Lonely is just synonymous with scared,
you are scared to be with someone
because once gone, that person is
more or less an end of a part of your life.
So you are not a lonely person,
you are scared and each curse of
that same word is rarely any different

Forget that I stood at your grave,
Let the grace of my tears water plants
Around the radius of your headstone.

Be reminded of the memory of dried eyes,
Whence I was still holding your palms
And the photographs aren’t faced down.

Remember me for when I was happy
Not the man at your gravestone today,
Be reminded of me with you
Rather than the me without you.

Remember how the daisies still grow.

What held by all as nothing
Remains the most memorable part of me
And what could be given up so easily
Is what I cling on with my life.

I can’t write like other poets,
each closest word I can think of,
is merely a cough in a dying body.
I wish I could write of reluctance,
of binding pungent chains tied to a life,
I wish I could write about pretty eyes
and the way they look like sapphires
tossed into a river.
I wish I was more of a poet than I claim to be,
I wish I could write with an aim to leave
behind a spectre of gleam and grim,
but I can’t.
All I know are broken hearts,
and writing this alone is ripping me apart,
because the roses that sat on the field,
is always sweetest when they’re the furthest.
The blue sky cuddles me inside it’s orb,
but I absorb enough light to know-
that no matter how much sunshine I receive,
you still won’t be able to see me.

—
Every girl I’ve ever pursued,
I would be lying if I never gave you my truth,
the truth is I am scared of myself.
They say time helps but over the years
my fears seem only to grow larger
and each day gets harder to go pass.
Now I can tell a joke, make a few smiles
but each mile I walk in my shoes,
the harder it is to stand still.
So I watch the world descend on me
like a rain pouring over a little field,
and dream of a shield to cover myself.
Just...there’s just no umbrella big enough.
So if I’ve ever pursue you,
don’t take the ruse of a happy smile
or the ruse of a joke like manner,
I am rarely ever happy,
but there is a little bit of happiness
in making you happy.
So I would be boldly lying if I didn’t tell you,
that I’m a sad and broken man.
I am not confident, and I don’t know how to pick you up,
but I do know one thing,
I’m happy that you’re smiling.
So I am being honest in saying
your smile is the deposit into my bank of happy memories.
I am not confident and chances are you’ll look through me
but if you could catch a glimpse of me,
remember- I never intended to lie to you.
Remember- I just wanted you to smile.

I have been thinking about love
and how you were my first.
I remembered the time that you
pulled alongside me as I was
walking home and offered me
your comfort and said it’s never
good to walk alone.
That’s how the monsters get lunch,
you said to me.
The echoes of joyfully twisted laughter
sings in my ears and for more
than a minute I enjoyed it.
I watched you put your steps to match
your shadows because it’s never
too good to dwell on darkness.
I knew right then, that I could tie my definition of beauty to the mere memory of you.
And so I did.
Now every separating kiss, I look for your lips
and every hand I hold I watch the bold sudden dodge of shadows.
And it is never there.
Because it only happened with you,
and with you I knew what it was like to be with something beautiful.
So I give you my heart, whatever five fifths to a part of a whole, I give you my heart.

World's apart,
the gates closed,
boarding rooms packed;
stranger faces than truth,
she waits for me on the other side,
so familiar yet so distant,
two hearts connected,
she loves me
and I love her,
but world's apart
and don't think this space will close,
not any time soon.
I'm staring at framed photos,
edited to mesh like wires-
red with red and blue with blue.

I am afraid that the only place
I will meet you again
is deep within my dreams,
and I'm even more afraid
that when I finally get that chance
to meet you all over again,
you won't remember who I was.