Yes, you are the reason I wake up in the morning
And the reason I get out of bed
The reason I try
But you are also the reason why I cry so somberly every time I hear a love song
Because I wish our love was as effortless, as clean as the sweet notes played over the song I listen to over and over again as the tears stream over my face
Because I know our love will never be as sweet and as effortless as theirs

Consuming every inch of my existence
Every fiber of my being
Chipping away at every bone in my body
It's never enough
Never skinny enough,
Never pretty enough,
Never enough
I will devour myself from the inside out
And still consume the troubles of others
My mind will stay ravenous
While my body grows hollow

I will always remember the first time your hands touched my skin
Static spewed from your finger tips
And I never felt more at home
Your arms held me tightly
With a child-like love that I haven't experienced in an extremely long time
Your smile makes the sun look like a dim lightbulb flickering in a victorian manor, your eyes glow like satin
You make me happier than I've ever been <3

I look at the menu.
Numbers flood my mind.
The feeling of running on empty consumes every inch of my being.
A faint, boney pattern stains my upper body.
A beautiful image slowly turns into a spindly sketch of an unrecognizable void with protruding ribs and a face lined with salty tears.
A void, consuming the person I used to know

One
Two
Three
I count them individually in my hand
Ten
Twenty
Thirty
There's enough...
With one foul gulp
All of the plain white pills disappear
With every last piece of me alongside it

I'm stuck
My rope is thinning out
Slowly, but surely.
The monster is chasing me
Through every twist and turn of my mind
I don't know where I'm going anymore
I've lost all sence of direction
But the rope is still there
I can go back at any given moment
But I'm afraid to see what's waiting at the entrance