And suddenly,
I couldn’t move.

All I knew
Was that I needed you.

But whatever I’m drowning in
Is heavier than my sins

They won’t hear a sound
As I sink down

I can only pray to hit the bottom
A quiet, private asylum

I have a rubber band ball snapping apart in the inside of my heart
And in my mouth, hitting clinched teeth
Being full of screams

Their vibrations tumble down
And I can feel each and every sound

They pull on my veins
And play them like guitar strings

They tingle the scars
Each one lighting up like stars

They ring like church bells
The sound unavoidable

They sing a lullaby

‘Scream and cry, scream and cry
Don’t you want to die
It’s not easy to say goodbye
Isn’t that why you lie?

Break the ties
Muffle your cries
Turn all of your screams to sighs

The anxiety will be over
It’s just a lullaby'

I hear voices down the hall

I called, and I called,

But they let me fall.
They said they didn't know me at all

I hear the voices now from far away
Are they in my head or here to stay?

If I am quiet
They won't hear my body sway

Away, away.

Never had I understood
How powerful words were

Until they came from you

Sticks and stones may shatter the bones
But your words filled their very marrow

They made me whole

I am calcified, unable to move,
Despite of the actions I know that are done by you

But my bones,
They cannot move.

I use to dream about jumping on trains and riding away
But now I know how slow they go
I would run for miles so fast
So I could let my thoughts slow

I’ve always looked for something quick to take me or save me
Maybe that’s why I gave so many people my heart
And walked away
So pieces of my soul are moving everywhere
Even though my body has to stay.

But now I’m leaving the city
In only a few days
To a small, quiet place
Where the heart doesn’t fit
A loving coup de grace
I could stand on a grassy hill
And scream for my home
But the air here stands still
Here, I am alone.
A city doesn’t hear such pleas
When sound only projects out
So city, please.
Remember me.

Spring comes with screams of anguish
Because it is much easier to die
Than to come alive again

Between me and you
This situation is dire,
This letter a cry for ceasefire
You wrapped my heart in wire, tripwire
I tried to walk away but it snapped, it set me on fire
What I would have given to have never tasted desire
Of a falsifier like The Killer’s messiah

My daddy doesn’t love me anymore
Because religion and I had a war
And I left out his front door

But you, I idealized you up on a pedestal
No wonder your love was inaccessible
And I was expendable
You seem to think I can handle silence
My mind is sounding sirens, sounding sirens
Do you read this and think compliance?

But I see you in corners of mirrors
In the faces of the drinkers
And in the reflection of liquors
Your name on the tail of their whispers
God  I swear everything here is a trigger
And you’re the killer

I’m not better than her
Or any of the others
What do you smoke more of?
Cigarettes or your lovers?