This version of me, no more sad memories to follow
A heart that didn’t know how to love so bitter and hallow
This version of me more laughter and less pain
So many things that I endured will never feel the same
I’m letting go of all the bad things, they no longer have power
I spent hours and hours of being bitter and sour
Searching for love, searching through lust
So many broken promises, so many broken trusts
This version of me, I intend to keep the biggest smile
Im controller of my happiness
New editions tend to keep me at my best
To stay happy forever, you’ve brought me to my best
My best state I usually complain
Something about your soul just not the same
The only reason I’m not the same
The same, I could never be the same with you
I grow to be better once I obtained you
Filled with such peace, I never knew I could have peace
I hope you stay forever with me
, Please don’t ever hit release…

Some pain is unbearable a burden that never seems to rest
How could I be cursed yet so blessed
Memories in my head
Things I can never seem to make clear
Steering from sober
I don’t know where I’ll end
So much on my mind
I can’t even think steady
Will I go back to normal
I don’t know if I’ll ever be ready
I just know that I’m here and enduring this pain
A pain that has brought me so much shame
A pain felt deep within
Unlike anything I’ve ever felt
Worst than any burden I ever given or received
I just can’t cope with the thought of you not loving me
How can you think
How can you see anybody but me
So selfish to think I could have you all to me
Why does it hurt and make my mind run wild
I cannot control my thoughts I just wanna sit and pout
I thought I’d be stronger
I thought maybe it would hurt less
But the more I face my fears the more I realize
I realize things will never be the same
How could it?
How could it ever be the same
I just wish I could block out the intense feelings running through my brain
Thinking of intimacy not coming to me
So strange to say my love still never leaves
I don’t know if I deserve anything far from this
Everytime I look at you my mind instantly reminiscing
About all the good times of the past the pain that made us who we are now
5 years of blessings blessed to still be moving forward
I wish no pain like this on anyone cause now all I see is you
To be back in love
I don’t know what that would prove
I don’t know if we should unite I wish I knew what to actually do
Cause the truth is I’m still in love with you 😢

The day has come, that we must say goodbye
The time has come that everything must come to an end
Just as briefly as it began
No more dragging it along
No more trying to force it to work
No more wondering do you have to lurk
So goodbye to the best, and hello to the future
Hello to the new things
So the anger can stop and there won’t be no more whirlwinds
Show me the path and that way I will follow
A place where only a few can stand, because it seems so hollow
Look up and look out
Reach up and reach down
A new life I’ve seem to found
I’m trying to pick up what fell and be on my way
So everything will be ok
Just no the frost will never melt away
To you I’m a stranger, just like someone you’ve never met
A thing of the past
A heart I never kept
The end is surely coming
I just feel it within
There’s so many things to review before I can begin
You got that look in your eye
That look of uncertainty
The look that lets me know you’re not sure
A look that’s telling me you put everything in this choice
So how do I silence all of these noises?
I want to understand, I just love to listen
Your words were so cruel, but I couldn’t dip in
I just had to let it happen
I had to let you do it on your own
No more late night calls or being on the phone
So many things that flashed in front of me
Making it hard to decide
Whether I wanted to let go or stay by your side
So many reviews I had to go through
The long process of letting go of you
Deciding what memories I wanted to keep
What memories I wanted to remember
There’s no other way to tell me goodbye
Then saying “I no longer what to be with her”

The day has come, that we must say goodbye
The time has come that everything must come to an end
Just as briefly as it began
No more dragging it along
No more trying to force it to work
No more wondering do you have to lurk
So goodbye to the best, and hello to the future
Hello to the new things
So the anger can stop and there won’t be no more whirlwinds
Show me the path and that way I will follow
A place where only a few can stand, because it seems so hollow
Look up and look out
Reach up and reach down
A new life I’ve seem to found
I’m trying to pick up what fell and be on my way
So everything will be ok
Just no the frost will never melt away
To you I’m a stranger, just like someone you’ve never met
A thing of the past
A heart I never kept
The end is surely coming
I just feel it within
There’s so many things to review before I can begin
You got that look in your eye
That look of uncertainty
The look that lets me know you’re not sure
A look that’s telling me you put everything in this choice
So how do I silence all of these noises?
I want to understand, I just love to listen
Your words were so cruel, but I couldn’t dip in
I just had to let it happen
I had to let you do it on your own
No more late night calls or being on the phone
So many things that flashed in front of me
Making it hard to decide
Whether I wanted to let go or stay by your side
So many reviews I had to go through
The long process of letting go of you
Deciding what memories I wanted to keep
What memories I wanted to remember
There’s no other way to tell me goodbye
Then saying “I no longer what to be with her”

My thoughts, my head, everything seems to turn into a reality
To think such actions could turn into a tragedy
To think the things I said meant so much to you
To sit and think to you is who I owe my apology
Every bone in my body seems to be bothering me
Is it guilt, is it your words, maybe the dreams
Every temptation isn’t as good as it seems
It wasn’t good, it just took my mind off of the good things
Everything that had you in it was good
But things to me was never clear or understood
Complaints, complaints, complaints, is all I hear
My mind never seems to rest
It never seems to settle
All the thoughts in my head seem to be put in this message
So heaven sent, so perfect, but my mentality was never right
I love you, yet I made this big mistake
To distance myself and make you go away
To be gifted with such a cruel punishment that never took my feelings away
My punishment, my punishment, my punishment, good lord my punishment
Made me grow, but yet I feel weak
It took days, weeks, and years just to settle my heart
Loving you I never regret, not showing my love, not giving you my best
My unsure mentality lead to such a tragedy
To my future lady the thoughts of this might keep you mad at me

Betrayal comes in many forms
Many ways, different days
How can I act normal when deep down I’m not okay
How can your actions show something different with my presence
How could you dare deny me
Sometimes there’s no mask needed
When your actions are on display
Crazy how it seems so hidden
When it’s directly in my face
Such a burden to such a strong soul
How could they do you so bitter and cold
How do you fend for yourself
When you have yet learned from the past
A tender heart within your grasp
Show me more than you can tell
Words mean nothing when your actions show different
Tell me could you last if you was in my position
I hold no one to that standard
A standard of being all alone
Tell me how could you dare betray someone who’s been there all along
These masks seem to be half worn
Worn whenever you seek help
I show my complete self
Maybe I should mask up so you can get a taste of how it feel
One day you’re gonna suffer as much as I did
From a innocent child to a kid
I hold no remarks no shame and no lies
Til you feel what I feel you will always wear this disguise

A deep form of intimacy
When I hold you while we lay
You have the perfect body
But never be afraid
I love the way our bodies feel
When we’re laying when we connected
I know you always seemed to like when I would be so affectionate
You love the attention and the love I love to give
I held your heart in my hands
I promise to always keep it safe
Everytime I get unfocused but I just know right here’s the place
There no mistake we’re here
There’s no need to ever cry
Your gentle touch but timid heart
I know you afraid of goodbyes
Heart break after heartbreak
Left your mind and heart shattered
You’re sure of what you want
Just afraid it may not be any good
Not but one chance
There’s no way you’re taking that chance
You want love in return for your love in advance
Your love is automatic
So if you speak it you mean it
You’re pure heart attracts all the wrong attention
You try to give the benefit of the doubt
Even if repeatedly you mention
You break my heart just listen
I will soon fade away
I love you but I know hurt
But please don’t run away
This intimate conversation
The whispers I here in my ear
Seem to walk me down a path of unreal
You give me an impression I never felt
A high I cannot come down from
Your very spirit uplifts me
Tell me why I get so high off of you
Contemplating how a loveso strong can contain my whole mindset
Got me thinking of my past mistakes
So many regrets
Your lovings sacred I’ll protect it at all cost
This warm embrace wraps around me and I’ll never forget
The intimate conversations that left my mind with regret