she cuts herself off
from the things that make her alive.
these things can destroy, too.
can cut the very life right out of her.
she won't take the risk.
won't bleed for them anymore.
their fanged smiles will fade, in time.
her spirit flows elsewhere;
strengthening.

"i never meant to lead you on..."
molten chocolate words oozed from his lips
matching the tears from those chocolate eyes.

then why did your mouth call to me?
why did you carry my leash all these months?
i ate up those candied words,
and i soothed those guilty eyes.

now i am lost.
without being led, i have drifted
from everyone.
i want to belong,
but not be tied.

inside the cavernous darkness of my heart,
lies a candle long forgotten.
i wait for a match, a perfect match.
one that can light the flame
that he so carelessly doused.

if poetry is the life-force my soul holds within, then my blood is the ink and my mouth is the pen.

your words are the honey,
your brain is the hive.
pollinate my words, so my
creativity can thrive.

i built that wall, with the strongest blocks.
let no one in, ever again.
to not have emotions, is to keep safe.
so i created a character, a new me.
she has all the characteristics of the old me..
but she's faking it.
i'm not proud of her, but
it's survival of the fittest.
and i just don't seem to fit.

that part of her is gone.
the part that makes the right decisions.
she abandoned it, with the hope
that she would feel.
those vultures eat her up;
scorching her innocence.
she'll take any closeness,
even if it's the wrong kind.
anything to feel wanted.
when all she ever felt was superfluous.
whispered nothings soothe her ears,
empty embraces chain her down.

fill your liver with love toxins,
your lungs with that sanguine smokiness.
take yourself to that world.
where, for a night, you are needed.

sitting by the phone, diminished confidence.
she opens her little black book...
and writes.

sleep avoids her like the plague.
or maybe, it is she that's avoiding.
he stays in her dreams,
she doesn't want to be lost there again.
he threw her away,
but she can't dispose of him so easily.
his promises hold no credit,
but at one point they were platinum.
every word sticks in her mind,
like honey.
she lost a little piece of her soul when he left.
with him it will forever stay,
a token to keep him safe.