He was good enough for some of her,
but apparently not all of her.

My armor gets bigger,
my knot feels heavier,
my self gets smaller.

How did she break me?

Demons and darkness, infected and worn.
Angels and light, my mind now torn.
Murderous intent, eyes ablaze.
No energy to fight, help break this haze.

Days go on, the seconds creep.
If life allowed, forever I'd sleep.
My moments awake, your face I see.
I'd sell it all, even soul to be free.

I want to forget, erase what's been done.
This mind is a prison I can't outrun.
Forgive and forget, that's what they say.
I'll tie me a noose, hang there and pray.

This pain sits heavy inside.
A black hole of un-dealt feeling.
It hurts to carry this daily.
The daunting task has me reeling.

I wish for the weight lifted,
But there is only one remedy.
I need her to be with me,
this darkness needs her clarity.

She is the lighthouse I need.
Saving me from these emotional tides.
Without her, the rocks of life threaten.
I may not survive what's manifested inside.

The wall still stands but my head now hurts.
I slam and I slam, but the pain still lurks.
I want rest, I want release,
Please God, a second of peace.

The quiet, the loneliness, the insanity.
Heart beating faster, soul against gravity.
I can hear the grass grow, my mind screams.
The world as I know it, splits at the seams.

This is the thin line, those cursed must walk.
Step left, dead silence and ghosts that stalk.
Step right, blaring chaos and psychotic bind.
Must find this middle or I'll lose my mind.

Panic, anxiety, fear, depression and hopelessness.
Rage, dispair, life unfair, nothing but loneliness.

In one moment in time,
the pain of rejected love met
with the bliss of a first kiss.

Her soft lips, the focus of new infatuation.
Her smile massaged the heart once stone.
Her eyes fulfilled me with renewed purpose.

To her, the kiss was a pleasant surprise.
An enjoyable moment shared.
A spark did not ignite the flame.
It remained untouched, unfazed, unchanged.

His dream crushed, his utopia crumbled.
The endless memories not yet made, erased.
A harmless kiss, the gesture well received.
The leap of faith...now a drowning abyss.

To him, it was everything and more.
To her, it was just a moment in time.

No matter how hard I try,
The knot never untwines.
All I want is the release,
I envy those that can.

My heart is a valve,
Tightly shut and un-opening.
Pain goes in, tears should come out.

Each day it comes undone.
I feel like the chaos is coming.
To lose control is to be vulnerable.

I'm scared of feeling,
the world is my worse nightmare.