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Zac Sandri Mar 2013
I'm sorry to be childish
But when you treat me like a child
I can't believe you expect
All the responsibility of an adult
But the obidence of a dog
Show where your trust lies
That you raised me right
Clearly you have doubt in that
Have you taught me nothing?
Have you learned nothing either?
I demand my answers now
I am no longer your fledgling child
So treat as an adult
Zac Sandri Aug 2013
I've always lived my life to think that I was a good person
Perhaps that's what made me foul
Two steps ahead, three tumbles behind
Has left me with a beaten mind
I always knew my life would fail
But not to kindness and love
I thought I was the best of men
Not the angry and the rough
Zac Sandri Mar 2013
I shouldn't say I always
Felt the way I did
I've never been quite happy
Though, I've never been too sad
The times and trails passed me
I watched the way I always had
Until you came right behind me
Stole my heart and took my hand

If anyone is lis'ning
'Neath the moon of which we lay
I hope they hear the singing
Of the dove she chased away
For peace my heart may never know
I'd rather love my darling Crow
And when she dies I'll say it so
Our love's too deep, we both must go
Zac Sandri Aug 2014
Dedicated to the rogue in all of us
I heard all the fuss
The noise made
I thought about it
You know I must
I cannot help it
The noise made
I liked it
But if I combined it
With
Myself
The world sees a player
Zac Sandri Dec 2014
I found
The later that I go
The less I need to know
It's not
All the best of luck
Finding you are ******
I wish
Need I say
Need I think
Besides
The world is so cruel
I'd known better, right
Although
I was forced into a farce
Always demise in mind
I wish
Need I say
Need I think
I wish  
Need I think
I'll never say
Zac Sandri Apr 2013
It was in the springtime
I had a talk with a friend of mine
Of words he did not want to hear
Things he probably would not adhere to
But needed to be heard by my own ear

It was in the springtime
I spilled my heart and spilled my fear
It may not have ever been said
I may not have listened if it had
But I spoke it from my chest and my head

It was in the springtime
I heard the words I would never leave
They mean so little to the passers by
Whose ears would perk with comprehension
I cannot explain exactly why

It was in the springtime
I walked with him into town
The trains nearly drown out our sound
I did not care if they did
In the dead of night I heard the birds sing 'round
Zac Sandri May 2014
In the predawn hours
Light is still visible
Would that light
Still shine
If
The world
Were not made
Of reflective materials
I am not quite sure it would
Zac Sandri Jul 2016
Of all the weary restless listeners
She stood out the most
Her eyes alight with blaze of thought
Her body sunk from forgotten sleep
She stood to say - I'm alright
I wouldn't argue with her

I've had my share of sleeplessness
The kind when you're alone
My eyes were black and bagged
And often I fell to twilight
Not yet sleep; not quite aware
She awoke me from my state
The world a bright and brilliant thing

The inn in which we stayed was kind
But offered us no respite
Comfort tames not the fervored mind
She knew as well as I
We sat and spoke
Across the room
No use for words or hands

A wonderful woman she truly was
A strong and weathered one
Her cheeks told me of winds they'd fought
Her nose of frostbit summers
She smiled at me
We had surely found each other

I had left in search of something
Never figuring the objects name
Upturned rocks and drunken talks
No rewards were received
By midnights edge I had always left
Aloft
To chase my goals
My maddening maddened goals

Today I had found the moment
That was worthy of my death
She stared at me
I stared at her
Ember caught in twirling wind amid a forest made from bone
I stood
She strode
We met
Hands clasped

I died that day and so did she
From he and I to we
I'd panned creeks, duh sites, fought bears of men
But collapsed in bed
At a simple inn
Is where's my treasure lies
It's been awhile
Zac Sandri Nov 2012
My father always told me
"listening is a skill"
I took it to heart
I listened
but did not hear

there is that difference
that inequality
a chasm
the black abyss below
if you let your ears fall

I learned my lesson
Im afraid
no one else did
I speak to be heard
and listen so I can speak

yet even my father would not hear
nor my friends give pause
only my love knew
with her head on my heart
that listening is a skill
Zac Sandri Sep 2013
Why is the whispers and wishing go'n by
the lightness and wonder
your far crowed blue blunder
let out for the night?

Has greatness allowed you no sight
that without it you'd stumble
or make the crowds grumble
Wherenot a place to go?

Find yourself the roots of your foe
Deep and within you
Where you dare not continue
You leave to let yourself lie
Now
Zac Sandri Aug 2014
Now
The world is NOT coming to an end
I can see why you think that
Wars are waged by those who dont fight
Men are murdered by their protectors
Women ***** by their friends
Leaders lay idle in their havens
Riots roll through our streets
Fear seeps into all our minds
We are held down by a force that prefers to remain invisible
In the darkness it is easier to deceive
Easier to control
Easier to hide
But only cowards use the darkness
They use their tools to craft stones around us
They try to entomb us in
"Free" they call themselves
"Free" they call us
But
Freedom is without them
Freedom is in the light
The world could come to an end
Only if we stop shining
Only if we stop burning in the dark
If you want to save the world then start fires
Smoke the cowards out
It is our choice
That
The world is NOT coming to an end
It is time. The tyranny of our accepted comfort culture world is outdated. Humanity no longer has a use for this breed of monsters. Burn the money and smoke out your prey!
Zac Sandri Mar 2013
So tired and tried
Go on, go on
The vioce I'm denied
Shout on, shout on
The knowledge you lied
Talk on, talk on
On whom I've relied
Lean on, lean on
I'm afraid I've replied
Speak on, speak on
My journey revived
Go on, go on
Zac Sandri Jan 2014
Hello.
Hello?
I came here. I don't know how but I came here. I was somewhere else and now I'm here. I can't understand it but I am here. There was another place I was at. I felt I was alive there and I'm dead here now. I don't feel dead. I can see. I can feel! But my heart doesn't beat right. It doesn't shutter in panic. It won't leap for joy. It just beats. Maybe I've grown used to it. So used to it I always feel it beat. It could not beat but I feel it. It's there but I'm here. Where is it here? It's a place; it's somewhere. Not anywhere I've been. Here isn't any place I've heard of. Here it was different. Distorted. It was calm here. I heard but I heard the sound of nothing. I saw the blurry background of life. It wasn't there, though.
Hello?
Hello.
Zac Sandri Mar 2013
I told somebody that
My mind is all I have
No private place to go
Just thought that they should know
All the quiet and the looks
I can't have them be mistook
I see I saw I say
I think of what I may
But do not think I am blank
Or that I am afraid
I do not fear my own thoughts
It's yours that give me pause
Zac Sandri Apr 2013
I can't remember anymore,
All of the things you told me,
Of all the great and wondrous dreams,
And all the lies you sold me,

Our little game of little things,
Back and forth and without end,
Was set for which in dying days,
To attack and then defend,

With each and every pinprick stab,
Awoke a ghost; cried shame,
To think of all and terrible fate,
A needled foot to lame,

So when the light shines very dim,
I know I'll catch a glimpse,
I can't remember all've said,
But I can't say I'm upset
Zac Sandri Apr 2015
take to the right the one who is but nothing. there is something. dark and dark and dark these things are. black as they appear none care more than dark. Blink in the light. it is far far brighter than need be. The dark hides nothing, the brightest light hides all. where then? where could the one to the right remain? to the left there is one to the wrong there is another but to the right... nothing. how can this be? there is one here. there is one there. there MUST be one to the right. foolish foolish foolish to say there is not! the right remains. alone. unaware. unaffected. uneffecting! the light too great for it and the dark - the dark too far. how then? does the right exist? it must, there is a left and a wrong!!!! the right must. it must. it must. but
Zac Sandri Apr 2013
A swift look from side to side
Confirms there's no one else behind
I felt them there
I swear
They know what they're doing

They the word that denotes them
Someone else with my efforts to stem
Stop hiding!
It's driving
Me mad in my thoughtful mind

I'll trip again not catch my fall
I saw it coming and couldn't stop at all
I was made a joke
I simply choked
And it was I who made me the fool
Zac Sandri Apr 2013
Darkness of the patterned cloth,
Roughness of the sheets,
Wakeful wisping washing dreams,
Needless, needless sleep,
"Awake!" and "Awake!",
Alarm clock cries,
Quick and roll,
Avoid demise,

Bright and vivid bleakness seeps,
A coil to neck and chest,
Lost and losing the way it seems,
The serpents war is best,
"Arise!" and "Arise!",
A savior shouts,
Cast off the snake,
Forget your doubts,

Blackness of the inner eye,
Restlessness, heartlessness drives,
Struggle to the surface so close,
Final, dreaded release arrives,
"Sleep." and "Sleep."
The demon chides,
Hold gets tight,
Time he bides,

Sleep, Awake, Arise
Sleep, Awake, Arise
Sleep,
Awake,
Arise.
Zac Sandri Apr 2015
I consoled a friend as they buried his
An old man who had lived good life
It was difficult nonetheless
Four days from heaven
Three steps from hell
He never broke his gaze

I've been told
We are all okay until we're not
A smile that fades
A tear that falls
To feed the broken soil

It's hard to know
This is how we all will end
Broken back down
Eaten all up
To live for another
To build for another
To comfort a friend as they bury his
Zac Sandri May 2014
I walked out the door
The wooden deck met
As it always had
Looking up
I saw the tree
Finally blooming
In the spring
All of the anger
Frustration
Pity and
Depression
Faded.
Perhaps that's where I belong
With that tree
Beautiful in the summer
Nostalgic in the fall
Dead in the winter
And in the spring
Alive.
The trees knew something
How to balance life
In a perfect way
Every day good and bad
The wind helped and hurt
Green and awe
Inspiring.
I thought
I might belong
With them
The trees
Where the world of humanity
Didn't matter
Where the rise and fall created Wholeness.
I was trapped
With an idea of what
The world was
A tremulous chaos
Each day
A different and unknown
Struggle.
How I wish I were the tree
That stood green
With first bloom
So still
And beaconing
Alone.
Zac Sandri Nov 2014
I'm trapped in the moment.
I know that all moments are the same
That there here
Happening
But every moment I'm trapped.
Some people live for the moment
Some people live IN the moment
But I'm trapped here
Knowing
All moments are happening
All times in the same place.
Here
Here
But I'm trapped
Here
Zac Sandri Apr 2013
The poet is a liar
All taunts and teachings aside
He'll fool you with the wording
That sounds so disconcerting
But happy he truly is inside

The poet is a lair
But you knew this from the start
Yet you see him here and there
And you always shed a tear
As if he's spoken from the heart

The poet is a lair
He'll pretend to be so cold
He'll convince you that he's lying
But really he is trying
To find the one who isn't sold
Zac Sandri Nov 2012
Often dreams plague my eyes
all of the wakeful wishes
and daydream desires
float seamlessly and endlessly
clouding and mudding and clogging
my thoughts
stopping them
from where they ought to go

I see the world
the world as it is
but I also see the world
the world as it could be
the constant threat of a paranoid death
or the ease of a winning ticket
the car driving past could be
my next lovers ride
or my final breaths image

the trail and terror
of two worlds so often one
grips and tears
my eyes away from the pavement
and into the stars
Zac Sandri Apr 2013
More on and more over
Get up or get on
Heard it in a song once
Twice they sang it live
Take heed, take your time
You know the rhythm

Thrump bump bump
Thrump bump bump

Just do it they say
All over the radio waves
Need to know
Yes you do!
Of course we don't
But they sing and sing

Thrump bump bump
Thrump bump bump

Wave to the music
Drop to the beat
Its taking over your senses
Like the smoke in the air
Sweet sweet notes
Dark dark meaning  

Thrump bump bump
Thrump bump bump
Zac Sandri Feb 2013
The overwhelming pull and flow
The doubtful peace we may once know
Surf and wave that disrupts the sand
Never receding except on command

The foam that's left up on the beach
Something the breakers can't seem to reach
Pops and bursts all in due time
Not truly obstructive nor truly benign

The tides come and leave again and again
A cycle continued never with end
The beaches will change and water grow warm
But the tides, they will forever perform
Zac Sandri Apr 2013
Today could be an ugly day
And today the sun could shine
Where is the light behind
The mirrored windowed mind
All seen in dream and hazy thought
The wind blow'n down the clouds
Whistling past the door way - locked
Waiting for his pals
The rain won't come for some time
He's hidden himself away
Today could be an ugly day
And today the sun could shine
Zac Sandri Apr 2013
Her flavor in my mouth
Her name on my breath
Her scent in my head
Her hand on my breast
Alas! I cannot see her
Zac Sandri Feb 2014
I
Feel
But a fool

I
Can not
Understand you

Too much to drink
Too much to drink
Too much to drink
Too much to drink

I
Have felt
Secure before

I
Wish that
I'd never ever

Said
The things
That I've said before

I
Wish I
Had been silent

Too much to drink
Too much to drink
Too much to drink
Too much to drink
Too much to drink
Too much to drink
Too much to drink
Too much to drink
Zac Sandri Dec 2012
Use this, Useless 
Grinning toothless 
Gums and all
And since the Fall
All time is ruthless
Use this useless
Zac Sandri Mar 2013
Tell me something that
I don’t often hear
Words that make me smile
When whispered in my ear
For once I’ll wait upon it
Of the words I hold so dear

I’ve always been concerned
That I would die alone
Laying by myself
No one to hear my groan
And when the hour came
I would be left only as flesh and bone

So whisper what you will
And spill in me your heart
I want to hear those easy words
So my life again may start
That you’re less afraid of loving me
Than being torn apart
Zac Sandri Apr 2013
"The hour is late"
          I hear her say
          Not late enough to sleep
"Close your eyes"
         She whispers to me
         Soft words do sink
"Give me your hand"
         Still black around
         All sound is out
"Hold it please"
         I can feel her heart
         Beat and beat and beat
"...goodnight..."
         The hour is late
         Not late enough to sleep

— The End —