Slightly Lovely

Slightly Lovely Sep 2021

s i c k

There are mornings,
where my bed is a casket,
where I do not breath,
I do not see,
I cannot rise,
And I have no life to save,
to cry,
to sleep,
to be anything,
or any more of myself
For I am exhausting,
and I find stillness only in my death.

pmdd, ptsd, and seasonal depression is a rough combo at 6 in the morning

Slightly Lovely Sep 2021

Molten

I want to ravish and scream,
I want to press my tongue into someone's mouth,
I want to press this burning into anyone else
I want it out,
Singed and simmering on someone else's skin,
This smoke so thick it could be solid to rest inside someone else's chest,
I want to cry,
To feel numb
To let everything pour away, and never see it again,
Returning to withered ashes and bones yet again

Slightly Lovely Sep 2021

／(=╹x╹=)＼

I want to crawl inside your skin just to feel you better.
I want you to talk until the end of time,
So I can know your voice completely,
I want to be so intimately close to you,
That we are part of each other's stories.

You are spitfire and tears,
And you're soothing whispers in the night and talks about stars.
You consume me.
You consume everything.
Like the sun.
And I knew I could never hold you down,
So I'll bask in your warmth from afar.
I'll be here, waiting for the next time you want me.
For the next time you break me

(I'm not in an abusive relationship I just have an unhealthy view of how much of myself to give away.)

Slightly Lovely Sep 2021

Can you love a dying thing?

I am a ruiner,
As I gasp for breath,
Heaving my lungs
Desperatly trying to pull upwards
I latch onto you,
Everyone close to me,
Trying just to get to air,
And instead,
I drown you with me
And I'm sorry
But I'm not an Angel
I'm not even lovable,
All I ever do is hurt,
And break,
And ruin.

this is subpar at best :/

Slightly Lovely Sep 2021

Please... Stay

I knew you'd leave,
but I wanted you to lie to me
so I could pretend to be wanted,
just for a moment,
For a breath
A moment
A kiss
A lie

Slightly Lovely Jun 2021

Mother

Right now you are a tulip bud before spring,
And I know you might never bloom,
but I hope you do.
I can count your words.
the ones that shine,
on my fingers.
But I see you reaching for the sun,
growing.
So I will nurture this little hope,
the one I hide in my chest,
that one day, I will have more memories of your support,
than your homophobia

Slightly Lovely May 2021

What if you hurt me (and I liked it)

the scent of the flame
a type of beauty existing in pain
An aching for the feel of a hand in mine,
as if the whole world felt your tears like rain,
an explosion of human understanding,
existing within a single vein.