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Zoe van Beever Jan 2019
It is the most dreaded part of the year
I push the cold silver doors of boston ballet and enter the smelly studio
Anxiety hits me and I question why i'm there, is it even worth it?
I reassure myself as I tie the thin strings of my satin ballet shoes that this what I want to do in life
I head up to registration and grab number 21, my lucky number
It's a sign, right?
I enter the room and my cheeks turn as pale as snow
The auditioner is staring me up and down, I know it's because I don't look the part
I return her gaze with a soft smile, hoping it makes up for my body even though I know it won't
I can't change that
I set up at the barre and as soon as the pianist presses the keys I am in my element
I feel an ignition in my body as I start to move and sparks of joy are set in my blue eyes
-
I hit fifth position
She says “you will be emailed your results in 2 weeks” to the perfect group of ballerinas in front of me
That was a fast hour and a half
I gather my things and I hear a soft voice asking about number 21
wait, I'm number 21
I am numb and frozen
I turn and slowly walk up to her trying to hold and sustain grace in my weeping shoulders
She turns to me and tells me there has been an opening in the company and she believes I am the best fit
I'm glad I walked through those cold silver doors of Boston Ballet.
100 · Jan 2019
Your First Day
Zoe van Beever Jan 2019
You told me that it was your first day
I didn't believe you
You held too much confidence as you made my hot chocolate
It was rare of me to order a hot chocolate
I wanted to test him
You didn't question anything as you strode back to your workspace
53 seconds pass
He hands me the blue cup
That was quick
I unzip the golden seal of my wallet
3.40, please
He says, with a disapproving smile
This can't be your first day I think to myself
I pay and say thank you, trying to be as polite as possible
I walk away and sit next to the cozy comfortable fire
I wait to sip my hot chocolate knowing that it will be piping hot because of the warmth in my hands
3 minutes and 42 seconds pass
I slowly take a sip of the warm chocolate
It was definitely his first day

— The End —