Father said he'd come back.
156 [months] have passed
and I'm waiting with my hope
intact.

Father said he'd come back.
He's 4748 [days] late
and I start to harbor hate
in my chest as I try to lay
his memory to rest.

Father said he'd come back.
Its been a little over 113956 [hours]
and my heart has grown a little sour.
I can't forget him he's a coward.
A ****** who was only brave enough to plant a
seed in my mother and her love managed to bloom a flower.

Mother gave birth
to a kid that's now a brother
different from all the others
a stupid teenage *******
who everyone wanted to smother.

Now to make it harder
He says he misses his father
and he says he's all emotional.
His eyes start to water.

Hope is dead.
He no longer wants to meet him.
All the time that's passed has
worn his patience thin.

Father said he'd come back.
He's tired and the idea of a
father is something he's never seen.
It's gets kind of ridiculous
when the [years] I've waited for
him adds up to thirteen.

[voicemail]

hello, father
It's your daughter.

This is the last voicemail
I've decided to ever leave.
I'm been having some difficulty
in thinking that I'll succeed.

It's been a while but I'm not
here to catch up and reminisce.
I simply have a story to tell and basically it's this.

I started when I was fifteen.
Single edge blades for shaving.
I had found its other use
and the feeling was amazing.

Father where've you been?
The answer doesn't matter to me.
I've grown up and all the cuts have
lead me to bleed out my empathy
and letting scars heal with a special
layer of apathy.

You want to know what it feels like?
I stay up way past my bed time.
One mark before I start the climb.
Dark thick liquid that feels like slime.
Slow. Steady. Make the
motion last a lifetime.

I wonder what life
would be like without me
and honestly my disappearance
is what really makes me happy.

I've always really want to tell you
that even though you haven't been
here I think it's still okay to say
I love-

[beep]

Redundant feeling
settles in my stomach.
Caterpillars crawl within.

All the holes have left me
empty and I've let them get into
my skin.

Crawl. Slither. Walk.
Make your way towards my heart
and while you all feed off of it
make your way towards my stomach
to begin your metamorphosis.

Eyesight hears her beauty
as love falls gently on my tongue
and begins to arouse my taste buds.

Several senses out of order.
Vomiting emotions are
just a part of my disorder
in falling in love too quickly
and concluding that I adore her.

Left handed hour hand spins around
a circle while nature tries to progress.

Feelings start to settle.
Emotions start to bloom
and my stomach begins to feel upset.
I'm in love again correct?

They break out of their chrysalis.
I forgot about the time
that slowly flew by
and how because of her
now in my stomach
dwell the most beautiful
butterflies.

Beauty so awkward.
Your flaws tell you you aren't thin.
Wish to change who you are cause of the discomfort
in your own skin.

Shed it like a snake.
wait for it to dry
and harden as time moves by.

I miss your old skin.
Beautiful with all it's imperfections.
Ignore your inner thoughts.
Slowly learn to resent them.

Writing these lines for you.
Snort them.
Quickly learn to adore them.

See it disappear
as it travels up your nostril.
You realize my words are in your system
and you no longer feel awful.

As you start to relax
you've realized you relapsed.
Words travel quick
and tickle your synapse. Fast forward
watch the timelapse as you reach the peak or should
I say the ******. This drug is so pure,
no errors of syntax.
Not even at your core yet
while I'm aiming at your cortex.

These are my words.
Become addicted to them.
Refer to them when your thoughts come in contact with deception.
Use my words to forcefully change your perception.

No more pain I promise.
Promise these words are honest and
honestly I'll keep convincing you of your
beauty till I'm exhausted.

Self esteem.
Here to lift it.
Even though I drifted and veered
from my intended path,
I'm here to help get rid of something
awful you refer to as your past.

Take my hand.
Extend mine to help you up.
Cause I've been on the ground too
when no one would simply show up.

You've been hurt.
Your wings are broken.
Let me mend them as a token
of appreciation for enlightening
the world with a smile so contagious
that would lead all to believe that
you're perfect.

perfection.
Not what I was searching
but that's what I stumbled upon.

Your scars make you perfect.
They make you human.

You exhale an excess of words
while I inhale. I feel the words
touring to my synapse making
my brain as warm as wool.

I guess even my own words
can make me fall in love with
someone
beautiful.

Every night in my sleep
I play the scene
I've never witnessed.

Sand in your face.
Shells hitting the ground.
Visibility reduced to nothing.

Contemplating memories
as my anger cultures sorrow
and melancholy.

Anger for not being better.
Purposely missing the concert
you've always wanted to attend.
Forgetting that dinner and how
I wish I had that time again.

Forgetful, but you stayed.
Wish you could've stayed.
Memory will fade as I plead for you to
please stay.

In the mail I got a phony plaque
that won't bother to bring you back.
You said not to stay up too late
while waiting for you to come back.
I want you back.
I want you back.
I want my love that was dispatched
to Iraq and never came back.

Perfect way to end a letter.  
Rated x to get her wetter and o
the shape her mouth makes while she
takes [explicit] and slips another pill
that she purposefully drinks at will.

Searching for serotonin
in any kind of person.
Hard for her to see
while she abuses receptors
that release dopamine.

Snow falls from her nose
as the winter wind blows
and to keep up her habit
finds another man to blow.

How far will she go
before they all decide to let her go
and she ends up all alone.

I picked her up and fixed
her wings while she tried to
figure out what to do next.
She says she has no money and
can only repay in ***.

Keep the x and then we'll se[e]  
but first you need some help
before we know what the plan will be.

A fallen angel. I'm glad
you're in my presence.
Please don't yell so loudly
just in case we wake the tenants.

Watch you sleep while
I make breakfast.
I've grown attached to the
angel addicted  to snow
that  has nowhere to go.

Stay with me I tell her.
She's reluctant to look
me in the eyes.
She wonders if I'm kidding
and simply tell lies.

She slowly starts to panic
I claim my love for her's organic
but she doesn't know what to
think as her mind becomes volcanic.

I tell her I'm going to
shower and to
think of my proposal.

I try to be quick as
I'm convinced that after
months I simply can't let her go.
Only to find a long letter
in the kitchen with the signature
[xo].