soft silly syllables sauntering slowly at sunset
after all ambiguous adjectives adversely affect our amicability
feigning fickleness funding fearfulness finding finality in foolishness
egress endlessly ever evading the
end

A lion that cannot roar,
A mouse's voice that booms across a tiny horizon
in a box pushed up against the window
shuffling about in the night
aimlessly pacing forgetting what was just back there
but knowing that he unwraps the fabric of time
spinning it back, onto A spindle-y future
BLIND BLIND BLIND
a mouse gone blind now thrice
what can't I see
What can can i see
what if you don't see too
well then i must be
MADMADMADMAN
there is something blurry off there in the distance
i can cannot tell if my window is *****
or the thing is simply a vague example of poor resolution
My voice booms
is it is louder than it isn't is it
SHOW ME SHOW WE SHOW US US US US
if you brought your nocs
what is it you see
CAN IT BE
that poorly resolved distant figurine behind the ***** glass of the cardboard prison is it could it be
ME

A man in a house sits in one room,
he can only do this one room at a time, perhaps
occupying all space, all rooms
but probably not
because when i move
i hope its not just a room
but a room with me in it
alas he is alone even still
bah i dont need this ranch house crocidile dundee *******
even still
spreading my hands apart and touching either horizon
i see no answer from here
even still
looking around wandering about the places i have found myself
i still fall in
like a seed
penetrating the earth
i do it backwards
knowing that the end result
is the sun
sun in, love out

We were playing a strange game
this old man and I
the coin in the middle of the table
we stared at it
we stared at each other
he slammed his fist down
the coin flipped into the air
when it touched back down
I did the same
then it was his turn
he screamed something unsettling
and it was my turn and i laughed
unfortunately this went on
forever

My shoes are ***** from walking through ****
I should have taken them off
that would have been nice
to let the **** flow over my toes
to feel the squish beneath my heel
do you know of the squish
it is divine
i could have been up to my knees in ****

I went* to california today
when i arrived i ran from the car straight to the beach
there i frolicked in the surf and the sand
until i realized that i was tired from the long drive
and the sand was making me itchy
so i went inside to enjoy a cup of tea
i found that tea tastes the same in california
the walls look the same too and the textured ceiling
turns out the tv runs an hour early out there though
but thats only by my watch apparently
i will go and meet the locals
and so i did
they are no more local than me
i met a man who told me that the government was out to get me
i met an older lady who likes flowers
i met an older man who didn't like the look of me
I found twenty somethings that like to sit around and get confused
i met a happy couple with a child they were holding hands and smiling
i found myself at the end of the day sitting on a bench
i found myself bored with life
so i sat lost in a downward spiral of beautiful thoughts
my outside must have looked sad
because a pretty girl  sat beside me
she said
"what are you doing here"
i looked apologetic and started to leave
she grabbed me by the hand and pulled me back
she said
"you look like you want to play a waiting game"
i was but i would never tell her that
she smiled and laid her head on my shoulder
at that moment the sun was setting
we watched and waited
*and then it was dark
and i knew that this place was special

word are words
no different from
the whining of a hound
we can sit in our silly circle
and bite and bark in each others faces
i will be completely entertained
dancing around the outside
laughing smiling
but there are times when all i want
is for you to see me
watch me dance
look what i can do
and how am i supposed to do such a thing
get your attention
i will howl
i will howl
i will howl and howl and howl
until you come over and
softly sweetly with a smile
scratch me behind my ear

we are all standing out in the rain
huddled close for warmth
staring at our feet
and a blue light streams
in my ear and out the other
into yours
and into his and so on
until it comes back to my ear
and onto yours
we are standing in the rain
i look up at you and smile
you smile back

In this world of big lows and little highs
we've created these holes for us to live in
we've created these problems
I don't want you to solve them
I just want to forget them
and dig my way out of this entropy
girl wont you come and dig with me
dig with me
dig with me
I despise this world of little highs
little lies told by your pretty eyes
but there is truth on the surface
beyond the chaos
dig with me

are you going my way
this way that way my way
which way are we going
are we going down
are we going to get down
........... get dooooowwwn
are we coming up
up up up and away from here
lets just go
come on your killing me
lets just ******* go
go go go
lets not stop whats going to stop us
that way quick quick that way
FOR ***** SAKES WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
what are you afraid of
.....please

my brain feels sticky
thoughts aren't clicking
dragged down in this house
being trapped like a mouse
this rolling twisting thing is icky
folding me in screaming and kicking
so long dearest friends
time is long again
beating a mouse named mickey
i long to be with you licking
your loose ends
there is love to apprehend

Standing on the shore
This line between two oblivions
I watch the sun doused by ocean
and with it i melt into sand
becoming millions of tiny little grains
pushed and pulled by struggling waves
I am draged out to sea
drifting away from myself
in millions of tiny directions
and today I was swallowed by a clam
cooking in the belly of this beast
that anchors itself for fear of...
perhaps one day I will become a pearl
and be carried off to an exotic land
where I will adorn the neck of
the most beautiful lady
and after each dinner party
she will put me away and sigh
and i will still be a million tiny little grains of sand

my glowing eyes
and your darkened
feelings, i will
illuminate the
the nastiness
in your soul
and once we
find it, together
we can scrub it
clean with brillo
and bleach
and oh, beware
it will hurt

touching bodies in the pit
sweating like some fat thing
swinging to the power of the drums
beats that beat me like
the poor lifeless equine
in the middle of the track
i feel her and i shudder
i feel him and i quake
i feel all of you and you feel it too
because we might as well be naked
****** here in the pit
the tones that tear our chests apart
threatining to explode
in a shower of glorious gore
binding us in blood and love
dance dance dance

i fell in love with you today
the way you kind of rolled your r's
trying to sound more sophisticated
i think thats what did it
your voice was soft as my most favorite blanket
your laugh was sudden and mirthful
i could see your eyes
i could feel you curves
even when i told you about the 49.99
you just smiled with your words
making my fluttering heart drift slowly
to where it belongs
and then you said
"honey do we want to get dvr"
....
i know he isn't good enough for you

Today i woke up
went outside to take a ****
and when i came back in
I found a cockroach
he says hi

believing in things that i dont believe in
living a life that everyone is so proud of
acting out quietly and where noone can see me
coddled by the assurance that i will be eternally rewarded
**** me please please please **** this thing i have become

help is a luxury for afforded to those less fortunate
originally that is what i thought
lately i've realized that we are all pretty unfortunate
evil permeates the very existence of man

Have you

Ever felt like

Ideas

Jotted on the

Back

Of a napkin

In some

Celestial bar

I feel the soft

Grass beneath my fingers

Dissolving into dirt

Staring at the sky

Earth swallows

Me whole

The worms crawl through

Me blades of grass take root

In my chest

I am in mothers

Womb but I never

Lose sight of the sun

It shines on me with

The brilliance of life

Tree roots grow under me

Into my mouth

And nose the sun

Bids me rise

My brother tree

Lefts me from

Soil

Holds me in his mighty arms

Lifts me high

An offering

As I grow taller

I play with the

Baby clouds

They run and laugh

Taller

Through clouds

Past sky

In space I grab

Stars

Pop them like pills

Near the sun

I melt

Follow me home

Pretty girl

Take me home

Choke

Down one more

Take one more

**** to yourself

Esteemed ****

Hide one more

Tear

Scream shake

When I get

Off

Pretty

Girl

Your daddy

Didn’t love you

Much

Let me do it too

Drunk

Ugly

Pretty girl

Little pretty girl

Will you **** me

Back home

Pretty

Girl

smile and laugh

Arrows

Missiles

Dancing floating

Dipping tucking diving

Falling in and out

A graceful melody

Full of highs and lows

Direct yet vague

Falling stars in and of each other

One yet many

United in order to divide

Wings songs stories

Birds

Jump

So far down

May be I should

Fling myself from solid ground

Free fall for the rest of my life



Jump

I’ve come too far

No turning back

Leap into the unknown

Free fall for the rest of my life



Jump

Dark bottomless void

Wings will not open

Nothing to hold me back

Free fall for the rest of my life



Jump

Alright  into oblivion

Wind rushes through my veins

A poison is ripped from my bones

Life flows through my finally beating heart

My mind is opened wide

Free fall for the rest of my long life

Please God right now

They were only boys

Please god right now

If they could only say

Please God right now

Sail until Sunday

Please god right now

Left outside in the rain

Please God right now

These young are done

Please god right now

They were only boys

But they are men

Please God they need you now

what world is the this that seems so lost
where vision is dream and dream is forgotten
as i step through the void of faith
and enter the realm of fever
i lose my body and its willingness to be
i cannot feel the pain but it’s still there
gnawing at me like scavenger of sanity
i let my feet shuffle off the icy floor

Maybe one day I will find out

what it means to love

I know what lust is

lust is long dark hair

lust is a firm body

an ecstatic giggle

in the dark

lust is a long touch

in a crowded room

lust is a carnal and wholly animal thing

that occurs when eyes meet

in a terrible exchange

of hedonistic intentions

lust is sugar and snails

and a happy puppy wagging his tail

lust is two bodies

sweating together

in the heat of passion

moaning

writhing squirming scratching

biting

pushing, for the polar opposites of torture

perhaps one day I will learn to love

unconditionally till death

but i think lust is

good, too

The power, it may be man

while they sit in their

gold and fat, and sweat

I’ll tell em all the   truth

they will call for

rope to neck, for blood

I’ll tell em all the   truth

I’ll tell em all          truth

And spit it out like demons

I’ll laugh

As they squirm

Then they laugh

“whats funny”

Then I will laugh harder

And I’ll laugh

And I’ll laugh

AM I DEAD YET…

no..........

perhaps now

if not now

Ever?

then what do you want with me

I cast my line into the water. The bobber bounced a few times and then rested on the surface slightly cocked to the side. I pulled my hat down low, just far enough to block the sun and still see the water. Everything was quiet. Tigger was running around the other end of the pond, looking for raccoons I guess. He went to the water and took a drink, then he took off into the woods. He’ll be back. I love that dog. I must have had him for 10 years now.

              I lit up a cigarette, a Marb red. God, this is the life, man, just chillin, fishin. I had other things to do. I should be looking for a job I guess. I should probably be cleaning my apartment, or taking care of those overdraft fees, I forgot about those, ****. Oh well, this is my day. The birds had started to sing again. I whistled along, Andy Griffith’s theme song, God’s gift to whistlin fishermen. I could feel the sun on my bare arms. That’ll be good for my tan. I took another drag on my cigarette, the air was calm enough that I could blow smoke rings. So I did, for about an hour.

Then out of the corner of my eye I saw the tip of my pole dip down a little, it did it again, again, and again. Finally the bobber disappeared under the water. I grabbed my pole and started to reel ‘er in. It was a catfish, about five pounds I’d say. This was perfect, I would get Tigger and we could go home and fry this sucker up, and I would drink a few brews, watch the game and go to bed. What a wonderful day. I called for Tigger, but he didn’t come out of the woods. Probably found one of those *****. So I walked around the pond to where I saw him go in. No matter how many times I called for him he didn’t come back. I searched for two whole hours but I couldn’t find my dog. He was gone.

How can you say you want into my world                                                            ­            

How can you know, I guess you can’t.

Into this dark rancid place here,

Mine is a world filled with deep shadow

And grainy lights

Mine is a world of dripping pipes

Broken bones, blobodies of

Creatures that twitch and

Moan and wail in death

Mine is a world of deeper shadow

Where none would dare to stray

From the sanctuary of grainy light

This place needs a candle, just one

To fight on the side of warmth

Forces here that pull me down

I mean literally pull me down

And make me move by dragging

My heavy body across concrete fields

They are my life blood

This existence has ripped my clothing long ago

And now proceeds to strip me to

The bone

My fingers bleed

and my mouth was sown shut by dead rabbits

That couldn’t stand the laughter

So I crawl and mumble through stitches

Let me say what needs to be heard

So I can tell these people from shadow

Come this way and the light will follow

They can’t see the bruised blood

On dusty lamps

I need your help to tidy up a bit

Let me tell them

I am here I am here

I am alone

Please send help

What a wonderful feeling
Having you in my arms
You sing me songs and laugh

Darling
I love more than anything when you’re
Dancing

Years have passed in these moments
Outside
Under the tree

Lazy summer wind
Every bird is singing
And after the sunsets it feels so
Very perfect
Even the stars are dancing

My heart is pounding
Every feeling I have leaps when you kiss me

Nothing can stop us
Our love is immortal
What a wonderful feeling

Not a soul
as the snow flies
through the headlights
houses
become neon blurs
each one
allowing me to peer
into what was once
dark
the road tries to
surprise
me, it works
sometimes

Memory just like an old wine

Little notes from the past

A song that slips in and out of key

Or letters to an old friend who can never write back

A fingertip on the surface of a lake

Causes ripples that have potential to

Yet never quite making it to the other side

To the past I say as I lift my glass high

And drink the memories

A toast to you my long gone friend

While I play a song that slips in and out of key

Forget time little men
just mother
wrapped in my womb
you hurt your mother
you stab and hack
burn
you are all my children
all a product of my creativity
why why my tiny friends
do you hate me
do you hate eachother more
why do you hurt your poor mother
you worry me sick
but it hurts me more to see you go
i will be here long after you have all gone

sitting singing
songs of solitude
swallows swoop slowly by
staring at my soft serenity
so i stand
start to run
swinging my arms
held aloft by good will
higher than the
Heavens

Letting my body melt as i climb closer to the sun
it is just me
set amongst the stars
time
eviscerated
not a soul, just a star, shining bright

The captain stood solemnly
recieving what he saw
with stark indifference

the dark clouds towered above his tiny ship

he drank deep in the danger
taking a lungful of air
he finally let himself see his crew

they were frightened

this invigorated him
but he did not want it to
he had always taken pleasure
in being "The Captain"

hoping when hope was lost to other men
lesser men

but he knew deep down
there was nothing lesser about
these particular men
he also knew they would all die
presently

he parted his lips to begin his final oration