Will I always debate the futility of it all
or will the realization dawn on me somehow
I cannot contemplate for ever
something that is of no consequence what so ever
I need to shut off the lights
and go on towards the dark
shut off the brain and embrace oblivion
shun the life and make love to death
sooner or later, sooner why not

Have written a million words
still there is want for more
have wandered a thousand miles
still no destiny in sight
each day pegs a new hope
some of it denial
some of it pure hope
struggle to keep my sanity
fails me at times
there is life and love beyond lucidity
so i like to believe
the smoldering bars keep me captive
scare of burns keeps me in check
scarred beyond recognition
I try to find myself in mirror
witness I do, a shadow of a ghost

did you see the leaves fallthe clutter on the roadsall the shades of brown and yellowthe winter would be long this yearI don't dread the coldnor do I fear the depressing morningsbrooding afternoons are welcomeas are restless eveningsbut there is no spring in offingno promise of summer as far as i can seethe winter would be long this time aroundthe chill is setting in my bonesmy heart has gone all but coldsome times there is a flutter at the corebut thaw is no more in sightthe clots are beginning to formthe hurt oozes out of wounds stilleach passing day is endearingeach morbid thought welcomethe hush after the rushthe summer that lasted a bit too longthe winter promises to last a long time too

I read a book
it doesn't seem to end
thousand pages i have read
and yet the end is nowhere near
characters keep appearing and vanishing
no apparent design no apparent destiny
sarcasm without wit
irony without intent
maybe i should finish this chapter
close the book and pick up another one
Perhaps I have to read this one
cover to cover

a trail of talking pictures
it seems like the soap opera
it never ends
new twists, new plots
new actors for old cliches
facts stranger than fiction
no sir, no truth here
just an unabashed indulgence
no shame, no remorse
take it or leave it
but leave it i can't
the reels keep rolling
am glued to the spot
till end credits roll out

I witnessed death the other day
a giant came from behind my left
missed me by a few feet
carved an arc towards my right
mangling everything in its way
for a moment there was deafening silence
followed by a wail from a child
then the honking to get out of way
people rushing to destinations
destinations important than crushed humans
I stopped for a few moments
then continued on my course too
shaken but not stirred

Untouched, Unfazed, Unmoved
A place to rest, re-vitalize
fill up the venom before another crusade
Forget all, remember self, just the self
No love no hate, couldn’t care any less
Caught amidst strangers, but stranger to none
Long lost look in the eyes again
Amnesia in setting, peace in offing
How long will it last
Hope for a lifetime

Open the door and usher in some light
watch the dismal darkness fade away
question your sorrow, your beliefs
ponder what was good, forget the bad
bury the visions that haunt you
they are but ghosts of time gone by
no one to speak to, nothing to speak about
all that ails me is in my head
a smoke filled room, where I cannot breath
a lost love that I can't feel
blind to plight of people around me
I walk like the ghost of my dreams
obsessed with self and all that i desire
time heals all and time is my recluse
but till that happens, pain is all mine

Am an animal
a pig, an ape, a wolf
satiating the instincts, is all I seek
then I wear the robe of intellect
and have a mental ****.