Truth is
I still do
I still think about you
Like an itch I can’t reach
But there’s nothing there
I don’t know why
I think about you
I’ve accepted
No loss
No win
I’ll tell myself to stop
You’ll never know
Because the one you think about
Isn’t me

I have the idea that if I write about you
like I have nothing else to write about,

the universe will bring us one step closer

Crazy to think that one minute
you're just her brother
the one you sometimes see around
don't know your name
never spoken a word
and in the next
you're someone I imagine myself with

I remember
talking about you late at night
talking about how I felt you were different
how good looking you are
the way I would love to have you
and for you to have me

I remember saying,
"Who knows, my true love might arrive in a year"
      "No! In a month"
            "In a week"
"in a minute."

and a minute later, your name flashed upon my screen

goodness
for a split second
it felt so genuine
a fraction of it so sincere  

You can't say you got to know me
I can't say I got to know you

this is my attempt to let go
of something that feels incomplete
because wanted boys don't want you
or is that only what I think?

repetitive
repetitive
repetitive
repetitive
repetitive repetition is what I've felt for a year
you never changed even after 365 days
always the same situations
always the same pattern
always the same problems
always
the
same
words

maybe I'm repetitive too
I give you more chances than I should
and I know you won't use them as you say you will
always my same mistake