I never could've known the life we'd have
When we were young and drunk on discovery.

When you walked into my life like light flooding a room,
I never could've imagined what we'd build together.

As I hold the children you gave me in my arms,
The culmination of our intertwined hearts,
I feel so rich and full and satisfied.

I didn't know then, but I know now, just how beautiful it is to open your heart to another.

As a non-golfing husband I revel at tales
Of sunshine filled days chasing small *****,
Some in the rough others in sand,
All these brave girls fighting nature's pitfalls.

I hear of the times the flock of wild ducks
Hindered a drive that was perfectly hit,
And what of those trees that magically moved
With a subsequent shout 'I just want to quit'.

But then I'm regaled with feats of great skill
Such as the time a Birdie was made,
Out comes the flask, big glugs all around,
Magical moments that no-one would trade.

They say Golf's a passion a lifelong pursuit,
One day may be heaven the other pure hell,
Neither cool mornings nor that full midday heat,
Apparently stops that will to excel.

Yet there's one thing I notice each week,
Yes the real pleasure from playing the game
And what's not to like from those magical views
But without one's good friends the day's not the same.

So to all poor Golf widowers awoken by shrilling alarms,
Then never quite knowing what time we'll see our fair brides,
There's a much higher calling we can but embrace,
'Happy wife happy life' the true gift this pastime provides.

You said you saw our baby last night,
The one we will never have;
Our dream baby.

I was holding her
Against my shoulder
Blanket pulled up around her little head
And I turned to you and said something banal,
Like grab the bottle from the fridge, darling.

And we have found each other beyond
The years of babies.
You have yours and I have mine, already,
And they have all reached the far side  
Of dog-tired  
Midnight dream feeds
In a cedar rocking chair.

You and I have both already been
There;

This continent we will never walk together.

But I feel her now,
Our dream baby,
In everything.

She rests there in the gentle way you caress my face
As starlight plays across the blankets.
She clings close to your laughter,
Curled inside your fervent and unrelenting
Belief in me.

And in the mirrored chambers of your hazel eyes,
When I am laid beside you and softly
Humming my mother’s
Oldest
Lullaby;
It is there, I can feel her smile,
Our dream baby,

A love beyond ages,
A sacred creation
Between your soul and mine.

Look at you, you stupid b*tch,
Hanging from the rafters,
Despite being cold youre still
So fat, one too many afters.

If I had to list all the ways
That you so let me down,
The first one would be long ago
That you refused to drown.

Look at you, you're so fat,
And don't you blame the baby,
It's been eleven days since you
Had him, go on a diet maybe.

Look at you.
Just look at the state of you.

I love him
For five days out of a fortnight
Sometimes less
We spend more time talking
About how much we miss each other
Than we do making up for the lost time
Our five days every fortnight
Are split between his family and friends
And my work
So we end up with weekends
I love him for two days out of a fortnight
And I miss him for 261 days a year
We spend time more time fighting
About how to spend our time
Than we do spending it together
Our bank accounts are more connected
Than sometimes it feels like we are
I get to love him two days out of a fortnight
The same amount of time spent on that plane
Sitting next to strangers
Working for those two days just the same
I love him for one third of the year
The rest I deal with the pain
Patiently waiting for him to come home
And say that was my last day