I connect the dots
like connecting the stars
And I start to realize
We are star-crossed loners

I read deeper into your words
and I realize that your thoughts
aren't as deep as your ego.

You're an avid liar
a self-proclaimed extrovert
"My life isn't that great"
yet you seemed to talk only about yourself.  

It was so obvious,
It's almost hard
to get mad at you about it.
I'm angry at myself
for not connecting the dots sooner.

You weren't inconsistent because you were busy
You were inconsistent because you didn't care
You weren't excited to call me,
You didn't enjoy listening to my voice
You were only excited about hearing your own
desperate to hear my reaction of you.

The perfect face
The perfect liar
The dots connecting everything so perfectly.

How could I make him understand
that I missed him
almost as much as
I'd always loved his shadow

He'd seemed to love my company
as much as I loved his,
but all that was in the past now

Something sets off the day
In a way that makes me stay
in my head
and I think
"I've spoken so much that I forgot to blink"
On those days, I propose something to myself
stay quiet
I'm tired of talking
and getting talked over
of accidentally interrupting
and for those moments
where I don't know what to say

stay quiet
because I feel like being a listener today

it's not that big of a deal that I lost you
you can't lose something that was never yours
to begin with

I can probably find other guys like you
if I really wanted to

I don't want to...
but I could.

It's not that big of a deal that most of what I write
is inspired by my experiences with you
I can write about other things, too
If you really think about it
but I don't want to consider it


It's not that big of a deal that you might find another girl
I've met guys like that before I met you
I wouldn't go back to them
I'd rather find someone new

It's not that big of a deal, the way I dodged a bullet
a tremendous one
a 5'8", blue-eyed, freckled
bullet
With a knack for lying

Will I ever be
The lover that inspires
Your poetry?

Will I ever be
the one
You cherish on paper?

listen
how you listen to romantic oldies
to sweet country

with lyrics so romantic
you'd think it's the wrong playlist

reveal
how you're secretly a romantic

I've actually let you go
If you like someone else
I would never know

I still write poems about you because you're recent
not a scar that's healing
just a scratch you can't see

you've been gone for so long
nothing is rhyming
inspiration is wilting
for a while, I've stopped waiting

I needed to see sand
to ask if I wanted to see snow

I needed to loosen my grasp
on the idea of you
so that I could wrap my head
around the idea of me

Letting go of the rope
I wrapped around your name

unclenching my jaw
from the months
your name has stomped around my tongue