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Cat 4d
Fog
When you died;
Everything was different.
How I moved, thought,
And saw the world
Changed forever.

A switch went off in my brain that day
and a fog machine turned on.
And as I try to walk through daily
I become disoriented,
Stumbling through the best I can,
As the machine continues on.
But the fog is getting thicker;
And It’s getting hard to breathe.

I’m starting to get scared,
That I’ll never make it through.
But I’m even more afraid that
Once the fog clears,
There is nothing but dead air left.
Dearest darlings Phoenix my fire birds how I love you how I miss you
My true love my grown children jewels of my crown motherhood
Beloved I too am your Phoenix Mother your first love
Forever and ever treasures adored rddbbajpcasg.
Phoenix bird wild birds of paradise beloved
Golden eggs if mine
Lalasassycoco.
My tragic life full of happiness
Infinite love baby girls my true loves
Forever and ever I love you adore you worship you
Yes I am crying like you are
We are one eternally
Come to me in every lifetime
I will protect you guide you free you adore you worship you.
It's a golden promise
From your Phoenix Mom.
~~~~
https://youtube.com/shorts/wU4zGYBAaSQ?si=YzU01rIFyZPoP_eL
A message to the love of my life too Jpcrdd..

Nothing wrong with feeling hurt as with pieces
We all are, a puzzle of joy or sadness depending on who wants to feel blessed we touched one another in so many ways.
Unfortunately some men some people don't know how to blend in and reciprocate

How to inspire one another for more.
In rare locations a twin soul twin flame is found
And is willing to hurt us enough to force us to see the beast within us and the beauty
To be **** as we are in front of the one we love.
Either we are naive or ignorant or perhaps we are that rare gem who quietly takes it all in for later use for finding treasures even after those left for us were stolen

The one true lover who understands us enough to wish to be puting our puzzle pieces together.
We all are in the same basket of opportunity to not be a fool and to grab or to jump of a dangerous situation.

How many times we must avoid deceit at ocean sea shore or river or lake but we don't and we get shattered and later on  we drown in puddles and feel stained when we should realize life is but a play each of us must play fair fight for Truth and for justice for ourselves and our loved ones if any.
it's of us the few the wise who can jump off at the right time if the vessel is ignited with fire by hidden present two faced criminal minded ones.
Sadly some of us wiser kinder don't jump of our burning bridges or boats or sailing boats and stay fighting more sinister entities than fires from envious,jealousy malice galore even psychopaths.
Who befriend us.

I am a Fantastic amazing Mom demonized trashed
Abandoned
By the very ones I birthed who fell under the spell of psychos I had escaped long ago the habitual drug users the liers the dividers the murderers the poisoners the relentless sterile jealous feme fatales hyenas and the twisted evil boys they manipulate to profit from destroying honorable triumphant human beings
Yes me Angel of light intellect wise Angelina BBA
this Mom triumphed where my enemies all were defeated.
~~
This I write in honor of my absent loved ones
Because I am not a criminal not any thief not a shameless liar not any divider and I am not any child beating beast

Nor any murderer like the murderers for hire the many who are on my tail
To silence me to hide their many crimes against me my family.
Victimizing other many elderly on advantage private Medicare scam plans.
HEY!
Being born in another country near or far don't make me a criminal nor an untrustworthy human being Mom for raising my family alone with honors
fighting all kinds of trash like the sterile wolves who created fraudulent birth certificates for themselves naming themselves mother's to my baby girls.
Imagine what I went through in life for years in USA to keep myself and my family alive safe and well.
My children are the jewels of my crown motherhood
But won't stay around to be butchered get blows
Because they allowed themselves to be assimilated
By teams of murderers for hire and thieves in CA, Bronx New York etc.
I forever love you dearest darlings treasures of mine
Please remember me with compassion justice and with joy.
I am I was I forever remain a best friend best Mom best grandmother but from afar.
Please fly away free yourselves
Stop your hate crime against your own beautiful Mother regardless of nationality social status creed or race.

Be proud of Mexican European Mestizo heritage.
Stay away from Greeks who harmed you at birth and me stay away from haters drug users murderers for hire thieves in USA who claim to be friends they are deadly enemy.
~~~~~~~
By Mrs and Mrs Andrews
All Rights Reserved.
https://youtube.com/shorts/mX41s7Phq-o?si=ZIQjzOvwPtSu7RVe
Heavy Hearted May 19
my mother would sing me
this song as a baby-
remembering,the power of sound.

for three quarters of the year
my mother she would steer
me from dreams to true love.

and that day, when you have gone
melted back into the dawn
I know you'll still hear me somehow.

for you, I will play, every song- in the way
that I know you'll receive, and retain.
Ill play those songs you love ..Me Do!
Hideaway, Over the Rainbow, Mrs. Robinson too


ill play the purest, sweet sound.
In Awe, Ill foster such simplistic beauty
Because the day I sit on that bench,
to play the Piano, as I have throughout my entire life,
The day I inherent it's entirety
That inevitably hollow day...
When only my ears
Feel it's vibrations.
When only my mind
Floats inside it's rhythm.
That day When
you've gone
too.

How will it sound
?
I'm not sure, but that day will come inevitably.
So. I must take great care to hone my skills. Commit to that piano ******* and really- really- get some good jams going for my mother and father to enjoy.
Anais Vionet May 18
I’m enjoying spending time with my mom - we have an intimacy braided like rope. I forgot how funny she is. At the same time, we’ve been softcore arguing for days.

She wants me to accomplish something this summer - to pad my med-school resume - do anything but relax. But I refuse. If I’m going to complete a master's degree next summer, then I’m going to have fun this summer. Periodt. I’m not an automaton for her to wind. Her stress radiates, as I play Animal Crossing on the couch.

I reach up towards her forehead, “Is there an off button?” I ask.
“Go away,” she chuckles, blocking my hand.
Before I turn away, I add, “You’re the most fun when you’re not giving advice or saying the wrong things..”
“Or breathing incorrectly?” She finished my sentence.
“Exactly,” I laughed, “then you’re practically perfect.”

The boys - Peter (my BF) and Step (my stepfather) - sit or stand, uninvolved, outside the action, like we’re in some other dimension - they try and look at anything but us when we’re wrangling.

Poetry time!

The phantoms of my discontent
are held at bay, by leisure,
are mollified by pleasure.

Am I crazy to set boundaries?
Am I lazy, cause I won’t let her chivvy me?
I’ve got my own voice; I’ll make my own choices.
We have the same goals - but I’m in control.

For every plan I’ve got, she has a hundred caveats.
Sure, I’ve done nothing, while she’s done it all.
I’m her little rocket that she doesn’t want to stall.
But she needs to understand, I’ve left the launching pad.
.
.
songs for this…
Mama by Spice Girls
Hey Mama by Kanye West
Mama, I'm a Big Girl Now by Nikki Blonsky, Marissa Jaret Winokur, Ricki Lake, Motion Picture Cast of Hairspray
.
periodt ← slang for absolute period
BLT Merriam Webster word of the day challenge: Caveat: a warning or qualifying explanation to be remembered
Randy Johnson May 12
Today is Mother's Day of 2024.
But you died and you can't celebrate Mother's Day anymore.
You were a wonderful mother and I'm your youngest son.
You died eleven years ago in 2013 when I was forty-one.
You were a kind and giving person and that is a fact.
Being generous was a trait that you sure didn't lack.
It broke my heart and it was painful when you passed away.
Even though you're dead, I wish you a happy Mother's Day.
DEDICATED TO AGNES GREENE-JOHNSON (1948-2013) WHO PASSED AWAY ON MARCH 6, 2013.
Jon Sawyer Apr 10
Your Love,
        extends,
beyond generations.
10 April 2024 - "Ode to Mom"

My mother is a grandmother, as odd as it sounds.
ᏦᏗᏖ Mar 24
Postpartum is a myth
Postpartum anxiety is a myth.
You can’t have those 2 years later.
Get over it.
You can’t have depression and postpartum depression at the same time.
You can’t have postpartum anxiety and anxiety at the same time.
You can’t have both?!
Get over it.
What if I don’t wake up?
Get over it.
Oof that hurt…
Anais Vionet Mar 15
“22½ euros for a Martini,” Peter remarked, when he first scanned the menu.
“It’s not like we aren’t going to get them,” I said, “we’re not going to cheap our way to abstinence." The waiter came and I gave him my card, “Put that table on this card too, please,” (pointing to Charles’s table).

It’s a cool night in Paris and doof-doof music’s slammin’ from a stack of Mackie DJs. It’s about 53°f, but they have those umbrella heaters at every table and other heaters that blew warmer air on the dance floor (maybe not a great idea). Peter and I have a table on the terrace, out under a muted, light polluted starfield.

We danced, we debated the issues of the day, like, when will Taylor dump Kelcie and what were the best Oscar movies? (We chose ‘Poor Things’ and ‘Past Lives’). We ate Steak au Poivre with Red Wine Sauce and then we danced some more. We were having fun.

But when a party turns into ***** mayhem it’s time to leave - or is it? Watching the shadowy edges of things, I asked Peter, “It’s getting CrAzY, wanna go?”
“It’s just getting interesting,” he answered.
I squinted at him, was he serious? I couldn’t tell - martinis scramble my amygdala.
I decided to flow with it. “Ok, freak, get me another then.” I said, calling his bluff, and sliding my glass his way.
As he left for the bar, I glanced at my watch, 2am. It felt like 10 pm to us American east-coasters.

I looked around and Charles and Chinthia (Mrs.Charles) were laughing and chatting away.
‘You GO, old people,’ I thought - not unkindly.
Peter came back, two martinis in one hand, snapping pics with the other.
“Stop!” I barked, holding my hands up like I was fighting off paparazzi, “stop!”
I’ve learned things, like how, in early pics, when we arrive at a party, I look like Mary Poppins - but in end-of-party pix l look like Norma Desmond. Peter doesn’t see it  - but I do.

I sipped at my new drink - It tasted sour and bitter as sin - I made a face. Peter cackled like a villain in a low budget flick. “It’s a Winston Churchill,” he reported knowingly, “they were out of vermouth.”

When the bar runs out of vermouth, it means something. I pressed the walkie-talkie app on my watch and asked Charles, “You guys ready to go?” He didn’t look around but gave me a thumbs-up just before they rose.

My mom and (step)dad have joined us, at Grandmère’s, for this vacation. I was gleeful, at first, but it’s like my mom hasn’t noticed I’m not in high school anymore - that I grew-up in their three-year absence. I get pressed when she thinks I’m slouching, rearranged when my hair’s out of place and shown a pained, icy face if I order a martini.

She’s piercing the membrane of my privacy and expecting obeisance! I tried to explain it, like an adult. “There are multiple value systems,” I gently reminded her. My Grandmère even suggested Peter move into his own room. Luckily, Peter and my rooms adjoin and she put my parents on another floor (in the suite she grew up in).

I’m secretly afraid they’ll be up when we get in, that it’s 10pm for them too and I’ll get ‘the face.’ I told Charles about my situation and he said, “Look, she’s missed you, she’s just lavishing you with attention, she’ll relax,” but his oceanic optimism seems.. hopeful. We’ll see ??
BLT Marriam Webster word of the day challenge: Obeisance: an acknowledgement of another’s superiority.

doof-doof = a type of ‘HardTrance’ music
Mackie DJs = a favorite brand of speakers used by party DJs

our cast
My Grandmère = grandmother (in French)

Peter, my bf, a physicist who works at CERN, in Geneva. His job’s to break things and see what happens. We’ve been ‘together’ for about 2 years - I use ‘together’ loosely because, well, Geneva and New Haven.

Step (Stepfather) is an invasive cardiologist, he and my mom have been married for eleven years. He’s my dad v2.0

My mom is an anesthesiologist - they tend to be perfectionists. She has three children - one is a surgeon (my sister Annick), one is in med-school (my brother Brice) and then there’s me - the weak link - she’s heavily ‘invested’ in my absolute everything.

Charles and Chinthia - Charles, a retired NYC cop, is my long time escort, driver and surrogate parent. Cynthia, his wife of six years, (also an ex-cop) is a VP for a cyber-security company.

Norma Desmond = faded star in “Sunset Boulevard' (a must see movie)
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