How can someone -
so plain and basic
make me feel like I'm not enough?

Open your mouth
I'm overwhelmed
I swear its not a competition
then why do I care?

I have art
I have craft
I have laughter
I have silence
I have peace.

then why do I feel like I'm not enough
when I listen to you speak
about how great you say you are?

I have the idea that if I write about you
like I have nothing else to write about,

the universe will bring us one step closer

Crazy to think that one minute
you're just her brother
the one you sometimes see around
don't know your name
never spoken a word
and in the next
you're someone I imagine myself with

I remember
talking about you late at night
talking about how I felt you were different
how good looking you are
the way I would love to have you
and for you to have me

I remember saying,
"Who knows, my true love might arrive in a year"
      "No! In a month"
            "In a week"
"in a minute."

and a minute later, your name flashed upon my screen

goodness
for a split second
it felt so genuine
a fraction of it so sincere  

You can't say you got to know me
I can't say I got to know you

this is my attempt to let go
of something that feels incomplete
because wanted boys don't want you
or is that only what I think?

repetitive
repetitive
repetitive
repetitive
repetitive repetition is what I've felt for a year
you never changed even after 365 days
always the same situations
always the same pattern
always the same problems
always
the
same
words

maybe I'm repetitive too
I give you more chances than I should
and I know you won't use them as you say you will
always my same mistake

Actions speak louder than words
Actions speak louder than apologies

Staying silent is an action
and it speaks louder than your words ever will

Leaving is an action
and is more sincere than your apologies ever will be

Just because he's good-looking
doesn't mean he belongs in your life

Just because he's handsome
doesn't mean he's yours

Just because his looks blow you away
doesn't mean that he wants you too

Just because he says nice things
doesn't mean he means them

I think about that a lot
just because I hope it's not true

I'm tired of writing letters
I'll never send
expecting they'll give me clarity
but leading me to a dead-end

J'ai fatigue de lui
is how you say it in French
it's not a language you understand
so I'll say this instead:
Estoy cansada de ti
I'm tired of you
and of the energy you bring

I'll write my poems about you
in old notebooks
I'll use the pages to write letters
I'll burn
but you'll never get