I tore a piece of starlit sky
right from a summers night.
And I turned it into a drawstring bag
to hold these last things tight.
I gathered sunlit memories,
of much more happy times,
colored with the smiles of us,
from the time when you were mine.
I placed the memories in the bag,
and thought for just a moment,
of silent cuddels and forehead kisses.
All the days when we weren't broken.
I placed those thoughts with the memories,
in my stary bag.
As I sang a song you'd sung to me,
whenever I was sad.
As my voice carried the words,
Of "you'll be in my heart".
I dropped them a little bit recklessly,
and they almost fell apart.
I took those precious moments of love,
I added one more thing in there.
A little piece of notebook paper
on which was written the promises we'd shared.
Our life, our plans, and dreams of family.
The future that we had planned.
All gathered up together now
in that stary bag.
I took it to the beach last night
right before sunrise.
And just before I sent it off
into the oceans rush,
I added one last simple kiss
Into the bag,  that held
the
       last
             of
                 us.

I thought it was written in the smoke
That extinguished all our jokes
Filling air as we both choke
On the firing line

And when it was seven until
I headed out west for the hill
And I threw up those pills
Without saying goodbye

But still I will always return
Like I want to get burned
In a love I’ve unearned
For the rest of our time

I thought it was written on the wall
That had cushioned my fall
From the blowback assault
From the one wanting you

And when I gave up on the bridge
I remembered your kiss
And I swore off that *****
As I stumbled away

Far from it being mine to know
16 years of pain, maybe more,
Far from it being mine to show
The stars to follow back to shore.

I do not know where you may be,
I do not know the currents there;
Far from it, mine to know the sea,
Far from it, mine your soul to bear.

Far from it, when you rise to cut the line,
Far from it, when you cut all ties to me;
I can't be yours, I offered what is mine:
A hand to guide upon a darkened sea.

So you finally
Got the guts
To migrate...

To give a guy
A chance
When you know it
Ends the same..
As the song before

Told you to knock
Down these walls
And build a door
Instead ya didn't
do a **** thing

But diss
And disappointment me
Did I expect
It to explode

With all your
Odes and empty promises
Love bombing
Cuz you wanted me

Now it's
"Our views are just too different"
You're "confused" and your too distant
To the point where I'm


Sitting,
Waiting,
Wishing



On You
Yet again

Laying still on my side of the bed
Won’t open my eyes, won’t turn my head

Our pages lie defeated on the floor
Kisses on the wall but ink on the door

Love I refuse to share with new
And so remain reserved for you.

It gives me peace, we tasted forever
Cuddled to dreams, before we severed

My heart smiles only to your touch
Your empty gloves I tightly clutch

As we twirl the days into blank unknown
I sing our song, ‘cause it’s ours to own

I sing and I cry
Teardrops burning dry

‘Till I finally dare look
At the ashes of our book

We pick up our pens in slow-motion glory
And continue to write, each our own story

Our hearts beating on to the rhythm of our metronome
Now, I must leave, but I won’t forget home.

When I’m in the dark
All I want is him,

Blurred silhouette warm to the touch,
Skin to skin in the dim.

When the contours in the corners loom,
Hold me without sight.

In the dark, and nothing else,
We are one shadow, slight.

When the lights come on,
Unfortunate details grow.

Like a **** from a crack,
A blemish in the snow.

In the savage of the day,
The barriers of our skin discrete,

We just can’t make sense,
When light and eyes meet.

The cold seeps through the beggar's hands,
Clinging for warmth, slowly fading.
The sun is far from him right now,
He cannot chase it.

His sun shined away from him;
For he is no use,
For he is not special,
For he is but a dog.

Obligated to stay and be abandoned;
Abruptly and forced to wait,
With no warmth and sunlight.

The man can be replaced but not the sun.

In the echoes of our past, I hear the whispers of pain, etched in the silent space between us. Desperately wanting to be heard, but never speaking.

Conversations, woven with threads of betrayal, pierce through the fabric of our trust, binding us to a truth we both deny.

"It was just a kiss," you said, words dripping with regret, but your lips carried the weight of secrets buried beneath deceit.

Months stretched into years, each moment a battleground, where truth surrendered to silence, and lies built walls around us. You put me up into the air, told me I was safe, then let me fall to my knees and scream.

How could you be so impulsive, reckless with the fragments of my heart, reaching out to her in moments of doubt, while I crumbled beneath the weight of your betrayal?

You saw my pain, felt the tremors of my shattered trust, yet chose the path of deception, leading us further into darkness.

A partnership fractured by deceit, where love withers in the shadow of your unspoken truths, leaving me stranded in a sea of confusion and abandonment.

Still, I hope to blossom like the cherry blossoms outside our window, yearning for the sunlight that passes more dimly than the uncertainty I have of you.

I am tormented by the treachery of knowing the truth and never escaping the past. I cannot bear the burden of your lies, nor should I be the keeper of secrets that poison the life of our love.

I must love myself enough to walk away, to leave behind the wreckage of a future tainted by betrayal, and find solace in the quiet embrace of my own truth.

******* though.