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SW Jul 23
It's not self harm. It's fine
Just a bunch of tic tac toe boards
Made of crimson lines

It's not insomnia
I'm just so excited about life
I want to be awake every second

It's not that I can't eat
It's just healthy to have moderation
And what's more moderate than nothing

Its not depression
It's just a tiny sad
That has lasted a year

It's not a panic attack
I'm just fine
The scream crying is unrelated
SW Jul 23
I live in a shifting sea
An ocean black depth that seeks to drown
Every part of me
Cut. Burn. Hit.
Every tumult and wave demands
The worst I can give myself

A crawling claw from the inky void
My own touch fills me with dread.
Not my hands. But a demon
Living in my head.

Getting drunk of every fear
Feeding every insecurity
Cut yourself. Hurt yourself.
You deserve nothing but pain

Then I'm fine. As quickly as
The words were typed.
The sea calms, the ice in my chest
Melts

But given a moment or stray thought
A single sliver of a chance
This leviathan will return
Hell bent on seeing me dead
Rushing up from this darkness
Gnashing teeth, slimy claws
Living in my head
SW Apr 2021
Nav
Loud disrespectful welp, bone faced Cav
Subdued in soundless sleep, unaware
Here lurks our end, O death stalks us dear Nav
Mine ever foolish sword, dull yet sharp
A prize awaits the dead, not for us
One Flesh, One end, O death hates us dear
Nav
SW Jan 2021
Dark thoughless word *****
An Exhalation when I cant speak
A breath when I choke on these thoughts
As I throw them into a void.
SW Jan 2021
Directionless coward
Lazy selfish ****
How many times must you learn
youre simply not worth it.

No goals. No hopes. No talents or dreams.
"Im doing all I can."

Liar. I want to scream.

Breath caught. Throat tight.
I could never do anything right.
Cant die. Cant swim.
How do I survive the ocean
I find myself in?
SW Jan 2021
Talk to me and I will smile
Joke and I will laugh
Youll never see my darkness
I read somewhere "Eat the path"

Devour the stress turned hatred
Consume the storm in your head
I could probably **** things up
Even when Im dead

Ingest a sickening life
Glutton myself on the cycles
I dont want to be here anymore
But youll watch this sorrow soul
Eat the path.
SW Jan 2021
Seething boiling mass
Thrashing in this bone cage
Overcast black torrent
Perplexed eyes turn skyward
Im supposed to be happy
I thought I had shed it way back when
But i look around and im standing the dark yet again.

Calmness despite the rage
Resignation to the stress
Hopeless, Helpless, Worthless
Life is a stage
And I want nothing but the curtain call
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