You exist for
your freedom.
You don't want
to belong to me.
I can't compete
with such easy
liberality.....
With such
an opponent,
I would eventually,
unintentionally
let you down.....

what started out as
innocent, fun and delight,
as natural as breathing;
quickly turned to serious,
complicated and exquisite,
a mutual need being met;
leaving one wondering
if it was ever just
innocuous pleasure?

As she closes the door
she leaves behind a lover.
She moves through her day
as regularly as possible.
Can people see a difference,
she is forever changed.
Unfaithful..Adulterer..
She wears a black mark.

How can it be right.
How can it be so good.
How can she continue.
And how can she not.
She knows the longer
she sees him the harder
it will be to end it.
But it will end.
There is no future there.
Just a connection
which is indescribable!!

a dark night
that turned into
three days

at first the
sorrowful mind
its roaming maze

then came
the sad pitiful
crying phase

turning into
the grieving
silent grays

ending with a
succumbing sigh
into a dismal haze

Rain just makes me smile
makes me stop and think awhile

When a fine mist hits my face
like a delicate sheet of lace

Each raindrop downward sent
each raindrop finds its target meant

I see lightening in the distance
another sign of your holy presence

Hot shivers run to my spine
waking my blood which is thine

Pouring from the sky, cool and wet
giving me solace, alas, so I can forget

How do you
choose
either one or
the other;
when neither
can save you,
why should
you bother.
Whether you
can wait
for another
that may be
in the future
farther,
would that
even matter?
Perhaps you
would rather
wither than
smother!!

I wait to hear his voice
it carries a special lilt
how could I ever have heard guilt

I wait to see his smile
how can I live without that
Oh, my days will be so flat

I wait to touch his hand
the very thing to bring me peace
how can I survive if that were to cease

I wait to smell his scent
like a mellow brew of green tea
with a breeze wafting off the sea

Now I will have to wait forever
since I pushed him so far away
with my doubt and insecurity

Why did I say that to him
why was I so sure he did wrong
why couldn't I believe our love was strong

He will never again believe
that I trust his faith in us
I've lost my life's sweetness

You think you want to see
the who I am behind my veil
that truth is a long held tale
My reasons to cover and conceal
come from years of lonely pain
an ever present hidden strain
You think I should remove
my mask and reveal myself to you
as if it would be so easy to do
I step into my disguise
it's my choice and I choose to hide
should I be concerned with your pride
You think I need to trust you more
once before I let myself be free
and was exposed to doom and misery
If I mean anything to you
accept that I am the cloak in the crowd
allow me the security of my plain shroud

Soak in the scene
go on, bathe in the green

Introduce yourself to something neat
natural essences pure and sweet

Stand still and steep in the calm
feel loves imparting balm

Let nature permeate your soul
come on, give it a roll

Surrender all your defenses
plunge in, relieve your senses

Submerge your heart with feelings
sink in, experience the healings

Immersion is lifes' remedy
so revel in the Earth's beauty

We can fool ourselves
into believing anything:
Just keep telling yourself,
"It is possible,
It does happen."

Til one day reality hits you,
when you see things
from another's perspective

Then all of a sudden
your conception of
the folly has gone askew

A fools wish
swiftly vanishes,
like a shadow
in the darkness

He smiles like the sunrise
quick and flawless;
his face brings me delight
his eyes smoky enchantment

His words are delicious pleasure
as he speaks of wishes, of hopes
of our being together,
we purr with joyfilled chatter

His hands insight me,
his arms can calm me,
his heart has entrapped me
giving me a complete haven

As I got deeper
and darker
into the game,
I found that
playing became
my one aim.

I love carrying
a destructive secret
around with me,
until I realized
I wasn't playing alone.
It can be deadly
to share such secrets.
That's a level
of trust that's
risky to give another!

BUT games
are meant to
have players!
So I hold my
skepticism at bay,
I will rely on
the other players
discretion, as I
know they are
depending on mine...

So I dive deeper,
I'll let it burn
darker.....
I'll let the secrets
edge their way
to the surface,
then bury them
again..... in
deception...

I will carry on
in the game
until I can't;
until the danger
is immediate and
I can find no way
of escaping....
BUT I shall
never resign.
I've sacrificed
so much,
there is too much
at stake to lose!

From the first moments
it was word for word
between us,
a parley of ideas
that just flowed free

From the first sentence,
thought for thought
we answered each other;
as if inside of some
ideal, fantastical dream

As we walked,
as we talked,
taking pause to
consume what was
taking place here

We said goodbye
thoroughly satisfied,
pleased with the play by play;
promising to repeat this
pleasure as soon as possible

It seems I am condemned
to a doom of my own making
I should have stopped myself from falling

I'm guilty by default;
censured by society
criticized for said impropriety

I carry no defense for
my offense as charged;
so are they really a crime?

My mistake is my trusting
my own self-persuasions;
my personal convictions

My only shame is one
of self- blame for letting
sweetness become a game

Shouldn't my deceit
be judged by God alone;
only he decides whom to condone!

He said, "How much do you love me?"
She said, "If you don't know then I pity you!"
He said, "So you would never leave me,
                 no matter what?"
She said, "No never!"
He said, "I lied to you."
She said, " About what?"
He said, "Everything."
She said, "Oh, Why?"
He said, "I thought you would never stay
                 if you knew the truth."
She said, "So you don't trust me?"
He said, "Yeah, I do now. Do you trust me?"
She said, "Yes, Always!"
He said, "Thank You."
She said, " You're welcome."
He said, "Ask me anything and I will
                 answer you honestly."
She said, "How much do you love me?"
He said, "More than any words can convey."
She said, "Thank You."
He said, "You're Welcome."

Her shoulders are broad
Her feet are wide
Her heart is where
I wish to reside

Her back is strong
Her hips are roomy
She's where I run to
When feeling gloomy

Her hair is coarse steel
Her hands large and rough
Her smile my beacon
Her laugh bold and gruff

Her height astounds me
Her love surrounds me
She's my one treasure
She'll be mine forever

Love can find you in such mysterious ways
in the beauty of a sunny day
if you just let the morning come to stay

Love will overtake you in the dark of the night
why try to fight it, tis your right
a word, a touch, there's no need for sight

Love is a promise made
to cherish the bond and not be afraid
so consider your words before they're laid

The possibilities have no end
like the smile of a devoted friend
open up, realize LOVE is a Godsend

Then is just becomes apparent
that love is something so brilliant
maybe it's Earth's most precious element

I know this is wrong
but so very right;
this makes no sense
still so perfect.
This connection.
This comfort.
This breath.
This pain.
There's no fear.
There's no doubt.
There's only this.
Where you start,
where I end
is unknown.
It's there
where we
should be.
Where we are.
This will never end.
This is simply us.
Only us!
So very right!

Sometimes you see a love
that's like poetry in motion,
just the truth of two souls
without any pretensions

Carrying the same rhythm
they meet each other halfway,
finding within a harmony
that will forever make then stay

Sometimes the connection is subtle
so subtle it's painfully obvious
there's joy, there's such comfort
years on they are still impetuous  

Giving all of yourself to another
maybe that is what life should be
a commitment never spoken of
an answer to an unasked plea

Say something to me now
anything is better than this and how

I need the words said
not just assumed instead

Express yourself; it's only me
try to let your thoughts be free

Your being here isn't enough
I've decided to call the bluff

So speak to me from your heart
or I fear we will have to part
Iif you can't meet my needs
admit to it and concede

As the wind surrounds me
I catch a waft of scent
from which direction was it meant

Beryl blue is the sky today
I inhale an essence so pure
from whence it came, is heaven I'm sure

There is an aura of tranquility
I feel a substance in the atmosphere
it pulls me in and holds me near

I close my eyes and take a breath
I wait for that bittersweet balm
it has some power that turns me calm

As happiness envelops me
I appreciate all that I cannot see
and am grateful to just be

Why do you act like that
Why will you not react

Why now, do you turn away
Why, you know I want you to stay

Why can't you look at me
Why is it you loathe what you see

Why have you become so cold
Why believe what you've been told

Why would you ask me to go
Why, what is it I don't know

Why not shout and say it aloud
Why do you have to be so proud

As I stand here
waiting for you
I feel a longing
in my heart

As I stand here
waiting for you
I feel empty
in my soul

As I stand here
waiting for you
my insides are dancing
like a bead of water
on a sizzling skillet

As I stand here
waiting for you
I can't help but
smile to think of
what we possess

If I believe in fate
then how do I explain him

He's here, he's in my head
he's invaded my heart

But does he belong here?

He's my waking thought
my sleeping dreams
my soul's happiness
my body's ecstasy

He's my pasts emptiness and
he's my futures presents

But maybe fate is just a
subconscious wish that
I'm destined to believe

In his eyes I see
love, longing
and fear

In my eyes he sees
happiness, trust
and devotion

In his arms I feel
safe, accepted
and free

In my arms he feels
comfort, approval
and welcomed

In his life
I have found
my sweet spot

In my life
he has found
his last home

After following
his every movement;
his very motion
commanding
me to comply

After fulfilling
every need
and impulse;
happily we lie
in our familiarity

Our skin moist and hot
in each other's sweat,
our breathing calming,
our heartbeats quieting

Our hands never
part from each other,
our words mingle,
our eyes connect

Our comfort in
the knowledge of
one another;
makes us feel
complete and at ease

Give to me your smiles,
your heart, your wiles
That's all I need

Let me hear your laughter
your happily ever after
That's all I want

Tell me all of your fears
I'll kiss away all your tears
that's all I ask

Lend me your time
I'll give to you mine
That's all there is

some days
I feel blue
I can't explain
why that's true

my thoughts
will stick somewhere
in my past
tears will be there

I won't
be able to shake
this funk I feel
as long as  awake

so I'll try
to not weep
long enough
to fall asleep

for sure
tomorrow
will hold
less sorrow

I feel released
no constraints
no permission needed
move as I wish
do as I please
I laugh and sing
Ropes are loosened
that once cut off
my circulation
I now breath
without restriction,
I stretch and grow
I feel free
I feel good
I am delivered
dance through the night
catching dawns skyline
in love and happy

When did it happen
When did I abandon ME!

When did I just surrender
When did I lose my character

My heart breaks from blame
When did my life become a game

My belly aches for change
It thunders and rolls, so strange

My conscience howls
As my soul growls

How do I find ME again
It will be my chance when

I have to find contentment
Even if that means a derailment

a perfect match
we don't need to try
your kisses, oh, my

we are us

an ideal fit
why wonder why
your heart beats, I sigh

us we are

our souls unite
we love as we lie
you echo my cry

I 'n' You

Living with a world of labels::
I choose to break free,
I choose to live with
no assumptions,
to question everything &
accept individual diversity

I let my heart take me
to a place of love & liberty
I let my mind take me
to a place where I feel carefree
with no inhibitions in sight

I believe in intentions,
I believe we should
live undefined;
ruled by happiness.
Accepting differences offered
with joy and an eagerness
to better our world

The man who lived in the
back of my mind,
has now appeared.
He has always lived in
a fleeting fantasy,
caught between ennui
and discontentment.
But now he lives,
he exists.
Perhaps I am just a bit mad,
Perhaps my unhappiness
has brought me to this
state of mania.
My imagination taking over
every thought process
that I possess.

Perhaps he wasn't really
standing right there,
he wasn't actually
talking to me, with a voice
I could swear I knew.
Maybe tomorrow
I will realize that my mind
hasn't been functioning
quite properly.
That my heart has been
so very lonely,
for such a long time;
that I've let caprice
just build and grow
without any thought
to rationality.

But then tomorrow came.
He was there again.
With the same smile,
the same words spoken.
Only now, I can't seem
to remember my past...

his skin like velvet
as my fingers glide over
we are connected
feeling each ridge and hollow
giving sweet heat and joy

woe still lives here
the influence of misery
hangs in the air,
gloom is right there

woe hits me as I awake
another day with agony
sorrow has its sway
alas, It stays

woe I feel bleak and blue
darkness shadows me
with an unseen force
upon my days course

woe I'm followed with doom
my life of angst
has a mighty hold
which leaves me alone and cold

I gave away a part of myself
a part I don't want back
I can't take it back now
it will always belong to him

No worry, I have been fully
compensated tenfold
I won't be forgetting his heart
anytime throughout my life
It used to beat with mine
kept rhythm with time

I can still wake in the night
I can still feel him there
I'm sure he's still here
even though I know I left him
at the cemetery yesterday

somebody else stepped in
when I spread myself too thin
I thought he could wait
as I piled more "to-dos" upon my plate

but he was so right
I couldn't even see the fight
my focus on a future phase
but "we" were lost in the haze

how could I forget the days
all his charm and beautiful ways
when our life was quite perfect
being confident in love led to neglect

praying I can repair the damage
beg forgiveness and try to manage
I'll promise to make "us" a must
please, I have to get back his love and trust

she heard about it
words: nouns used to describe her
is this how she's seen
if only people thought twice
before they spread vile judgements

My body is my house
furnished with secrets most
my bones are its host.
My soul is my home
where I learn to feel, to cope
my spirit the hub of my hope.
My faith is my hearth
center of every stroke and beat
my blood is my hushed heat.
My truth carries honor
at the helm I make a bold start
courage is held in my heart.
I hunger for wisdom
I dream of harmony, of kindness
my haven is pure happiness.
Hallelujah!  ready on my lips
a healing harbor on the make
Salaam!  with every handshake

Love is a mysterious,
undefinable feeling;
an enigma worth unraveling

Love is felt in every country
stated in every language
with a billion ways to manage

Love is present in each friendship
it infiltrates all family structures
able to mend many a fracture

Love can seem to be
incomprehensible; an emotion
with no exact explanation

Love is a thought, a belief
it fills a life with wondrous pleasures
leaving a heart with endless treasures

When love finds its home
then nothing else can matter
life becomes ecstatic familiar chatter

I dream of perfect blue skies
forever before my eyes

If only each day could be
a sweetly played symphony

Evenings would be full of stars
with charming men on string guitars

As women sway and dance about
my soul gives off a joyful shout

Midnight looms and peace is here
the day is about to disappear

Dawn will bring its fresh new day
I shall rise and begin to pray

We are one;
one thought
one view
one future
a combined soul
moving forward
to experience life,
to get everything
we can from each day!
We are one;
our hands touch
our lips meet
our hearts collide
in utter joy & fulfillment!
We are one;
with one idea
with one goal
to live happy & free
to be forever
you and me!

Two by two
it is all around me
The sweet balm
of a loves calm
The walking pace
of lovers' space

Sorted by pairs
trekking about
hand in hand
They seem to just
implicitly understand

The dyadic duo
I met on a plane
captivated my mind
They seemed as if
they were just designed
to live life intertwined

This coupledom domain
is where I desire to reside
Being mated and fated,
forever to be with
my lover glorified

If we could mend a soul
with a quick and easy fix
If we could just jump into
the chaotic spinning mix

Then life wouldn't really be
worth the gold
Which we find buried within
every persons' story told

We must find time to
listen, love and learn
This in and of itself is the
only way to catch your
worldly turn

you tell me what you need to hear;
I'll do the same and we'll make this very clear

you give me what I'm looking for now;
I'll do the best i can to please you and how

we can carry on in this blissful lie;
til guilt turns up with the cast of the die

then you will move on to other tragic,
deserted parts
and I'll trudge  along, to the next
in line of lonely hearts

I couldn't help myself
I had to have him
I needed to see if
what I felt was real,
If I could really feel!

This led to my downfall,
my heart exploded
my mind imploded
my character lost
A massacre of my soul!

My every cell screams for him
I am in utter ruin
I will never regain sanity
that has been eradicated
from my very identity

What I have done
I have ravaged my spirit
I can't ever trust myself
I gave more that I had to him
I walked away empty, alone & crushed!

riding on a carousel
which never stops
leads one to understand
the velocity of tear drops

they must be free to fall
and can never get back up
they can't be rescued
over a steaming tea cup

so let tears flow endlessly
and never state the blame
this world is ferocious
and everyone feels some shame

we don't speak of it
it lies between us like sand
gritty and profuse
any movement shifts the dune
so we remain motionless

Tell me....
does the moon still
make you sway
does the falling rain
still make the day

Tell me....
do you still smile when
you hear the word bunny
do you shut your eyes
when she calls you honey

Tell me....
can you remember
our walks in the wood
can you remember
when "we" were so good

Tell me....
should I give up
and forget about you
or wait for you to finish
what you feel has come due

come near to me
and you will see
I'm just a woman
who chooses to be
humble and patient;
a veiled she.
a woman who
has found her key,
which happens to be
hidden under her beauty,
completely verified
each day on bended knee;
because it is to God
that I owe this fee.
a servant to her
faith; that's me
while still a woman who
loves to be called baby.
so please understand
my inclinations are free
approach me, speak with me
I'm sure you will agree
differences, we have not many
I wish you peace, honey