to hold the light
lets you know where to go
to find happiness
makes light burn brighter
to lose light makes it hard to see
makes sadness appear
while your lost with despair

When I fell in the hole it was there
it picked me up and shaped me
but now I tried to run but it always there
nothing I can see as it guides me through the darkest times
I tried to get away
It keeps guiding me through the darkest times
now I wonder if I should run

One more time
I would like a kiss
One more time
I would do anything to see you again
Just one more time
I like to see you face
Only if I did not miss that chance

to fight what is ours
but no gain what we want
if we fight again we might gain
to listen to other might be right
but to not listen and assume
but shall judge upon the cover of a book
is something you always be wrong

a burning light makes a pretty sight
but it's not right as it's burning too much
maybe it's alright that i'll be fine
maybe i'll stop squeezing my eyes tightly
from the pain and get used to it quietly
as others around my seem to be finely

a world of being with loved ones for entire life
but you still feel empty like your alone
when the light slowly fades and shadows come
a person comes with the brightest light
as they give you some light you start seeing things
nothing is grey or white now filled with the color of freedom
without chains trapping you to the point you can't move
in an empty box that slowly gets smaller while it gets darker

as other see happiness i see something different
like colors you don't know
if your truly seeing the same thing
you might see yellow but i see gray
as some may be a colorful wind
might be a storm brewing inside
as you see a mask im hiding in
i see through that mask of happiness

maybe im smart maybe im pretty
but not enough maybe
im successful and skilled but
not enough, to my eyes
as other judges on how others are best im judging
myself of not enough in my own eyes
a person that seems who has the best life is different in their eyes

running trying to get away
but it is always there with me
I try to hide from it
but it's hiding with me
the darkness everywhere I go
is making it darker making me trapped
in a box that feels tight even though
there is so much space like i'm alone
maybe there is something to a light maybe
but the darkness is hiding it

it's coming
the feeling of it's presence
I don't know when, where, or what it is
but it's coming and I need to go
I try to hide but only for it to come closer
I try to ignore it for the feeling to be stronger
then it found me it's no monster or person
but my own shadow is coming back stronger than I remember

a flame on a fire pit
a pit of hope that carries
a flame of happiness
fire stayed brightly alone
until there was a person came
threw sticks in the pit
which grew brighter as the warm intensity
making everything warm with happiness
as the person kept throwing sticks on at the fire pit
the fire pit of hope grew so did the flame burning with passion
until the person left then the flame seemed shorter colder
seemed like it might go off with a single blow hoping for another person
to put some sticks to make it grow but nobody did so it went out
as the embers burns waiting hoping for something

A huge wall it protects from the outside
maybe sometimes it is there to much
but it protects me from danger
even if sometimes voices try to convince me
to open up so they could help me
but it did not work like last time

In a field of flowers
As the comfort of the grass settles your muscle
The sun warming your bones making you close your eyes
The peacefulness of the cool breeze of the air
A place, to breath, to think, to like, to not be judged
Only if it last forever only if I could forget the stress, the pain
Why not right now forget about the house and sleep in peace

hearing everyone talk or arguing hard to tell
don't know what to think or if your thinking
wanting to pulled your hair out but it is everywhere
the sounds of yelling you try to escape but you can't
then it goes away not the yelling but the feeling
the thoughts are gone so is the feeling
as you realized no one noticed because they are not paying attention
is this what it feels like to be truly alone?

a place in your mind where
moon shines brightly stars burn bright
when the sun comes out it is the perfect temperature
the grass is perfect the rocks are round
into it happened the earthquake of fear
the tornado of anger tsunami of despair
the rocks crumble the stars went cold and disappeared
the sun dimmed into nothing the grass decayed into dryless landscape
what is known as the darkness that touched your mind of the past memories
now they fade into a desert of nothing but sand of depression

a dark shadow that never leaves
always linger in the brightest moments waiting
for the darkness to fall ready for the pieces to fall in place
that causes every step to sink further in the shadows
until you see nothing as the shadows cover your light
that light that finds the way out the darkness you cover up
so others wont be lost in the same thing

once the tree forms then you must be free
find the three keys of your inner soul
the inner peace of calmness
the inner chaos of primalness
the inner spirit of wholeness
after you find the three keys you may be free
from the good and evil that binds you

watching others fall into darkness with me
but they don't see me on who i am
see the light that i don't have
i try to give them light
that i don't have maybe it will work
maybe i don't have to be alone
that if i speak to the ones falling

there once was a kid who thought that out of every badness comes a great goodness onetime he met creepy guy who told warned him not to trust everyone as you don't trust a wild snake the kid said out of every good deed there was a bad one the guy had nothing else to say then one day there was a group of kids and they went to him about a week later he was arrested and hanged because he believed that they had good in them but they blamed them for there mistakes he died as the old man attended his funeral he said trust many but not all

plain like a white board in class
a quiet class while everybody is taking a test
fidgeting with you're pencil
as you wait for everybody to get done
why is this taking so long

you want to know about cold
i guess you have not been told
you might freeze beer
i guess you don't have a tear
try to show some mercy
i guess you don't know how
you try to look down
but im up in the stars
not looking down at you
i don't have time to frown
at you trying to get me down
but i will keep going up
climbing that ladder
not looking at you
because your to below
for me to see you
try to fight me but you can't
reach me because you are on the cliff
about to fall from my drift

in a party warmness washes over me
as other greet me of my day of birth
looking at the family the warmth feeling
wishing the day would repeat again
as im on a bed of my last breath
i am greeted with a farewell
as i went to a peaceful sleep
as the darkness shrouds me

being left alone with the darkness you left me
I am still waiting for your forgiveness
sorry a thousand times filled with pain
but you left me in the darkness
if I could make it better would you forgive me
would you forgive the pain or leave me in the dark
with the darkness that consumes me
sorry for filling your eyes with unspoken tears
just for not saying sorry and not being there

as the car leaves
i wonder how far
before they come back
still waiting for only
for jack to come back
to reveal my fate
that they left the state

trying to feel better but keeps coming back
the image of a crash everyday
keeps invading my dreams becoming nightmares
everytime I be in that car I relive that day
the pain on my right arm to the my throat getting choked by fear
everytime i be in that car i see the coffee flying from that crash
maybe i will not freak out again if i go in that car

the moon whispering in the calmest night
as it shines reflecting off your skin
as you look at the whispering moon
you forget the troubles and pain
other has caused and now peace
has filled you bones and heart

my past actions that causes tears in my eyes
seeing the others in pain.                          
my loved one causing more pain because I caused theirs
before i did not know now it haunts me forever
now i'm wandering if I deserve what I have
because I never saw them again

everyone is gone left me to be
the light faded as others took over
the blanket that covered me is now taken
not i am alone trying to be strong
but it never works but i get in trouble
and now i am were i was last time

the darkness you shrowded me with
leaving me with my thoughts
you left with the light that you took
and now you leave me
what me wandering what I should do
but it's okay i'm used to it
the darkness you left me in
is better than I was with you

in a  dark place  but  
ones light that I can not reach
no matter how hard I try
so  I went and sat  down
thinking for what I have done wrong
but what I did not do right

the happiest person cries the darkest tear
the strongest break the easiest
the saddest have the happiest moment
the weakest have have the longest way
to be the strongest and the fearless

get what you want but why
why not get what you deserve
if you deserve an ice cream then get it
but every action has consequences
because that is what you deserve

hide the energy of sadness
with more energy
shut the emotions of fear and pain
only to be replaced by sadness
try to feel other happiness to hide the
sadness and pain so no one will
know how I feel today or tomorrow.

you down you get back up
Use wisdom instead of strength
You Are silent as the night goes on
Wisdom carries like your immortal
But sometimes someone sees you as evil
Like the venom that killed many
But you still are who you are

still standing from very little
surviving with almost nothing
still stand in the place i away did
endured the pain and suffering
still survived but did I on the inside
is like glass right now
people are walking one it
seeing if it would break

Light is fading, struggling to see why
I can’t see where i'm going
The colors are turning gray
Not seeing light anymore
Its gone with no light none at all
Then a faint one appeared far away
Is it real is some false hope
Ran to it finding out it was a light
Help me by Gave me some light to see
Now I won’t fall in the holes forming
Because of the light the grew
Until I left, I said my goodbyes
But it was not enough
It was happening again
The light was fading
Felt darker than before
The holes where everywhere around me
I had to move forward
Because i didn't see a reason why
But I gave up and sat there
Alone with no one but
The darkness itself

after death after everybody is there
the memories are thought of
of the good times like
the mirage and kids
the grand kids you spoiled
your loved ones move on
when they die the same
will happen to them that's
just life and death

A shadow that is just there
No one knows why
Just there
Watching
And listening
Taking in the light left by others
Wondering how to create a warm light
To fill its hole
that has been there
since the light that came

disgusting sweaty socks why not clean them
putting your feat in me sometimes with no socks
then you throw me out without a care in a world
putting me mud jumping on puddles
even though I don't like getting wet
your gonna use me to the end then
what will you do to me then
please don't

like a wind a gentle breeze
like a river a clear one
like a steady flow of colors
then someone ruins it
the wind turns to storm
river turns to rapid currents
colors turn one color
and i lose something in me
and my reflexes kick in
then everything slower
then before it was normal

cries with no help
silent with every movement
just there with a mask
keeping problems to myself
but what problems I got none
i'm fine for a millionth time

born with light but-
sometimes we need it to be bright
with the good memories
if we let the light die
so will the happiness
sometimes a wind blows
maybe someone dims it
when it goes out
its hard to be bright again

word have no meaning until you put meaning in them
OR put words on bricks then throw them at someone
then the meaning is to hurt someone

sometimes being open is good
but there no being closed again

what place am I
am I a pawn
just a sacrifice for someone
or a replacement
A king
someones most important person
a queen to protect my loved one
or am I the knight
to protect my loved ones and  
harm any opposing my loved one
maybe i'm the player making the moves

it can take 5 days to make something
5 weeks to get a best friend
to cry on their shoulders
5 months to love someone
to be your light
5 years to marry someone
with a full heart
but it can take 5 minutes
to a broken heart

A good day
well everyday a good day
what could go wrong
people think i'm a sunshine
maybe I am
doesn't mater
because i'm wearing a mask
but you don't know

A blanket I like
It covered  me when i'm stressed
It helped me when i'm sad
It there when there when  i had been a lost
But now i lost it
It gave me light as it took darkness
But now there is darkness with no light.