someone other than i.
furiously taken and shaken
by the tears i have to cry.

there's a hole in the wall and
it's created by me.
punched as a sign of relief
it's not happening for me.

terrible this thing that lingers
inside and i cannot escape.
the  damaged delight has taken
many forms and triangle shapes.

stand hand and hand with the
devil if he's not willing to go.
he's directing the steps i take
pulling me closer more and more.

everything has turned upside down
i can't find rest and i can't find peace.
the old world that i grew up knowing
has left me behind and no longer cease.

i'm  frustrated, i'm mortified, i'm penniless
i don't have the *** to carry my weight.
the numbness is so great within my soul
i cry because i have nothing to bare but mistakes.

i'm not myself anymore for so many days, nights
and for so many months and seasons.
i can't feel the hands of God reaching out to guide
me and i can't help but wonder is there a reason.

my faith has all but faded quietly and wistful away
the guidelines of all the rules no longer exist for me.
i want them in front of me, i need their guidance
to lead me back to be the one God intended me to be.

i don't know who i am or who i was suppose to be.
i know that I'm trapped inside this cage of rage.
surrounded by lions and many other ravaging beast.
they sit, they watch just waiting for me to take the stage.

i have nothing to offer but the pain that lies within me
yet it's doing it's best to not allow me to express my needs
i'm broken, sad and the rest of my life has come to an halt
i have lost my will to be able to stand up to  make a plea to succeed.

something is bothering me
and i can't figure it out.
is this what an unstable mind
is suppose to be all about.

i see circles of colors moving  
around inside of my head.
when things should be blue
i see green instead.

the wagon is late getting here
to pick me up.
someone left me a couple of pills
outside my door in a cup.

maybe they see the things that i
sometimes see inside of me.
they're too afraid to tell exactly
what they see.

maybe i'm expected to take this
trip all by myself.
should i keep swallowing pills
until there's nothing left.

it's so much easier for the world
to treat me this way.
seeking my pleasure from a bottle
of pills each and everyday.

How can I love thy neighbor
if I hate his guts.
Why should I tolerate people
who drive me nuts.

Why try to please someone if
I'm not in love.
How can I find a star at night
if I don't look at the sky above.

How can I find a job if I really
don't look.
Why should I care to read mess
that's all over facebook.

Why should I keep backing a
losing sports team.
How could I make reality of a
long lost dream.

How can I find myself if I'm
always loss.
Why should I buy anything if
I can't afford the cost.

silence lingers in the head of a man
who holds so many secrets.
pain lingers in the heart of a man as
he tries to move pass many regrets.

there are so many things that a man
feel the need to say.
but how can the words come about
if pride always get in the way.

who has the right to tell a man what
he needs to do.
what precautions would you take
if a man tried to control you.

if a man decides to dream what should
he dream about.
if he believes that his dream can come
true then who are you to doubt.

a man's secrets and his dreams they both
may coincide.
why tell a man that his dream is only a
secret that he must continue to hide.

things are forgiven but the
scars still remain.
the damage is done and I
sometime feel insane.

my dreams are suddenly
empty craters of dark.
finding life dull and gray
without a spark.

idle moments appear that
cannot be hidden.
a good night's sleep seems
lost and forbidden.

things were done by you
that were so distasteful.
your mine always led you to
believe you were graceful.

there is no escaping the
many things I lost.
you were so determined
to be cruel at all cost.

after all these years I still
find craters so deep.
dark and dreadful dreams
of you I'll forever keep.

thoughts of danger
acts of violence
self pity
always find it's way
inside my dreams.

destruction, malice,
cruelty and fear  
take place
of thoughts
that should be
a smiling face.

hostility
forceful actions
unwarranted
only to satisfy
your dreams.

pointed knives
dangerous hatred
expelled promises
of tomorrows
sunshine.

distance and years
apart
won't erase
the pain
caused by you.

frightful visions
of flying fist
words of anger
unwarranted
evil.

years ago
still here today
it happened
inside my dream
it never goes away.

it's cold outside
want to **** something
but everything is already
dead.

ice has formed
only to melt away
it's suspect and false
nothing solid.

signs of delusional pain
stressed out with
mistaken happiness
emptiness within.

slight winds arrives
cutting like a knife
bruising the heart
it hurts.

no warmth at all
no remedy
an empty bowl
no chicken soup.

hollow as a dead log
decayed and thin
nothing really matters
everything is dead.

dancing and dancing all throughout
the house.

playing hide and seek and a game of
cat and mouse.

a very happy little girl and that's all i
hope she'll ever be.

loveable and having a heart that's wild
and carefree.

childhood memories of how things used
to be for this old broken man.

if things were seen through my old eyes
how much would she understand?

old eyes versus the newly opened eyes
of a brand new day.

would she change the world infectiously
to see things her way?