Maybe if the thoughts
Could just leave me to myself
Then my promises
So futile, a farce of words
Spoken nightmares, Judas kiss

A mere wrinkle for you
for all god forsaken fools
Lost messages lying
i wonder how you wonder
How we can even now feel

We are my own fault
My anchor, my weight, my flaw
I am surrounded
By the pale, despondent shades
Of my own loved, treasured friends

I am the fracture
Fissured in continuity
I have now become
A paper tiger
I can not identify
who I am, senseless, numb

Oh curtain close,
bathe the singing birds in light.
The things that shatter so morose
set the honest proper way ablaze.

Detach from this world with nary a fight.
Existentially recall
how I feel so wrong and cold and bright
so if I call just take a deeper breath.

I don't want myself.
Mirror shards, cracks and crumbles.
I don't see myself.
I don't want to sink into
this hallowed ground. I want life.

Once more into the
fray, into the last good fight
I'll ever know. I
will not live till I die. Live
and die on this very day.

I will not control
my self. I cannot live nor
die till I see the
mirror shatter. I will live
or die on this very day.

I will never love
like the written joy we love.
Never will that be
as I wait for the waves
to push me to the wet shore.

I've gazed for months
and loved for years, taken all
that I gave to you,
and buried them in my backyard
waiting for them to revive.

I will never hate
for I've sunken in dirt
I let it seep in
I let it simmer and spoil
I let it fight and sink in.

But please don't forget
of all the times we've
never had. Let me
Hate, love and fill this **** pit
With my being, I sink in.