I wonder
What will cross your mind
When you see me
In person

I’ve been a presence behind a screen for so long

So American
White picket fence
Blue eyes

The lifestyle I’ve been searching for
And the one you bring
Playing catch with the kids
Barbecue Sundays after church
Country music on long drives

Strength in your decision
Feet grounded
Direction chosen
Supportive and gentle
Cheerful and social

I see your small fears
I know you’re looking for someone simple
Someone who will understand
You more than at surface level
You want to feel strong
Brave, protector
Independent

I wish I you could’ve given me a minute
To show you who I am
And show me who you are
But our backs is the only thing we watched

I just wanted someone like you
To like me too.

I walk in the cold
and watch the snow fall

Snowflakes burning my lips,
kissing my skin
landing in my hair
stick to my lashes

I wish I could admire every single one
take the time to see their shape
know them deeply
love them generously
as I want done to me

you're scared of being embarrassed
I'm afraid of not sticking up for myself

you're scared of the dark
I'm afraid you've left me in it

You're scared you'll make me uncomfortable
I'm afraid you've left me confused

The evidence presented to you
against this young convict
is as follows

a playlist mainly featuring:
11th Hour - Haily Knox
Reflections - The Neighborhood
Different this time - Cornelia Murr

Countless of poems
shamelessly written for him

ashes of the letters
she's burnt
the recipient is unclear
but it is suspected that at least one
was for him

Text receipts
of her asking all the questions about him
while he makes none about her

as you can see,
she had a good reason to fall for this man
she was fueled by delusions

Your honor,
and the jury upon us
this girl is guilty
for falling for a man
who wasn't as committed
as she was when she committed the crime

yes,
you heard me well
love is a crime
like knowingly drawing yourself
like a moth to a flame
she knew it would lead to nowhere
and yet, she proceeded
proceeded to make a playlist for her victim
to try to forget him only to return,
to the memory of him
to knowingly commit
not only the crime of driving him away
but also the crime of wanting him to stay