maybe, i should have loved you.

Dear, Mom.

They once said that
A mom's love is the best kind of love in this world.
But, when it comes to us, it was different.

Up until now,
I don't feel that you care about me,
But i realized, you never will.

It seems like i don't matter to you,
The fact you didn't fought for me,
Or leave an explanation why you left.


The pain you've caused me,
It's deep, unbearable and
wrecking.

Sometimes i ask myself
"What if she came back?"
Can i bare of seeing her?* *"No!"

If there's something i want to do or say,
I'm going to push you away,
For you have left me without a warning.

It's 23:40,
i finally accept the fact, you  *never did love me."

So, now. If you ever want to come back, please don't. It took 8 years for me to be whole again.

Now, i just want you to know. i loved you but it seems that it wasn't enough for you to stay.


j.d.p

Alam ko ikaw ay lilisan,
Iiwan ako ng walang pahintulot,
Ang pusong hindi pa handa,
Ikaw'y hahanap hanapin.

Pilit hinahanda ang sarili,
Upang pag ikaw'y lumisan,
Ito'y matanggap ng pusong,
Pilit isinasara mahalin ka.

Ngayon, ikaw'y lumayo na,
Bakit tila, hirap ang puson',
Iniwan tanggapin na wala ka na,
Sa aking piling.


Bakit kung kailan ako'y naghanda,
Dun naman labis ang sakit,
At dakot ng hapis sa aking puso,
Na iyong iniwan.*

J.D.P

My sadness makes no sense,
Like what you said.
It's substandard
It's self-absorbed
It's not fine.

My cheerless comes from rejection
Rejection to accept me
To the world
From myself
I dread of rejection

My sadness secrete in my shadow
Behind my smile
Behind my laugh
Behind my happiness
This sadness is forbidden

My sadness comes from waves
i am drowning,
sinking,
but slowly dying
still smiling

This kind of sadness is verboten
So i covert
With my pen
And a paper
To write a poem

This sadness made a scar in my heart; a mark that will be remembered
And i'm sorry that this sadness hurt you, the way it hurt me.
Just like you, i hate this feeling overwhelming, and i'm sorry.

j.d.p

Gusto ko malaman, mahal mo pa ba ako?
Kasi baka mamaya, pinagpalit mo na ako.
Gusto ko malaman, ngayon, ako pa ba?
Kasi baka mamaya, wala na palang pwedeng maging "tayo"

Yun lang naman, gusto kong malaman

j.d.p

I'm sorry for everything-
I've said,
I've done,
I've promised,
I've lied,
To you.
I'm sorry for telling you that,
I want,
I need,
I love,
You.
I'm sorry that i showed,
Too much affection,
Too much care,
Too much love,
Too much attention,
On you.
I'm sorry because you're always the answer to all these question:
Who i want?
Who i need?
Who i love?
* It always end with YOU. *

-J.D.P

I never saw someone brighten his face when he hears a girl's name,
I never heard someone to honestly tell someone they like, face-to-face,
I never thought that someone who's falling,
Can pick himself because of a girl.

But, is that what you call love?

When all of a sudden,
The smile turns to be fake,
The words turns to be a knife,
The thoughts turns to be a nightmare,
The feelings are surreal.

Is that what you call love?

Putting a girl who likes you in a situation that you can use her when the "love of your life" once turned her back on you?
You can't do that.
You just can't make someone feel special and you're going to say "she's an option."

Why does someone need to get hurt in this thing call "love"?
When they just simply want to feel the love that is tender yet pure.
A love that is so true, that will set you free.

She just want you to appreciate what kind of love she never intentions she'll get into,
A love that's breaking her right now, but also a love that can fix her once your love find it's way.

I just want to tell you, oh boy. If you have no plans of catching her, please, ******* leave her, i don't want her to waste every single moment of her life with you, especially if it's just going to break her heart in the end.

If you said yes,
Then that's it.
You should not have second thought,
Because you'll just hurt someone.**

j.d.p

My intentions is not to fall in love with you,
I just want to play and make fun of you-
I like the way your cheeks turns into rosy one-
All throughout I never thought,
I was ******* falling in love with you,
I can't imagine within forty eight hours,
you ******* broke my heart.*


j.d.p

and you let me feel,
that somehow and somewhere along the line,
there's a chance you will love me,
more than you **loved her

Words are not enough to express what I feel,
I'm ****** up with broken sentences,
You broke my heart within twenty four hours without even touching me,
You left a scar across my heart that would never fully heal,
I was hurting, you didn't seem to care,
You looked at me like I was needing sympathy, all I wanted was for you to understand me.
I was giving up on you,
My mind wants to forget everything,
but my heart keeps on holding,
hoping things will get better.
Forgetting you in my mind,
but the things you caused in my heart,
holding on that you would still love me,
even you've caused too much pain.
My mind wants to forget you badly,
but my heart is still aching you would love me, you still care, it's still there.
But- how long am I going to wait for a love that causes too much pain inside of me?
why am I still wanting you badly?
what is the reason my heart is still holding on you?
You were a storm,
You came into my life,
Calm but slowly landed on me,
That made a huge impact that you've destroyed me.
You left me & now I'm a disaster.
What have you've done to my heart?
It was innocent,
and especially pure.
Now,
It's empty,
My soul is tired.
You killed me inside.


*j.d.p

i feel like i used to be your favorite pack of cigarette that you used to bit me and open me again and again but then it comes to the point it was empty and you decided to throw me away*

jdp