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  Oct 2014 Zanele Tlali
Dr Strange
I don't understand why the innocent must pay for the treacherous ways
Why they must be cut down like trees without ever getting a say
Constantly being picked at as if they are the turkey on thanksgiving day
The only difference is they don't get a silver tray
No,their trays are where ever they finally collapse from the pressure
Maybe they'd get lucky and fall in bed of roses
Like it would make difference anyways;
Still the carving knives would be feet that trample upon them,
And the forks would be fist that lay waste to their remains
Their tears would be flavor that was locked in their tender meat
As they curl up in ball trying to lessin the pain
The pain,the endless nightmare they deal with every single day
That is the toll they must pay
Waiting for their bodies to finally decay
Until then they are a mp3 stuck on replay
Living the same life over and over again
Some days the pain is actually worse;
The bleeding scare tissue never really goes away
It is just reopened wider everyday
At times it gets so bad they just lay
As they stare at the clouds that pass by
Smiling begging them to stay,
But no they always go away
That is when the blade comes into play
Finally they would close their eyes and began to pray
Look the other way and just say
"So the treacherous finally got their way¨
  Oct 2014 Zanele Tlali
Dr Strange
Have you ever starred in a mirror for so long you began to see just shapes
Nothing good or bad,just lines upon lines
You become so facinated by the art you see in the reflecting wall
You just began to lose yourself
Slowly forgetting about all the things you hated about yourself
Even the small things you actually like
For that short period of times nothing else seems to matter
The thought of being this perfect being that your not simply fades away
Gaining this self-confidence in yourself you never even knew you had
It's just a wonderful experience that you never want to lose
Then you snap back into reality
That moment you become so confused and sad for reason you don't know why
Thinking back in your life wondering where you went wrong
In most cases finding some false memory you want to believe is true
It's tragic really
You began to think why is life cruel
Hating ever little bit about it
Just becoming a hateful person in general
It's just sad
Why can't the images in the reflecting wall be reality

Just why...
I miss how close we used to be,
How open we could be with each other, a different kind of free.
I miss our long talks about anything under the sun.
We could talk about anything, never get bored, always having fun.
I miss the laughter and the jokes the most, always cracking me up.
I miss the way you knew me like nobody else ever could.
I loved how we could light up each other's day with a big hug or a smile.
Can you please help me to see, what happened in this short while?
Barely two months have passed, nothing happened, yet we only greet nowadays.
How did we go from inseparable to complete strangers.
Don't you remember?
Best friends for life, that's what we're supposed to be.
Grow up, get married, have kids, go out together.
Don't you remember?
I miss how close we used to be.
You're the only person who understood me, like no one else can.
You'd offer advice that always seemed to work, now who's going to do that.
Who's going to make me laugh like you did?
I miss how close we used to be.
Thousands of memories Stored up in my brain of all that we've been through together.
I will never forget the things you've done for me,
I'll always be here for you.
I miss how close we used to be.
There are days when I tend to let my thoughts get the better of me.
I tend to see things in a different way, completely changed you'd see.
I start to blame myself for things I have no control over.
But it all seems my fault, until someone speaks some sense in me.
My thoughts get the better of me so badly sometimes that I see more bad than good in what I once considered perfection.
I feel as if i'm ready to lose my mind
Emotions on a rollercoaster, but there's not even a high.
Inexplicable feelings, you just wouldn't understand.
The things I have to go through, you haven't experienced it first hand.
Though i've intended no harm, people were hurt nonetheless.
Cause you can't always please everybody, only a select few at a time.
I just haven't decided who's worth it, because i'm no good at goodbyes.
Why does it all hurt so much, can't explain the pain that my heart feels .
It saddens the heart, spirit and mind , my "happy buzz" is killed.
Amazing how we come to feel and think of the things we once cherished, once loved and will always remember.
Just know things aint always easy.
And there's more to what you see.
Best believe life's gonna change you
Just hope i'll still be me.
Its funny how you've always looked at someone but you've never really seen them. Like you've seen their physical appearance but you haven't really seen them until you've spoken to them and seen what they're really like. You've always looked at them but you never saw them for who they truly are. Its like once you speak to them all the walls of perceptions you've built up of them broke down in to tiny pieces and now you're building a completely new wall from scrap. Its like the veils have been removed from your eyes and the new wall seems obscurely beautiful. No flaws and imperfections and you stand completely in awe at the beauty of this new wall until something unfortunate happens for you to see it differently. Like now you see the wall has cracks and holes that probably were there all along, you just failed to notice I because you were blinded by their perfection all along. You never even saw it possible for them to have imperfections. Funny how the perception you've built of this person just changes so much in an instant.
I can't pretend that i'm angry at you, when really I'm not. I can't pretend that I hate you, when the opposite is true. I can't pretend you don't mean a thing to me, because you're absolutely perfect and I can't pretend that you don't matter to me, because you do. More than you think, tons more than you can imagine and immeasurably more than what your mind can perceive. I can't pretend that you don't matter, especially when I know in my heart that's not true.
Because you sure do matter, there's no denying that.
You matter more than anyone else and my mind knows that, my heart feels that and I have no choice but to believe that.
Sometimes it upsets me that you matter this much but there's nothing I can do, i'm too hopelessly in love with you. I can't stop now because i'm in too deep. Your love has got me crazy and I can't deny, it means something.
I can't pretend that you don't mean a thing, I can't pretend that you don't matter, when you matter, quite perfectly to me.
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