My being is split

I have a beast and an angel within me
They seem to hit it off
Yet this clash of love and sin
Needs to be freed
Of this master she whispers
Her sharp fangs and feline whiskers
**** my life blood

Understanding to be loving
Leaves you open to be taken
by the winds' consideration
where all of a sudden
One has been lead to water
And made to drink

I feel this sinking feeling
In depths below
much like the letting down
Or a tender blow to the conscience
Where confusion leaves sentience
The feelings of others and not your own

So the draining continues
As I question what is in you
is more important than mine
My own answer is time
For the winged figure beckons me
To the patient life of ceremony
Where hopes for the same returned
Be brought to justice

This mis-defined trust
Crosses the line
Between darkness and divine
Which lands us into suffering
In which we must muster something loving
So that the life we lose coping
Begets more hope

Without resenting
This life relenting
Of joyous memories sacred true
Made up of presence; not of you
But of others
Friends and foes alike
These real emotions will define
The truth
So fear not her tooth
For the universe is ever giving

Singed am I from dealing with Dragons
Though my hands feel their fiery sting no more
Soaring through the twilight of my mind
A sight for sore eyes beheld me

Their lair flows thick with golden sludge
The manifestation of drudgery borne
From a life intent on the taking

Scarred am I from feeding Lions
Yet my limbs grow anew from the power of love
As the dove lays nest upon its head
I spread my wings so boldly

The pack moves with flow designed
To magnify their pride through birthing cub
Through the Lioness they come
But from one seed solely
That is a lonely world

Wise am I from running with Panther
Her feline grace abstains from false action
With a keen eye around on what happens around
She whittles and reads the minds that encounter her

Then lying on the branch with the thickest limb
She will tell you what boundless potential lies therein
By pouncing and slitting those shallow words
To release you from this carnal grasp

Bruised am I by the will of Bull
His blood-shot eyes a curdling pull
To challenge what has turned my family
T’wards that mindless short sight reality

Hidden pen is much smaller than his head
Though the master will deny at all cost
For the fear that the bull would join the executives

Tired am I by Horse’s drive
With its impeccable, ceaseless stride
You have outrun me in spirit
Leave me by the pond awhile
To ponder my demise

Your hooves they clamber in my head
My muscles lock and flesh is red
Though I don’t blame you for your optimism

Wallowing am I iScorpion’s venom
Her futile lunges so careless
Drunk with its own preservation
It spasmed at the sound of my name

Let me stroke it and soothe its poor vessel
With a gloveless hand showing trust
As a homage to the power of love

I am all these things one
They are all inside thee
Am I living through you
Or you living through me?

I do not know where
To put this feeling
Reeling me from heel to toe
The throes of woe
How it cradles the flow
Between madness and serenity

It is she I see
In the momentary flicker
Of the candle in the moonlight
Tightening the noose
On the neck piece
Sunk so deep into my being

With the seeing
That will not relent
It pulls the meaning
Of repentance
From the bottom of my heart
Then turns the start to finish
In the space I do not know

Diminishing my demeanour
To a crumpled state of something
Much akin to peaceful nothing
That keeps the words from gushing
From my finger tips
Tracing lip to hip from memory
In vein to find my way

Back to the feeling
Back to that single day
When the fire burned so hard
It broke that facade of loneliness
Then birthed the bard inside anew
In lieu of that sacred connection

There is no direction
To this sentiment
But the sediments of memory
Have crushed my heart
Have severed me
So I may look apart at mine a while

To tend the sterile yard
In which she has laid the seed
To colour love's intention
Watch the garden grow to breathe
Which branch will she decide to rest on?
Which roots will follow?
Which direction?
They say that patience is a virtue
We will have to wait and see
One day

I see it now
Through the frowns of a clown
With the circus now empty
The bench roaring with play
How the mind’s eye juggle
Of the memory’s stroll
Has kept me in one place

They say laughter roars in halls of shame
The shameless lost along the way
Have everything to ball at
But when they do it is always too late
When they do they will always mistake
The leaps of faiths as shackled tumbles
Freeform fumbles in the dark
For the diamond that will never be found

The nets now cast past
Had me holding fast
To everything that possibly
Contrasts the present beauty of love
As if it were the lifeline
Of the one who’s time has come
To leave the limelight alone
And retreat to humble darkness
Away from the dulcet tones
Which are forever forgiving

I see it now
Down to every nook and cranny
The uncanny similarity
Between burning truth and ****** verity
That was whispered by me to the fire
In the winds that did not happen
When the earth rose to higher purpose
Graceful water found its way
To the fourth corner of serenity
Where all is at its place

Until those forests cease to breathe
Is how I want this peace to beam
As the seeds I found will wake the dead
For a new life born to believe
In magic folds twix physical forms
That grant me my mortality
Yet sew it to the strands of time
To be witnessed for eternity

You’ll see me now
On the furthest seat
Where the jokers fail to see
To quench my thirst for learning curves
So I may learn to not deceive me
Into comfortable ambrosia
But to sprout the shoots of poesia
I will gladly take a dip in love
For the currents that make me see

Thank you
For the hills and the fields
We have passed many faces
I am grateful for each one of these
I chose to come thus far
But was carried here by siblings
Who made it happen

With this sudden realisation
We have filled Gaia with love
And continue to do so
Until homebound our true course
Takes this wagon full of gratitude
To a different altitude
Where the relative differences
Between giants has been settled
Over a cup of nettle tea
As in times of Olde
Before any talk of gold or barter
Where being martyr actually meant something

I forget that to give one’s life
Does not cease one breathing
But fills her with meaning
Beyond the mundane
Yet some call it insane
The path of giving

When the disguise trips to reveal
This canine Freudian slip
It is the tip of the iceberg
For the psyche
Wading through the dirt
a swine-like search
For the wisdom of truffle
Shuffling through the murky mess of life’s lurch
To attain the diamond in the sand

Passing it around to accept our mortality;
To find love for each other and manifest parity
For all these beings
With their sight they cause reality we live
So give what your will allows
Save enough rawness
To make some more mess
With this love and this land there is home for us all
To breath a clean conscience

In this predetermined egg and spoon race,
Neglecting the entire garden,
and the fact that we are guardians
Is lost to some
The epiphany will come
The sums will add up for the lazy
As the crazy rant and rave
Over their craving for a vegetative
Dietetic state of emergency

For the awakening to being
Pull this gem up from sin
Into ethereal environment
Silent merriment of the joker
Contests dominance lightly
But in secret will germinate madness
Within mass mind to tear apart
These castes which have broken
Our hearts to the point of compliance
With something less than pure science

A less than noble lie
Sense to drill
These nonsensical operations
Into our daily veneration for life
Meant to pierce what is left of eternity
With light so potent it can change our verse
Yet only when focused
With utmost certainty
So travel wide
Make sure

It will fill you with love so pure
You will come home a healer
By deed, not by choice
By nature
It will moisten the cavernous minds
Dried by systems unkind
of the dearly beloved you thought left behind
Yet here they remain as an anchor
To your destiny
By minding your roots with mycelial density
Reminding where one comes from

Give to this earth that we have grown
Anomalous flowering of mysterious seed sown
We can prune it to perfection
Correct these behavioral inflections
We inflict on each other
By seeking council with
Holiest temple our mother
To whom we should be grateful

To her
To him
To one another
Thank you
Only the highest realms of gratitude

Beauty I see but ashamed I be
For to look at this brightness
Brings familiar tightness
To my usually cool demeanour
Now blinded by the sun

I watch her through the looking glass
For I know that look will last
I am sure you will not catch mid-trance
Me stealing glance of precious shell
You keep so well
Or so it seems

At least I have learned
Not to squirm in my place
Instead when my heart yearns
Trace of love
I write it down purely
Not for sake of yours truly
But yours

To save awkward retort
When the stranger puts value
On what is your being
When it is not the whole they are seeing
But does the painter stop painting
When his subject now sleeps?
Or the Muse stop her throat
When the audience not-listens?

To manifest fleet moment
Now sailing away like the rest
They were too late to inform
For fear that those words
As the ropes that tie the esteem
Would result pulled and torn
So the damage this matter would cause
Is extreme

The alchemy knows
This not be the case
How the feelings of doubt
So much time they do waste
Like this I transform
In miraculous fashion
Your beautiful face
Into words everlasting

How much time has passed
Since the ***** in my armour last
Which stops flow coming
The space between sleepers
Slowing their moments
For the sake of a sorrowed spark
Making his mark on the pavement
How can these folk forsake the blatant laments
Of a pauper in king’s garments crying for change?

My gloat fails the throat
Instead of truth I sooth what is meant to be
Yet my soothing words fall to entropy before I manifest a pardon
For this lack of gratitude for art's garden
That has befallen the concrete cobbled empire
Of these glorified mongers of time
They give it away like infinite wisdom
Slipping from their grasp with every second
Spent in line looking forward to their freedom

Instead of seizing it in their hands
Primal roar to get past that meiopy
In the name of her majesty the queer
Peering out from her crystal mountain
With her blue blood and scaled skull
Tax checking the pardoned fortnight
That expensive foresight they can ill afford
Painted on their contours so beautiful
I try to drag it out
But like atlas, my groans
They bounce about and fall short

Of merchants' wails for biased expression
Promoting depression of consciousness
Spontaneous mess I create to shake the slumber
But grow humbler at my failure to save
Every single one of them
Young and old
Mothers and fathers
With the twirk of a wrist

How children see more and through them we will work
With their wide open hearts lies the start of the new world
So let us show them how
Then the universe will be never ending
Much like this thankless task