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Zack Turner Dec 2011
Life as a kid not thinking about much
Nothing about sadness, pain, and such
Little did she know that drugs would soon become a stress-relieving crutch

It all started simple; teen rebellion; all for fun
Nothing too serious, nothing really done
Years passed and life became more intense
Happiness now costing hundreds, and no longer cents
She started to realize that things were slowly getting worse
Scared, confused, and far too deep into everything
She blamed god for the curse

Her eyes gazed upon the sky, while tears streamed across her cheeks
And slowly fell off of her face
Wondering why she had become such a waste
So frustrated with her actions she decided to ease the pain with a knife
This river of blood revealed a new low in her life

She came to realize that ends do not always meet
So felonies were committed in order to pass defeat
All of her funds were for fun, whose duration was only measured in brevity
Distraught over the shortness, and the time that had been wasted away
Now realizing that dogs are not the only strays

Walking down the street she is passed by
Many stares from strangers due to the power of her cry
Vacant and empty without a feeling or remorse
Distraught about her actions, and their inherent course

Envisioning her family and loved ones alike
Makes each step and each breath a more painful might

Too close to the lives she has hurt and destroyed
Too angry with herself and far too annoyed
Thinking about her so-called life makes her sick
That it all ended with prayers, regrets, and a single click.
Zack Turner Jan 2012
I walk in to a room
I sit in a chair
I look around the room
It's empty
I stand up
I leave

I walk in to a room
I sit in a chair
I look around the room
It's filled
I stand up
I leave

I walk in to a room
I sit in a chair
I look around the room
It's empty
I stay seated
I smile
I wrote this with a thought of mine in mind, and that is that, "everything isn't anything if nothing isn't something." It's always helpful to realize what the good in everything is
Zack Turner Dec 2011
It never mattered when I thought of it
The words, so abstract
They held little weight
Like cheese puffs, staining my fingers
With a thought that lingers
Impossible to equate

She was the kind of girl whose pupils would dilate with every glance in a mirror
Attached to the unobtainable
Demanding to take something from the ungainable  

She wasn’t just one, maybe two
An idea, more so than a creature of non-fiction
In my mind clear with the description
Of how she looked, although vague in reality
It all makes sense in the end
Since she always seemed to think
Analogously
Be
Zack Turner Jan 2012
Be
Misunderstood and unguided
Seems the path that words may take
By those who view through tilted eyes
The wrath of what is fate

Decide to move and act as one
Mix up nothing between
What's true and seen
Versus false and heard
No table there is to clean
Zack Turner Feb 2012
We’re all so beautiful
Smiling as though nothing were to interrupt
Because nothing is supposed to

But it is this life that we live
So arduous, so rigid
That drives us so
Deterring us from that which we deem natural and whole

If it weren’t for this view that has been created
We wouldn’t have left the point
From which all other points have been made

All we ever wanted was to say hello
To acknowledge even the most remote
Accepting all that comes forth
Asking for nothing other than to breathe

And it is this breath that has made it so hard
For it wishes to be breathed once more
Having been welcomed by the herd past shunned
Begging for nothing other than
A chance to have begun
R.I.P. Nick. I'll always remember you buddy
Zack Turner Dec 2011
One by two they passed me without regard
In a state of catatonia drenched with regret

They moved towards the obstructions in their path
Like flies do towards bright lights

Marching like ants in a line
All holding their ticking time bomb
Unknowingly anticipating the explosion

This isn’t in the instruction manual
What do I do now?
Zack Turner Dec 2011
It’s like my words were perishable
Eaten once, then forgotten
Although they rather not
And neither do you
Wish upon such a star from afar

It’s all defense

I never moved
You changed locations
Like wandering gypsies
With no map given
While expectations were held

An end without a start
Zack Turner Dec 2011
Toy soldiers align in formations
Where generals command their fleets to vanish
Into the depths of time
Amidst rectangular caverns of sand

Villages of gingerbread decay
Leaving behind many half-broken smiles.

Ornamented plush friends mozy along the meadows of one’s mind
Finding dreams that were once read,
While snowmen slowly melt away
Becoming dried up memories
That remind us of what was once

Upon completing level ten
All has come to a cease

A tear at last
Zack Turner Dec 2011
Other days will come. The silence
Reminds me of you, and all of our quiet days
When nothing was similar. All that’s left is the violence
That tears through my mind as I sit here on our steps and gaze

If I came back it would never seem like it once did,
Which is more of a wound than when the laceration was fresh.
I guess its time to close the lid
Abandon dependency, and clean my flesh

It still rings in my eyes like movies played in reverse
The ending starts the film
A memory of inverse

Walking back, all of the pictures begin to melt away
People ask questions showing their concerns
A tired voice manages to whisper, I’m ok
Zack Turner Sep 2012
We're All Here To Create
But what are we really
Our hands grasped so tight
When the cup should just spill free

Report me to your role
Not as the alternative
A conversation about nothing
Without a thought to give

So natural and so real
As it all comes to cut
Dangerous as designed
Never left to ask what
Zack Turner Jan 2012
So bittersweet is this nectar
Dripping from your eyes or lips
Cascading down upon my own
Making a full eclipse

It moves just as it breathes
Vacillating in all respects
So shiny and dull, the screaming, a lull
How well it does reflect

The time it seems to take to see
Is half of what its worth
To live again, so precious yes
The knowledge is the birth
Zack Turner Jan 2012
All that encompasses my survival of time
Are gloomy gray quiet nights
In this reoccurring winter of mine

As I fall upon the once trees
I relapse as I see
The solitary state of my life as I slowly freeze

Shivers slash my system as swords did once ago
While this quiet evening storm continues to grow

As I forget about my apathy
And the vacancy of tang in my life
Culmination is conceived
By the fine edge of this knife
Zack Turner Feb 2012
If it never mattered once ago
The difference lies in you
Deciding now is greater when
It really is the same

Two lines can intersect at many points
But the lines still remain independent
May be a reply

The truth lies in the hand and eye
Realizing that at the core
The lines are lines
And nothing more
Zack Turner Feb 2012
If it weren’t for the cause that tore me apart
I would never have known what the point was
It left me stranded as many
But made me rise as one
Zack Turner Feb 2012
Grasp each moment and each person
As though they were the last
Of which you could see or breath
And soon enough
The world will seem so lovely
I believe
Zack Turner Jan 2012
Abandon them
To remain in a flux of their own cause
Standing still
Looking for the sign
A weakness
From which they will thrive and flourish

Let them die
To the rhythm of your intellect
Collapsing the pores from which they breathe
Reminding them
That they are not real
I wrote this in reference to how one's mind can take control over your ability to manage and rationalize thoughts, where the only way to get past the thoughts is to let them die, and to then move on.
Zack Turner Dec 2011
Three seconds left
There’s no timeouts remaining.
The fans are full of resentment
With hope surely waning.

The ball bounces against the floor,
Repetitious with its nature.
Congruence with each ascension,
Life gasps for air with this momentous suspension.

There’s nothing that can be changed or rearranged.
Nothing to help, nothing to hurt,
Unexplainable anxiety as you slowly tear your shirt.

A bounce,
A roll,
A movement,
A fall.
An exorbitant amount of disbelief.

The stopping clock brings a new sound.
A collapsed heart, and a detached soul,
The new demeanor now begins to take its toll.

It’s the end of all of this noise,
And all of this hope.
No longer precariously wavering upon this rope.

It’s snapped, it’s different, no longer the same.
If only this was about a game.
Zack Turner Jan 2012
Sometimes my mind will race
To a far and lonely spot
And I feel the need to chase
To find out what it’s not
But it seems that time is short
So it may not be enough

Even though the fight is fare
It never seems that way
Put up with all I could bare
But no longer can I stay
I’m running from it all
Nothing to stop me
i wrote this to the rhythm of the song "thinking about you" by radiohead
Zack Turner Dec 2011
I remember when the world told me I was wrong, that
Dreams aren’t real, and neither are good intentions.
Live as you speak, not as you breathe.
That’s what I was told to do
And follow it I did
Until I collapsed
Losing
Each breath
From my lungs as if
They were somebody else’s
Who needed them more than I did
Since it seemed like I really didn’t care
About half of the things I pretended to belong to
It only seemed natural to agree with such a demanding force
Like it was the voice of my own that spoke from within
Allowing me to see things as though I were looking
Through planes of clouded glass that were
Supposed to aid my travels with
Their fogged state of self
Zack Turner Aug 2012
Freedom isn't freedom when you think about it really
When there is no other way to live
Trapped by societal pressures and stressors to be something greater or lesser
But it's not really who you are

Enriched with your own self-esteem
Nothing from pill, powder, or green
Controlled of the station viewed

But that's not how they want it
All the companies have fronted
Thousands of dollars for their revenue

It's freedom from the free
That's what we're looking for

Freedom from the free
For ever and ever more

Freedom from the free
What's playing on channel four

Freedom from the free
Television stations do not exist anymore
another song idea in the works
Zack Turner May 2012
Nothing is what it is

The emptiness of it all
Vast, numbered, varied

All encompassing


It surrounds and it chokes

Life much like death
Light much like dark

So bitterly indifferent
Zack Turner Feb 2012
An empty bed will seem so lonely,
If you fail to count yourself.
For without what is internal,
What good is sociable wealth?
Zack Turner Dec 2011
Quiet is the morning
Laying lazy and relaxed
A peaceful stillness in the air
Its presence left untaxed

Gentle is the sunlight
Calming me and my locale
No words, no wants, nothing to hear
Everything as it shall
after finding out that my girlfriend of the current time had cheated on me, she quickly became my ex-girlfriend. it was frustrating though because she left so much of her stuff at my place, making it a constant reminder of what happened, forcing me to think of it more than i ever wanted. i had a hard time dealing with it at first, and since i live alone it was so quiet every morning, opposed to the good morning kiss from my girlfriend. i realized in time that everything was good as it was, and i didn't need her company, especially considering the circumstances. i wrote this the morning i figured that all out.
Zack Turner Dec 2011
Don't walk past the present
Since now is what was once to be
Plant your roots in a natural hole to
Reach past the light, growing, extending
Further
Zack Turner Dec 2011
Life perceived by eyes slightly tinted from a past
Problematic situations appear suddenly vast
Unable to comprehend the actions of others
Due to the daily discourse of thought inside my mind
Not just another
Careless aimless being simply living to find
A new undiscovered way to waste money and time
Logic and reasoning with each and every step
It’s been ten months and I haven’t forgotten yet
People sometimes ask why I do the things I do
And I say, “To try to live with purpose, how about you?”
It’s clear that for many, maturation has not yet come
But for me, it’s been some time
It has not just begun
Now don’t think that I don’t relax and never laugh or smile
Because each and every day I do and it lasts for a while
But when it’s time to handle duties
I believe I handle things well
Ever since my release it feels as if it has been a spell
Nothing I would ever want to have taken away
But something I love and cherish
With gratitude and happiness
Every single day
Although what has occurred in my life has been a great atrocity
I feel as if I have grown
And that nothing can stop me
To accomplish what I want in life
Without being a bore
Hoping to grow old someday
Praising god for allowing me to not walk out that final door
It is evident my personality and mind have changed,
But if feel as if it has been for the good
Unable to comprehend why the world doesn’t do what they should
I wake up everyday now with a purpose and direction
Ironically enough it may have been my greatest blessing
Simply knowing what was close and what could possibly be
I feel that my soul now speaks and that my heart can see
Before I was only concerned with objects or the plan for a night
Nothing truly important
Nothing with great height
But now I see what’s important and what needs to be
For I feel that my soul now speaks and that my heart is free
I wrote this ten months after I was released from the hospital after being the passenger in a near fatal car crash.
Zack Turner Dec 2011
It's all so beautiful
The inherent qualities upon which we live our lives
To learn, to love, to protect

While apparent to some, others are left behind
Lacking the luster which propels them to see
Afraid, perhaps
To truthfully divulge
One's essence
Something pure

Unlike these others
There do exist few
Who have fully assembled
These pieces
These thoughts
This love
Zack Turner Dec 2011
You were bored and I didn’t listen
I guess my hearing wasn’t the best
But for a moment that lasted months
You were proud of the nest
Built within my eyes
Crafted with trickery and deception
Dressed in a bow tie
Refuting any thought of introspection
Zack Turner Dec 2011
So distant the slow rolling wave breaks
Crest after trough
Cascading through what is mostly nothing
Rising and falling
To a rhythm from within
Zack Turner Feb 2012
It all seems to disappear
When you let it
For what is keeping it there
Other than the ferocity of your own
Which has faded
Like those designer jeans that were so important
At one time or another
But now have been left on the hanger
Waiting to unfold
To be worn as designed
So novel and so chic
Zack Turner Aug 2012
Here you are as am I
When we both look at the same
Acting like it's differernt
Such a ridiculous frame

Your clouded eyes could never see
The reason to your rhyme
Detached from the consequences
Everything is just fine

Squares and circles all align
What could ever differ
Please don't talk to me anymore
Understand and refrain

Look at me one more time
Ask me something or get lost
To me it seemed
That you had been taught
lyrics for guitar song (c5-c#5-c5-c#5-f5-f#5-f5-f#5)
Zack Turner Feb 2012
Raindrops fall down on my window
To be wiped off

Cascading down, trickling too
They move so irregular

With one swipe they stand unmatched
Unable to exist

But then another raindrop falls
So the swipe shall persist
Zack Turner Jan 2012
It could be that I
Have misheard these words before
But the stench of them all
Reminds me
That they’re real
And it is there that they sit
Staring back to say
Nothing
Other than the inverted intentions
That these hands of character have affirmed
In both my eyes as well as
Yours
Zack Turner Jan 2012
Turn the page, and let it fall
As though there were nothing to stop it
Which is true, it's only
You
Who
Needs to be convinced
That once your fingers release their grasp
The weight of the page
Will cause it fall like the ones before
Zack Turner Dec 2011
Lies, all spoken backwards at first
Floating in a balloon of a smile
To hide what's veritable
It all must burst

Run from your feelings, it's likely safest
Confuse and misuse the other
And now I'm outrageous?
Blame this upon no one but yourself

I came with open hands
Eager and ready to help
But my ambition was a wild fur
From which the hunter could make her pelt

Now that all has been revealed
My eyes are looking forward
As well as my heart and mind
A chin held high
I  smile, and I feel fine
I wrote this after breaking up with my ex-girlfriend when I found out she cheated on me. It ****** at first but I soon realized all of the things that were going wrong all along, yet I remained blind to them at the time.
Zack Turner Jan 2012
See what's real
Remember to smile
What's bad is created
So it can deconstruct

Leave the excess behind
Your mind is your sanctuary
Worship within as you do in public
Realize, refocus, recenter
Wrote this thinking about my actions during the day and how they could have been improved
Zack Turner Dec 2011
Unannounced and uninvited,
Who did reckon these
Immaterial obstacles
To fall from their freeze?
Zack Turner Dec 2011
Behind the eight-ball,
Never up to par.
It seems that I will always,
Persistently fall.
With no one to help,
Certainly no one to aid.
Is it the brutality of life,
Or am I truly afraid?
I have no control,
I’ve lost it all,
All alone by myself,
With no friend to call.
Complexities vex my mind,
As I struggle through each day,
Lost without a map,
Trying to find my way.
Emotionally screaming hoping for someone to see,
How distraught and depressed my mind can be.
I’ve lost my soul forever,
Or maybe just for a while.
One thing it seems I’ve lost for good,
Is the ability to smile.
My heart has been abducted,
But it has never moved,
Perhaps this is why,
I am so confused.
Am I the only one who always feels like this?
It’s too much,
I can’t bare to withstand,
This constant mental crisis.
I suppose I will continue breathing,
Although it is never relieving.
My lungs have collapsed,
My heart begins to slow,
I will continue to freeze,
In this heavy blanket of snow.
I wrote this when I was depressed in senior year of high school.
Zack Turner Jan 2012
Wander wide, far, from few
Release thy armaments
The world is welcoming
Zack Turner Dec 2011
Looking at pictures from before
Reminds me how soon it will be
When something of such will not be of possibility

Past along like axles in assembly lines
Memories slip through my fingers
Dissolving like dew on grass at sunrise in May

Inanimate flashes of color establish my absence
As if I had planned this departure prior to arrival
I wrote this after looking at all of the pictures I took over a trip with my parents, realizing that all of them were of scenery and none contained me or my parents. This made me sad because I realized that it would never be the case again that I would be in that same place with my parents, in my same state of mind, and point in my life. Pictures are like time capsules, unleashing the moments in flashes, and I was sad to not have anybody in those moments.
Zack Turner Jan 2012
It seems that life is filled with
Multiple measures of inexplicable gloom
One more plunge will bring
This long awaited doom

Diving fast
Head first
With no thoughts of regret

Bones are shaking
Heart is aching
Drops of sweat pierce my brow
As my eyes see the cement
That soon will be making
A prayer, a wish, and an escape
Become reality

No last thoughts
Please hurry this last fall
I want no new beginning
Don't leave me here to crawl
I'm tired of all of this
I want no part of it at all

So forget me fast
Like a week old sneeze
And let my soul dance away
In this lovely summer breeze
I wrote this when I was depressed after my senior year of highschool. Such a strange time of emotions. I'm much happier now.
Zack Turner Aug 2012
She's all alone
It's Thursday night
She's eating with a candle light

A glass of wine or maybe three
To help to drown her company

The noise around is all a blur
Everyone's laughter seems to stir

As people pass they all will stare
She noticed, and hoped that one would care

No love for work
No self-esteem

No one to love
Nothing to dream

She's had enough
It's all the same
Not another day of this stupid game

Her shopping bag is fully packed
No thoughts for action, the plan is exact

With one last toast she'll kiss goodbye
Her loneliness and the beauty of its lie
Zack Turner Feb 2012
This vacant touch
So soft and so shallow

Moving without vigor
Lying weightless as silent

Detached from itself
So empty and so vague
Zack Turner Dec 2011
Consume me, eat me
More bites before few
To make it all seem important
The things that I do

Direct me, move me
Like shepherds before sheep
Past the first hill
A message more deep
Zack Turner Aug 2012
Distraught and disturbed by most things around
It's all a mind state, viewing from the ground
But it's tough to look up, when there's never enough
Of what us needed, to believe, and you feel so stuck
Conceited in their actions, distractions posed in factions
Everything is meant to be, how could this really happen?
Zack Turner Dec 2012
It's all just a picture
One flash of color behind the next
Each demanding to be recognized as something new or novel
While they both are of the same

Tangential one may claim
So distant from itself
As though its shadow were not its own
Hidden yet uncovered
6/25/12
Zack Turner Jan 2012
Sometimes there's nothing
To see, to feel, to hear
Which announces reality
Clear, asking only to exist
And it is this that perturbs the mind so
I wrote this after a day when nothing really seemed to feel right, and it was as though I was looking for something to fill a void of emotion, when really the only thing that would correct the situation would be for me to realize that there was nothing that I needed other than that which was already existing. Too often it seems that we humans look for something to create or guide our happiness/state of self, when the only thing that is needed is yourself, free of all things external.
Zack Turner Jan 2012
Wet pavement
Gray clouds
Speeding cars
Talking loud
Green light
Cars go
The crosswalk says no
Tennis ***** being smacked
Families begin to pack
Others walk upon the boards
Kids rebelling from their chores
Waves crash
Upon the sand
The gambler gets
His final hand
Gusts of wind
Consistently blow
Until the day
Of the first snow
It's far away
But I'm here now
Was home at once
Was home at now
Zack Turner Mar 2012
There goes another empty beer
On another empty night
Wrapped up in heart ache
Paralyzed by fright
Zack Turner Dec 2011
I thought I knew you
But who could you really be?

Like a mystic floating
I’ve lost the desire to find you
Hidden beneath the leaves and grass
Like insects made novel

You became what I thought wouldn’t
Although, I guess it should have been predictable

Like movies played in inverse
You told me what I expected last
As if it were the beginning
That started with a goodbye

My eyes have seen the drought, your drought
That you have slain upon me
Amassing the herds in packs
Slurping the nectar from its core

Lost like maps forgotten
I’ve seen the path past its due
Detached from the purpose it began with
Until it no longer became a feasible entity

I smiled once
Some time ago, when you would do the same
As if it were impossible to replicate
In these modern times of your shield and sword

A block was made in timely fashion
Directing the future
To behave in accordance to the chalked outline
That guided your thoughts rationally

It were as if wilts became blooms
A retraction from the *** itself

Open disposal systems function as minutes follow seconds
Free to churn the timbers of thought
That cascade down upon yourself
Like compliments showering the undeserving

Could it be that once, a decision was made in reaction to
The plan of something ethereal
Instead of actions done for oneself
To be shed like coats unwanted
Zack Turner Aug 2012
All of this shouting, but who's to really claim
When we walk around so faceless with nothing to gain

It's just a system to extrapolate your fears
Designed to be destructive, disgusting, and to jeer

Quiet as we sit, appearing only to view
Questioning nothing, we're erupting into something new

It's a victimless society, for we have all chosen consent
As we cry to the TV for what's true, we pray and repent

Blinded by the odds we ebb and bob like a float in water
But the bed is dry, there's nothing to deny, enjoy this job
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