Living in darkness,
Blind to understand.
Hoping to know what’s happening,
Not in belief, people who love me turned to discrete.

I’m like an innocent child.
Lost,
Faded knowledge.
Following what’s no best.

Smiling when the sky is blue ,
Rising sun, happy flow.
Sunsets am blue.
Black rivers flowing out of my eyes,
As poison leeks on the floor.

I die little by little, no one knows.

By:Zoulaikha

Attacks.
Tears, pillows only know
My breath is caught
Makes you wonder if its the end.

Unjustified panics
I thought I got better
Flash backs
My tears, are blood flowing

Anxiety crippling
Breathe, Breathe, Breathe
No supply
Trying my best to love me through it

Plans shaking
No words racing
My mind erasing
What can I do?

Can't Call
No words to say
Overwhelmed,
My only escape is to disappear

Please leave me alone
I've been good
I stopped taking what I love
But you're still here

Alone
Pushing all that I love away
A monster in disguise
You're the tattoo I never asked for

I've been good for so long
Didn't think it'll go wrong
My body's uncomfortable with me
It's planning my end

Anxiety
Thought my mind was responsible
Now my heart with the mind of its own decided to join
Why are they so committed?

My body is cold
I'm trembling from the heat
You said you care, but there you are uninvested
Maybe if I get attached to you, you'll also leave

By: Zoulaikha

I'm just being me
I don't know what you see
I called you all weird
I broke your heart
Stopped all the shakin' and swayin'
The sooner you left
My heart fell in water
But couldn't drown itself

I guess it's just me
But i couldn't see
Until karma hit me and dragged me along
'will you come back'
The fear keeps racing
They say "writing a love song is hard"
But i keep scripting our story on notepads
Me and you
Just me and you everywhere I go

It's all crystal clear
I could've seen
It's too late
My mind is all crazy
I needed you
You're too far from my door now
It keeps raining

Don't know what to do without you

Guess it's just me
I don't know what i see
I'll let myself fall until i hit the ground
Thinking  "Don't know what I'd do without you"
But I'll gather my broken bones and leave

By Zoulaikha

3 am wake you up to sit and talk.
But the sound of your breathing, the sound of your voice,
The sound of the feeling, the sound of our kiss.
The feeling of you wrapped around my hips.

6 am up, thinking of you
While poetry is the language I choose, for my visionary awareness of the experience you arranged, to create the emotion, I'm trying to erase

9 am we both do separate things,
Me wondering what would have been, if i were by your side
I gasped a little mesmerizing the thought.

Hour by hour
Time passes by
I am hollow inside
Tik tok,  tik tok
Still a black void
Floating on earth but not very far

12 am you come along
Setting me free to outer space.
Holding my hands to keep warm, to pull me closer to position a fire deep inside me.

By: Zoulaikha

Haven't done this in a while, but I got a pile
Its funny how I've got speech but I'm speechless
"She said it first" you'll say, all I know is once upon a play
Holograms  of cats, aren't I full of poetry

Styles of fear is what brought us near
"Alas" its us and I don't want it to fall apart
Rivers of coffee, we drank with a frown  
Aches in our stomchs as we chuckled but withdrawn

Mysteries hidden in silent patients
But you're the girl with a guide
I'll call it what I want, but you're the one and its been fun.
I'm sitting here on a Saturday where it all begun.

Again, "you're power, full of beauty"
Again, "its majestic. Are you dimond jewellery?"
Rewind, your childhood, its now, its us!
Rewind, the scent of the rain you're just a child

Call me, when you need me
I'm the shoulder, I'll be your shelter
I'm following the lead, you're my light
Don't worry I'll dust the rust off you'll shine bright

**

Stars Aligned, Rights Abirth
Zodiac defined, you don't wanna be at earth.

By: Zoulaikha

Our skies are unique colors
But mine seem fades the color
Using pastels to paint my sky
Snow be feeling hotter than the sun
Summer time be colder than winter trips
Clay becomes sticky while glue feels firm and dry
Communication going down hills so steep

Melanin increases as I get closer to your touch
As your touch deepens into my soul
You set fire on fire
Oh you're a sweet melody as it crumbles on my lips
You’re the ear warm that won’t leave but has left me all alone
“look the stars” they say
But all I see is dark.

Sleeping feels like death
Survival feelings  like work
Rainbows

By:Zoulaikha

Gorgeous  deep almond eyes
Hard to find honesty
Alluring, can't find my words to say,
Intoxicating, silenced conversations
Dazzling heart, keeping me awake
An unexpected good morning, started ..
New born feeling, its hard to explain

Genuine questions, forever gentle you'll be
I don't look into peoples eyes
You looked deep into my soul,
I couldn't help but catch my breath
Cause' your deep brown eyes have golden flecks as if its lightning in a pitch-black sky

Heart shaped face, singing it own poem
As you love the music but never sing along
Stars and hearts covering your skies, as my prayers for you will forever rise  
Conversations, one to another at 2AM
Now its 12pm, time flies and its time to say goodbye

A cool breeze
Warm hands,.. you reached out
Your care confused me, that confused you
The look on your face, I wonder  
I catch myself smiling until the end  

If its immeasurable time we've talked,
Will it make it illicit?
Lets keep that for another negotiation
Its hard not to thank you every time I'm maimed
Your 'welcome'  is held close to my heart.

Dawn is where, why, when
If they ask, that's what you say
Although knowing you, it'll be the smile
Searching
Can't find my words

An interesting feeling
I always know what to say
But here I am at your presence not knowing a thing
Laugh,
"I don't know" is the most phrase you've heard

Now, help me end this
Even while I'm quite I can go for days
Lets be classic..
"Are you sleepy yet?"
It's never how it ends, usually how it starts

You are quite  the wonder why

By: Zoulaikha

The creator designed earth as if its art
Humans thought they only have mind and heart
If the the slightest proportion was out of sight
The black hole explosion wouldn’t have lead scientists to fight

You know the lord loves beauty
But as they created what’s before me
I knew if your scent traveled to hell, the fire would cool
Eyes drawn to the desert making colors drool

I knew then.
If the devil laid his eyes on you he would feel the weight of his sins and repent.
Your lips hide mysteries I beg them to present
You keep thoughts running to “when?”

Lucifer was blind as the fear rushed
Lucifer the king was only made of fire
Only could see what has flushed
But the beauty before me

Will forever be mine

By: Zoulaikha

Hour ticking, 16 seconds I finally spoke, as we ended.

And I, traitor to my own heart,
gave you a whisper, in the shape of ur name
when I meant to hand you a sonnet.

An answer I thought translates the weight it holds
You thought “run” in your head
But language folds in on itself?

You,
half-memory, half-mirage, never fully in my grasp,
but always in the air I inhale like second thoughts.
My messy brain strangling words that could’ve been said like

You are the pauses between breaths when I don’t realize I’m holding mine.

That you exist,
In fingerprints on coffee mugs, everything just bright
In shared silence, In awkward unfinished punchline
we both start smiling before they’re even told.

I could have shaken my head a little, maybe then it’ll be simple and exhaled,

that you live in the parentheses of my distracted thoughts
it’s the pull that keeps me awake, never the subject,
But instead,
I stood at the edge of the sentence
I watched the moment turn dark
Now I am left with metaphors scratching the inside of my chest
a thousand ways to say “you”

you are not a sentence.
You are the margin I write toward.
You are the reason
Blank pages feel like confessions

How do I say

His presence rearranges the furniture, in the quiet rooms of my mind.
Suddenly, space is softer, It’s like you’ve always lived inside.
There is something about the way he listens
As if he’s mapping constellations from the pauses in my speech.
he read silence like a second language.

He makes stillness feel so full,
Like a museum after hours.
Like a church with the lights off.
Reverent. Intimate. Unnamed.

how I replay to his “good morning” texts, like they’re voice notes from the universe.
How he makes ordinary moments feels like Easter eggs in a movie, only we understand.
How his presence calms that anxious part of me, with him it’s never too much.


I gave you only your own reflection.
But I meant:
you are the ink I can’t keep still.
You are the reason blank pages, terrify me.
Not because I have nothing to write
but because I finally do.

By: Zoulaikha

Joy was a word known to man
Until darkness covered their whole land.
As I walk past their faces that smile,
I saw lies in tearful eyes.

I was made to love and lead in a path.
I was made to be heartbroken.
I knew the reason but found I’d been sent to treason,
So I stopped at last.

Anteros sent me, but Eros sent the arrow.

I was made to love
The kind of love you give but never get.
Anteros called, I never answered.
Now I will wander alone and voice a speech.

Pin on a board love, lesson gained
Snake-bit pain like love under glass, labeled but never touched
Whatever it takes to pass the test and go to another.
Find them as I stare in the shadows.

Poised tears leak on sweeping finger cheeks.
I’m waiting for love letters that never come
But I was wrong…
There it came a smile on my face once again.

“I found the one, you taught me love…”
So it goes.
I was right,
Waiting for letters that may come,
But not for me for the teacher they learned from.

Love at first sight
Never the sight, but the one that watches the scene.
I made my peace
For being your prayer.

To watch over, to block the darkness
Now known to man.
Change in sorrowed eyes to worry-less pleas.
I was made to love.

By: Zoulaikha

I opened my mouth to speak,
but the words came out smoke
a fire I’d fed with dreams too flammable to hold.
They said, write your future,
but handed me a pen that bled doubt.
And here I am,
not out of ink,
but drowning in all the things
I was too alive to say
and too tired to dream again.

And thats how your prose poetry bled into my cup of stone
Like fine wine aged but made you grow blue

You speak like a forest
that remembers the flame.
The kind of silence you carry
is not quiet
it’s the hush before a storm
that forgot how to rain.

They fed you dreams like sugar,
wrapped in sunlight and soft songs.
Told you the sky was yours
if only you’d grow wings.
But no one said
how heavy it is to fly
with roots still buried in cracked earth.

Now, the soil aches.
The trees hum of ghosts.
You walk through orchards
where no fruit hangs
only scorched branches
and the echo of “almost.”

But listen.

Even ash is a kind of promise.
Even the blackened bark
knows how to bloom again.

You are not lost
you are fermenting,
deep in the unseen.
A season of decay
before the spring.

Let the crows circle.
Let the stars go dim.
Even moons must rest
before they rise full again.

You are not done.
You are gathering.
What feels like an end
is only the soil
learning your name.

**
Name you free, teach you in glassed cage
Still Ashes Rise Again

By: Zoulaikha

Grief is poetic
when silence becomes the ink,
when you’re lost for words
and find them buried in your chest.

Sadness, clear as crystal,
mirrored in my eyes,
but you wore blindfolds of comfort.
You turned your gaze to lighter skies.

I’m an afterthought
when loneliness creeps in
a name you whisper
only when silence is too loud.

But I
I search for you in every face,
feel your shadow
in rooms you’ve never walked into.

You remember me
in quiet hours,
As I carry you into every crowd,
haunted by your absence
Through the noise.

My hands, once steady,
now tremble like candle flames
in the draft of your memory.
They couldn’t speak
in the heat of your imaginary touch.

I wear your absence
like thread through my ribs
delicate,
yet pulling every breath, a little thinner.

You left like morning mist,
vanishing before I could hold it.
I stayed, like a love note never read,
creasing in someone else’s drawer.


This is a poet’s day
dressed in metaphors,
dripping with invisible ink,
smiling like a well-penned lie.

And still a smile lingers,
painted on like a mask.
It’s all they see.
No one reads the footnotes
where I buried everything I meant.

By: Zoulaikha

Attacks.
Tears, pillows only know
My breath is caught
Makes you wonder if its the end.

Unjustified panics
I thought I got better
Flash backs
My tears, are blood flowing

Anxiety crippling
Breathe, Breathe, Breathe
No supply
Trying my best to love me through it

Plans shaking
No words racing
My mind erasing
What can I do?

Can't Call
No words to say
Overwhelmed,
My only escape is to disappear

Please leave me alone
I've been good
I stopped taking what I love
But you're still here

Alone
Pushing all that i love away
A monster in disguise
You're the tattoo I never asked for

I've been good for so long
Didn't think it'll go wrong
My body's uncomfortable with me
It's planning my end

Anxiety
Thought my mind was responsible
Now my heart with the mind of its own decided to join
Why are they so committed?

My body is cold
I'm trembling from the heat
You said you care, but there you are uninvested
Maybe if I get attached to you, you'll also leave

By: Zoulaikha

If strawberries had memories, they’d only dream of cookie crumbs.
If strawberries could tell stories, they’d weep until forever’s undone

What is a poet to do?
When you tell her love poetry out of the blue,
Not a bedtime story, you were a wish come true.
Screaming the Lord’s name echoed on call,
Cheeks flushed, bound to ache
Now, it’s only memory.

Close misty eyes in the middle of the night,
Your lips are locked into mine.
The aftertaste of watermelon lingers just right.
I pull away, smiling, but tears fall downside.
“I miss you more than I can put into words.”
I blink through the blur, but you’re gone.

Your friend’s car, a time capsule of us,
Etching our ghosts into metal and dust.
We stopped on the roadside, your head on my lap,
The night held its breath, so did I.
"What’s it like to hold your hand? To lock our lips one last time?"
Get up. Tell me it’s time.

It killed me endlessly.

August 10th our world in bloom,
Held me tight, told me it’s all right,
Time stood still, you kissed me through the night.
February 13th love’s quiet death, now Heather’s day, his hand in hers instead.
You walked away, stole my breath.
I sit heartbroken, waiting for the year to end
As my tears finally dry, October storm hits.
The 20th it’s our crime, a date I should celebrate
But my heart won’t move, it only rewinds.

She walks my happy ever after,
While I live a once upon a nightmare.

By: Zoulaikha

I fell for him like twilight falls to night
But dawn demanded I let go too soon
He held my soul beneath the softest light
Now silence hums a hollow, distant tune

He left, and still the air feels sharp and thin
Like breathing shards of glass with every sigh
A day has passed, it tears me from within
The kind of ache that doesn’t let you cry

He was the bloom before my brutal frost
A warmth I cupped with hands too full of fear
I broke my heart to prove I’d bear the cost
What’s right still rips, and love won’t disappear

My throat is wrapped in wires, cold and tight
A fence of grief that shocks with every breath
My pillow swells with storms I lose each night
Each sob a small rehearsal for my death

I knew he’d be the wound I’d never close
The ghost I’d chase in every midnight prayer
He was the poem my silence only knows
The empty in the room when no one’s there

He said “It’s over”, and the stars turned pale
The sky collapsed in bruises none could feel
Purple kissed blue, and sorrow spilled to teal
A palette mixed in love we couldn’t scale

I bowed to grief, a creature made of glass
Who shattered in the light he left behind
I hid the truth, we’d never truly last
But begged the clock to keep us more entwined

I’ll search for you in others, soft and slow
In crooked smiles and eyes I wish were yours
But every face becomes a deeper blow
Another door that leads to empty floors

If one more hour meant breaking all again
I’d bleed through time to taste him in the pain
To burn in him, to drown in what has been
I’d choose the fall and never curse the rain

I would whisper it once more

And I would whisper it all once more
You were the one who slipped away
I’m losing sleep, forgetting how to eat
Like I don’t know how to move my feet

The songs I used to play to feel okay
Now echo with the shadow of your name
You turned my favorite melodies to gray
And healing hurts when music feels like blame

You are the best thing that happened to me
But love, it seems, was never meant to be
So I broke my heart because you were kind
I broke my heart because it’s what’s right

Now it will take me years to find your face
In fleeting glances, strangers passing by
I’ll search for you in every time and place
And ache when all I see is not your eyes

Yet even so, I’d do it all again
For one more moment through all the pain
If time with you meant heartbreak anew
I’d choose every scar
Just to stay with you

The kind of ache that crying seems like fun
The kind of ache that cry’s had tears of its own
A mental breakdown for every 10min that move along  
But we’ll bleed in silence into the night for the words that said:

“The kind of ache that doesn’t let you cry”
Cause purple blue skies are only found in your eyes
A purple blue sky is teal in our eyes

By: Zoulaikha

2am beneath the sky where stars are shy,
A golden hue begins to die.
A love that once felt bright, now dim,
Caught between the sun and its whim.

I reach for you through shadow’s veil,
Uncertain, yet I cannot fail.
For in the dark, a light I see,
But do you fear the same as me

Your touch, a warmth I hold too tight,
Afraid that longing raise this coming night,
It’ll slip through hands like drifting sand,
And all I’ll grasp is empty land.

Each whispered word, each tender glance,
A fleeting, soft, forgotten dance.
The eclipse of love, the pain of time
I fear you’ll leave before you’re mine.

Yet in this light, our hearts entwine,
A love that’s lost, yet still divine.
In every shadow, I still find you,
As golden as the sun we knew.

But in my chest, a secret too
I hate you too, I hate you too.
For love is both the light and shade,
A golden eclipse, where hearts are made.

I crave the warmth of your embrace,
But dread the silence when you leave my space.
The eclipse lingers, never gone,
A dance of light where shadows dawn.

We kiss beneath the fading sun,
Yet in the dark, the war’s not won.
For love is both the flame and freeze,
The golden light, the midnight breeze.

In every shadow, I find my grief,
And in your arms, I find our relief.

By: Zoulaikha

Just hold me tight, through this night
Unjust it ended without you and me
Never thought you'll be with another, as I stand alone in this weather.
Eager eyes met one another, but now you're with your heather.

Benevolence hands soft on the touch
Erupted hearts as velvet checks blush.

June 25th became my once upon a nightmare.
My heart filled with sorrow in the cool night air.
We were getting closer, as we are getting older
The days passed, my name became what you hate

In love, why cant I finish?
It hurts me to say I still do.
You're my forever, I just have no clue.
Us, our love, is for always unfinished.

By:Zoulaikha