So American
White picket fence
Blue eyes

The lifestyle I’ve been searching for
And the one you bring
Playing catch with the kids
Barbecue Sundays after church
Country music on long drives

Strength in your decision
Feet grounded
Direction chosen
Supportive and gentle
Cheerful and social

I see your small fears
I know you’re looking for someone simple
Someone who will understand
You more than at surface level
You want to feel strong
Brave, protector
Independent

I wish I you could’ve given me a minute
To show you who I am
And show me who you are

I just wanted someone like you
To like me too.

I walk in the cold
and watch the snow fall

Snowflakes burning my lips,
kissing my skin
landing in my hair
stick to my lashes

I wish I could admire every single one
take the time to see their shape
know them deeply
love them generously
as I want done to me

you're scared of being embarrassed
I'm afraid of not sticking up for myself

you're scared of the dark
I'm afraid you've left me in it

You're scared you'll make me uncomfortable
I'm afraid you've left me confused

Don't move.
You have something on your face

It's the look of tenderness
of innocence
being guided by your youth

Conversations about me
Circle around the table
Along with the salt
Along with the criticisms
And green beans

Talks about the girl you didn’t like
You’re not indifferent to,
She just wasn’t enough to keep you hooked
Too immature
Too Mature
Too Quiet
Too homely
Too private

Dinner table privacy
Like the privacy I chose
The privacy you claim
intervenes with your life
Excuses for you to let me go

Conversations go around the dinner table
Pecking at their meal
Peering into who I am