My back is straight
shoulders back
chin up
but my gaze looks down
I don't owe anyone
but to myself

When I hear a song
That reminds me of you,
It becomes my favorite

now months later,
I return
to the song that reminded me of you
and how I wish
I could hear it
as if it were new

Truth is
I still do
I still think about you
Like an itch I can’t reach
But there’s nothing there
I don’t know why
I think about you
I’ve accepted
No loss
No win
I’ll tell myself to stop
You’ll never know
Because the one you think about
Isn’t me

I have the idea that if I write about you
like I have nothing else to write about,

the universe will bring us one step closer

repetitive
repetitive
repetitive
repetitive
repetitive repetition is what I've felt for a year
you never changed even after 365 days
always the same situations
always the same pattern
always the same problems
always
the
same
words

maybe I'm repetitive too
I give you more chances than I should
and I know you won't use them as you say you will
always my same mistake

Actions speak louder than words
Actions speak louder than apologies

Staying silent is an action
and it speaks louder than your words ever will

Leaving is an action
and is more sincere than your apologies ever will be

I'm tired of writing letters
I'll never send
expecting they'll give me clarity
but leading me to a dead-end

J'ai fatigue de lui
is how you say it in French
it's not a language you understand
so I'll say this instead:
Estoy cansada de ti
I'm tired of you
and of the energy you bring

I'll write my poems about you
in old notebooks
I'll use the pages to write letters
I'll burn
but you'll never get