i recall that you once said
love is a feeling you just know
but you dont seem to believe
that i am capable of telling
the difference between the pain
of ephemeral crushes
and the real heart breaking
earth shattering
pain of love

heart pangs
head aches
my eyes - dart away

hurts to look
at your calm face
the guilt - it dominates

bile burns
stomach turns
i finally run away

skin crawling
heart beating
sweat pooling
mouth salivating
eyes darting
stomach turning
knees weakening

cant meet his gaze
his terrifyingly unmoving gaze
heart pangs
mind replays
guilt weighs heavy on my shoulders

dont know if an apology will work
no matter how honest my words are
- to me, anyways -
dont know if this will blow over
as if it never existed

cant pretend, cant forget
the earth continues to rotate slowly
too slowly

your days are filled with nothing but Pain
and you're dead inside - so numb - no hope of being kissed awake
from this Land of Emptiness,  dark and dreary
where the air is so cold and chills your bones
and it's all just an absolute Nightmare

except there are no Scary Monsters;
just the foreboding voice of The End -
its silence screams your Name
and haunts you as you trudge
along the Frozen Shores of your Heart

there is no Oxygen here - no way for you to breathe
you're perpetually choking and you can't start a Fire -
can't warm your numbed hands - and there is Nobody
out There to ease the aches that this Solitude brings -
It sweeps over the Tundras you've come to call "Home"