I can't be who I am.
Feeling trapped in my skin.
Something has to change.
So depressed.
These culmination of things.
I can't take them anymore.
Being trapped's the worst.
I need to be free in thought and action.
I need to be me but I'm trapped behind a representation.
I need to be me but I don't think people see me.
Please let me be me. I need to be me.

Feeling aimless. Feeling alone.
Staring blankly at the unknown
This isn't depression. This isn't despair.
Maybe it's apathy. But I don't care.
Into the abyss. Feeling remiss in all of this.
The sun is coming up. The day feels still.
Is my mind at peace or am I mentally ill.
Numb but I don't care. Peace is in the air.
The birds are chirping. The day has dawned.

Alone and isolated by the way I am.
I try to talk to others but it always goes bad.
People lose interest and I can't connect.
Afraid to be with people. I am wrecked.
I try to be myself but that doesn't work either.
Maybe it would be better if I was alone forever.

Afraid of emotion.
Afraid of what it might do.
Do I see reality with it?
Or does it reality askew.
Am I seeing the truth?
Maybe but I don't know.
People need understanding.
Is that something emotions can show?
Maybe it's the judgments we sow.
Not the emotions I thought were so low.
The two come together so often it's hard to know.
Emotions show understanding but judgments don't.
So show emotions I will but judgments I won't.

Hiding from the past.
Forgotten it at last.
Moments fade fast.
Fast away from me.
Emotionally numb.
Time passes fast to and from.
I exist but do not live.
This curse and gift.
Someday I hope my spirits lift.

Feeling frustration today.
A buildup of a sort.
Life seems to have fallen short.
So tired of the fight.
I don't know if things will be alright.
Push down the pain thinking it will go away.
But it surfaces and stays.
Fear of losing control and letting others in.
Loneliness within.
Frustration on what to do.
Frustration on where to go.
Frustration with the absurdity of life I know.