In a world of diamonds
and ruby highlights,
one learns that
looking for patterns
in a patch of grass
never works.

No, patterns are far
more plausible.
They play with the mind,
some call it a safe place,
warm and sugared up.
Others call it a curse.

In my world of shades,
a pattern is light
at the end of this long
tunnel pushing further
away until all I can
see is her smile and laugh.

My pattern is no
ordinary pattern.
My pattern is one
to drive one's head crazy
with no direction
heading back.

No, my pattern is no
ordinary pattern.
And yet, your pattern
still haunts me.

You are like ice,
the ice I hold in my hand.
I try to give you warmth,
the warmth you desire
just to make you happy.
And yet, you melt
and I am left with
an empty hand,
an empty heart.
You are gone.

Then your return
with your friend salt
expecting my warmth.
You tell me to squeeze
Squeeze my warmth
into you, regardless of my pain.
You beg and plead
wondering where my love is.
It's gone.

The reflection of
the moon
resting it's image on
the bed of water
infront of us
is the nicest way
I would think
I'd spend my time
with you

The feeling
of you wrapping yourself
around me,
feeling me

poke

your soul
and kiss
your tracks

follow you to
the forrest
and get lost.


Lost in your
eyes
Lost in your
ways
Lost in your waves
Lost in your
eyes

I'm lost in you.

This summer is alive
in me and in you.
In the shine of the sun
is your eyes in mine
dancing with the rhythm
of the wind blowing
your hair past your ears
showing in full color
the extent of your smile
with my smile,
on this bright summer day.
My lips quiver
with the thought of this fantasy
and it's force
as it pushes to the surface.

And the thoughts of the daisy
in your hair
and the touch of your
fingers with mine
and the love swimming
off the grass
and into our eyes
is all I dream of.

Out of the
deepest crevices
of me pours
your love,

And on this
bridge we stand,
and let time blow by
like the wind.

Although I know
this love isn't mine,
I'll hold onto this moment
and let this life continue.

When this night
rests itself upon us,
and the children
close there eyes,

My thoughts will stay
steady on your lips,
and the water flowing
under the bridge.

And on this Bridge
I sit and stare
at the rocks laying together;
what could have been.

You may bark louder than I roar.
But barking is for dogs,
and roaring is for lions.

My head
sinks
into the wall
slowly.
As the colors
increase
and my fingers
release,
I am alive

When a warrior bleeds,
he is remembered as a hero,
slaying innocence
at the tip of the king's tongue.

Yet, when the same man
spills the same blood
for his own cause,
he is a murderer.

Tell me, which is
Justified?

An old man,
of 72 years of life
told me once
not too long ago
not to wear my heart
on my sleeve,
but I never learned
because my heart was
always comfortable
where it was.
And now that
my heart
is on the floor,
weak and mangled,
I am left
with nothing but
the thought of
a few wise words
that would have
saved my heart.

I am a chosen man's
claim on unspoken lands.
I am the sea of salt,
whispering down your throat.
I am my father's son,
the world at my fingers.
I am the tyranny,
that is your depression
eating away at your soul
until you are nothing but
a reflection of who you were
and who you wanted to be.
I am death,
the birds chirping your name,
the things you see in the darkest of nights,
the voices you hear when you're all alone.
I am your conscience,
leaving you lonely, battered and alone.
I am the dream you don't want to dream,
I am the words you're afraid to hear,
I am the reason you hate your lie,
I am the thought that keeps you up at night.
I am you,
and you are me.

Yes,
I am death,
and I am
the reason for the chills that run down your spine,
and the reason your heart
is trying to escape your chest.
I am the tear
that swells in your eye
as you shadow me from
the light of day.
I am the choice
you make everyday
to run away from
the dull existence you know
too well.
I am your pain,
I am inside your head,
I am your fear of death,
I am the weight on your shoulders,
I am your insecurities,
I am your want for death,
I am your father's shame,
I am SCREAMING your name.
I am you,
and you are me

Boots clicking together
as the men walk
through this rubble
that once had a
      Dream.

Stomping through
this shattered town, hope of life
is growing dull.

I never liked
the sound of dirt
crunching beneath
my feet,
and I never liked
telling my kid no,
But most of all,
the thought of death.

This town
will never be
as bright as
it used to be

I want to inhale your love,
hold it in deep
So deep,
that you kiss the back
of my throat
and slide your way
down to my lungs.
I will hold you in me for
as long as you'll stay.
Then I'll let the world pull you away
from me

You test a dog on his flight
and a bird on it's bark,
and where are we now?

You teach man to hold a sword
and tell him that his cause is true,
and where are we now?
Where are we now?

You hand the man a book of life
and tell him to abide by it,
and where are we now?

You tell the man of new land
and assure him that it's his,
and where are we now?
Where are we now?

You teach the man to love his brother
and tell him to remember the past,
and where are we now?

You hand the man a bomb
and tell him his cause is right,
and where are we now?
Where are we now?


You stare at the rubble
and curse the heavens above, screaming
"Where are they now?"
But never questioning how we got here.

The space between
you and I
may be large,
but the static
connection between us
has never been stronger.
Some call it chemistry,
Some call it luck,
Some call it fate,
I call it a future.

Today is a dark day.
So dark,
in fact,
not even the words
on this very paper (screen)
can describe
the loathing
I have for
myself,
or the will
I lost
to carry on
with my miserable
life.
A day
as dark as
today
is branded with death.
A death that will be conceived as
more of a present,
rather than a punishment.
For, on a day
as dark as today,
my heart would rather
stop beating.

You pregnant me with your words
Moving in my stomach
singing to me softly.

If the world stopped spinning
for just a day,
just a short day,
would you find me?
would you find me
in this shell of a world?
would you try
to make amends?
I'm sorry I wronged you/
Know that I love you
and I'm sorry.
I love you
and
I'm
sorry.

If the world stopped spinning
for just a day,
a short little day,
I would show you
the side you saw before,
many years ago,
a side I claimed to be dead;
a side
I wanted dead
for so long.
A side that loves you.
I still love you.
Know that I'm sorry
and I still love you.
I'm sorry
and
I
still
**Love you

Ask a man about his life,
His words are grey.

Ask a man about his love,
He speaks only colors.

The way the words
dance out of your
mouth
like the steady flow
of water pouring down
the side of a cliff
Enchants me.
The thrill of the words
ringing from your mouth
make my spine tingle
and my teeth chatter.
the way your lips
dance with words
captivates me.

Expanding my lungs
for you,
I inhale all
of you
And exhale us

You were there for me
or so I'd like to think,
but not what I like to say
when I'm asked about you.

Your words spun around my head
and to this day,
I still remember when you said
You weren't afraid to die
and that you knew                                               I was
And I still remember how I felt
when I said you were wrong,
but I knew you were right.

I remember your hand
splashing across my face
like a tsunami crashing down
on me
I was weak and you knew this.
You knew I was weak, and
you know you changed me
with a stencil tracing of your hand
in red, on my face.

But did you know I missed you?

She said "okay."
a blistering hit
like a baseball bat
swung at my face,
slowly engulfing it,
leaving nothing but blood & splinters.
And as the icy words
left her lips,
she had frozen the flame
I built for her,
for us,
and stomped the ice,
crushing it, and
leaving it to melt
into the dirt and
Vanish.
And she turned away,
leaving me to trace her path
till I could trace it no more.

Hit me hard. It hit me hard.
Hard and fast, swift to my soul.
Fast and slowly, as the red rushes.
And that’s just it. The red rushes.

Kick it,
Kick it,
Kick it,
KICK IT.

Trash is my forte, trash is my freedom.
Vice is the grip, you can call your own claim.
For, when the red rushes, it rushes fast.
But you know that, don’t you? You knew all along.

Kick me,
Kick me,
Kick me,
KICK ME.

I kinda like the red, oh how it rushes.
I like the way it taste, the tingling it brings.
Sorta knocks you off your feet, the red does.
Cause when the red rushes, you will start to notice.

Kick me,                                                When the red rushes, will you notice?
Kick me,                                                When the red rushes, will you notice?
Kick me,                                                When the red rushes, will you notice?
KICK ME.                                              When the red rushes, you will notice.

The tidbits of creases
in the skin of
her face,
surrounding  her mouth
and extending her lips,
lighting
her eyes,
showing her cheeks
is beauty.

Whispering in my ear,
you find that I
am weakened by your words

f
  l
    o
       a
          t
        i
     n
  g  

around my brain,
dancing in place
in the center
you are.

The girl I love
has eyes that dance
to the swaying of clouds.
The girl I love
sees the world through
a glass kaleidoscope.
The girl I love has a smile that glows
with the light of the moon.
The girl I love
swims through the ocean
that resides in my head.
The girl I love
has a face of change
in a dark lit world.
The girl I love
brings my heart to a level
of happiness I've never felt.

The girl I love
loves me

Words may not be objects,
you may not be able to
hold words in your hand,
but they weigh a lot more
than you and I

Running my head across
the smooth landscape that is
the side of your face
I see plants living and breathing,
a plethora of animals
instinctually battling to survive,
A family of three; a mother, her child and a dog
straining all resources in front of them to pass this
day-by-day struggle

But I see more than that
I see the color in your eyes
those ruby constellations
and I see them staring back at me
painting the picture of what we want
and what we need
painting the picture of you and me
as simple as that.

I hope your parents
are proud of you

I hope when you
look in a mirror,

it doesn't laugh
at what you are

and what you
could have been

Because when you
sleep in the dirt

No one will laugh,
but everyone will smile

because they will laugh,
at the waste of life

You prove to be
everyday.