You look at me with those eyes
The ones that criticize
The ones that know everything
The ones that watch me while I sleep

And words spill from your throat
The ones I've always known
And now I finally realize
That you were laughing the whole time

As you drink your night away
I watch your fall from grace
While you look at me and smile
With that sad look upon your face

I wonder where I am
And what I've done to become
This ugly monster that I see
Staring right back at me

This is never what I wanted for us, dear
Now It's all crashing down
Now you're the only thing I fear
Who you were meant everything to me
And now I'm trapped inside the thing
That you wanted me to be

So I'm going home.

You're a river in a drought
You're the bad taste in my mouth
That I can't seem to wash away
No matter how loud I shout

Like a lion stalks it's prey
You're with me every day
And like a brick against my head
You silence everything I say

As we feed ourselves to death
I long for your breath
But there isn't anything
That's left inside of me

I remember where I am
And what I've done to become
This ugly thing that I see
Growing inside of me

This is never what I wanted for us, dear
Now It's all crashing down
Now you're the only thing I fear
Who you were meant everything to me
And now I'm trapped inside the thing
That you wanted me to be

So I'm going--

*I can't feel anything anymore

It's been 11 for hours and my pen hasn't said a word
I should start keeping a tab on how often I've been assured
That the world is thoughtful and cares about what I've endured
But if life was worth living the poets would all sound absurd

See, I've never understood the concept of Jesus
But I've always tried to keep my mouth shut
And I've never gotten why people fight
But then again I've never been so stuck

And while I never linger too long on anyone
I always seem to catch them watching me
And while I always try to keep both eyes ahead
To this day there's never been that much to see

The world's getting older
I'm just getting colder
The world's never thought too much of me

I've never cared much for gold and shiny things
And I've never understood what it means to be best
Still I'm standing in the clear and I'm getting the hell out of here
I'm gonna put my soul to the test

The world's getting colder
I keep getting bolder
****, ain't that something to be

"I don't love you," he told her
You can cry on my shoulder
Maybe one day you can be there for me

I hate this stupid place
With all its gasses
And those happy faces surrounding me

And I hate everything
That I'm not
And everything I planned on being

But maybe I'm too young
To write about growing old