I've never want to wake up everyday
And find out that i'm still alive
I've never dreaming for another day
Or inhale another air

Not until I meet you
All I wish, all I hope
Is to meet you
And hug you
And it requires me to stay alive

I wish there will be a day when I stop crying for myself
I wish I could stop hiding holocaust that happens inside my head
when I'm with my loved ones

I wish I'll love myself
as much as I love others

Meeting you is always make me sad. There is something about you that makes me sad and i am really unlucky to not knowing what it is. Maybe its about how you perceive me, or about how you look at me.
I thought relationship is about trust, respect, and love. I know you love me, but i also need your trust and respect.
It is my fault to make you think about me that way. I thought if make you see me the way i wanted you to see me, it'll protect me. But i was wrong. It slowly distroy me through you.
I know i wasn't supposed to love anybody. And be loved by anybody. I thought i deserve that. But once again, i was wrong. I should've let myself dissolve into the air that everyone sip.

I realize
Those smoke and ash doesn't make feel any better
It's just the fact
That i hurt myself
Without stracthing my knife into my skin
That made me love it

The need for certainty
Is the only thing that i seek

Am i in love with you?
Or just the idea of you?

Do I really need someone to be by my side
Or just someone to reminds me that i'm worth something?

But then I realized that it’s not tears of regret or loss
It’s the tears because (s)he didn’t love me enough to just stay
And didn’t even feel the way I do
It’s just unrequited love

Setahun yang lalu kupikir kita akan bersama
Menjadi satu persahabatan yang tak terkalahkan
Walaupun jalanmu berbeda
Aku tetap mengikuti dengan senyuman
Berharap kita memang untuk selamanya

Dua tahun yang lalu aku masih rabun
Berjalan tanpa suara
Berhenti hanya untuk menangis
Tanpa istirahat, terus saja
Menyalahi diri sendiri

Tiga tahun yang lalu aku sendiri
Meluapkan amarah
Dan mau menangnya sendiri
Masih buta akan siapa yang salah
Masih berdarah luka di hati ini

Dari semua jalan yang kutempuh
Kehilangan seperti mati
Tanpa rasa tanpa cahaya
Kemarin tersenyum sekarang bisu
Kemarin bersama sekarang sendiri

Apakah adakah
sedikit saja di pikiranmu
keinginan untuk memelukku,
sebelum kau pergi?