There are seven wonders of the world
And yet
Three of them are sitting here
Right here
Right now
Having dinner
At home
Alone
With me
Tonight

I have no
regrets
about who we were
just one or two
about
who we are

I hear you
thanks
I hear loudly
thanks
I just choose
not to dance
your dance
while the army of
injustice
make their first
honestly heard
advance

when you left
you left no trace
as if
you were never here
at all

I can give
a little bit
of me
and I will give it
freely
but please
don’t ask
much more
of me

Ask me
honesty
I will do my best
to answer
But we both know
my best will never
honestly
Be enough
for you
Or me too

I am asleep
In this
That much I will admit
Dazed
Crazed
slightly amazed
But
mostly
ghostly
I am honestly
mostly
asleep
In this

I ask you to say something
anything will do
throw me a bone
but I suspect
your words
are torn
like your life
autumnal leaves
scattered
and torn

Tell me this
Do you think you can take
All that I am
When I’m awake

Every step I take
leads me one step
closer
away
from
you

Sisters
Always
Balance

I know nothing
about nothing
but I know
I probably
love you more than
you could ever
love me back
and I am
more than  
all right
with that

Suddenly
Oddly
Weirdly
Bizarrely
I am
Back
In
The room
.

Will you take any of your bad back
or shall I just bury it
deep inside my head
and forget.

I loved who you were
when we first met
these days
you’re just a bad
impression
of me

Don’t worry
I’ve gathered up all  your bad bits
they were scattered across the floor
I liked that you walked away
And never looked back
did you already know
I would,d keep them
temporarily
in my heart

I will lay myself down now
Although I am scared
I will lay myself down now
So you can be heard
I will lay myself down now
Our souls jointly bared
I will lay myself down now
Today we are paired

I throw my words at you
like hailstones
hoping they hurt
you receive them
like God
invisible
silent
barely
a nod

There is a deep steady uncertainty upon us now
not  a one of us knows how
to soothe it with words
instead we answer the battle cry

This is probably
The best that I can be
yes, this is probably
it for me
I would like to offer more
and more
and more
even up the score
but in all honestly
this is probably
The best that that I can be

This is not about
you and me
but more about
who
we think we should
be

There are about three billion words
on the inside of me
on the outside
Man, they are struggling
to be

Beautiful
is misinterpreted
everyday
Beautiful
is strived for
everyday
Beautiful
is cried for
everyday
Beautiful
is before you
everyday
Beautiful
is lost to you
everyday
Reach!

Not sure if I could ever
drink away
the pain
or the hurt
of your memory
the scattering
you left behind
the tattering
of my heart
you scattered
without care
or cause
never  caring
for a minute
the meaning of
because

I would surrender all of this
And my ambition
For just one last glimpse
Of the girl I should have been

You left before me
but
you didn’t take me with
you

You say you never want to leave me
well
let me tell  you
that was about two hours before
you left

don’t listen
to my words
I lie
better than anyone
you have ever tried to love
ever
before.

You played my love
like the sweetest violin
the music so sweet to me
I couldn’t see the begin
I was soaked in gin
I couldn’t see the
begin
the begin
forgive me
I couldn’t see the begin.

Nothing
Will
Ever
Compare
With
Sitting
Here
Just
Being
Totally
Square

those who believe in love
take one step to the right
those who are burnt
take one step to the left
those who still believe
stampede straight ahead
headlong
into the middle .

I believe
this is it
I believe
we got there
I believe
this is enough
I believe
we know
I believe
the scars
won’t show
beneath our clothes
or our eyes
I believe
no-one will  ever hear
our cries

You want me to understand that
you have wasted your life
believing
what your mother said
she believed what she said
she had no choice
but she never wanted you
to believe it too.

You desperately search my eyes for answers
I don’t have
I’m just not that girl
but I will offer you this
it will honestly
seriously
inevitably
one way or the other
turn out all right
or at least
the way it’s supposed
to turn out
for you
one way or the other
Believe.

It is quiet now
The day has left
Shadows appear
As if by request
I am quiet now
My love has left
Ghosts appear
As if by bequest

I have read
Yeats and Kavanagh
Oscar too
How can they write beautiful
while I flounder here
bereft of a phrase
or two

There is nothing I would rather do
right now
than sit right down
beside you
there is nothing than I shouldn’t do
right now
than sit
right down
beside you

Of all the little things
you have given me
the myriad of kindness
you have shown me
well, this
this is the best.

If only the best part
of me
could be a little bit more
like the worse part of you
and you could see that too
then maybe
we could all make
it through

If I were you
I wouldn’t bet on me
the odds are stacked
against the pureness
of your heart

You said
leave me where you found me
and in the leaving
you will find
a better you.

Sometimes when we talk
I am lost
In the joy
That you are
And always will be
The better part of me

I knew myself better
when I wore
another man’s
clothes

Sorry
is not big enough
for this
I know

I
Want
To
Write
One
Word
For
You
And
Only
You
But
No
Word
Presents
Itself
As
Big
Enough

The world is
not about
you and me
Much as we try to make it be
It’s bigger
and better
and about way
more important things
Than
simply
You
And
Me
and who we are desperately trying to
be

Someone once told me
a poem should be long
rhythm and thyme
and take a long time
so love and regret
pain and explain
delete and blame
repeat and destain
let go and restrain
sunsets and more
two people or four
fall down then soar
sweetness and gore
does this really say more
than
I love you
whatever the score!

I remember
birthdays
tiny small blond little girl
birthdays
tall glamorous  blond big girl
birthdays
now
faraway distant missing you
lonely horrible make do
Zoom birthdays

Here is
a  very tiny small part of me
take if you will
just promise
to toss it back
before you leave
so I can catch it
mid air
and save
the little tiny best bits
of me

Let me give you the bits of
the conversation
we should not be having
so we can decide
together
which bits are worth
saving.